My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic:: READ POST 11156/PAGE 558

[Emperor Robrainiac]

Anyway, everyone who's read it, please give me feedback! What did you think? What did you like? What did you dislike? Is it a good first fanfic? Is it a good fanfic in general? Is it a good crossover? Does everyone stay in character enough? Tell me! And if you haven't read it, please read it and do the same. I haven't gotten a whole lot of feedback so far and I really want some.

You made Lyra forever alone. I don't like you.

Well, aside from Doctor Whooves and a certain character admitting a crush on another character, I thought it was a decent read. I really loved the interactions with the Sonic Characters and the Ponies, and I think you wrote them very well, just what I love to see in a crossover. When it comes down to it, keeping the characters in character is what makes me love crossovers and you did a pretty good job on that. Nicely done!

Though there were some things that really bugged me about the story. I'll spoiler it so those interested won't see any spoilers... Or get irritated by my bitching.

The most major complaint for the story really, was that I was expecting a Sonic and My Little Pony Crossover rather than a Pony/Sonic/Doctor Who crossover... I suggest you put more info on Doctor Whooves in your summary to avoid that confusion.

I know Doctor Whooves is sort of a part of the Pony world, but with all the references to the Doctor's backstory (Such as Gallifrey, the Time War, the Ood and "The Waters of Mars" episode) you threw in and even putting the Doctor in his human form, I really think you should have made it more clear that it was also going to be a Doctor Who crossover as well, or at least take it easy on the references. There were times where the story felt like it focused more on the Doctor Who part of the crossover rather than the Sonic part of it.

I felt that It could alienate some readers who never seen Doctor Who or don't enjoy it (Yes believe it or not, some people actually dislike Doctor who... Shocking isn't it? )

Admittedly, this is mostly due to my bias towards the Doctor Whooves fanon. Don't get me wrong. I just recently started watching Doctor Who, and I love it, and I am looking forward to the new season starting this weekend. (Two more days for me! ) I'm just pretty biased towards Doctor Whooves due to me thinking it's an incredibly unoriginal and bland as heck fanon.

And I'll be honest, as much as I love the Tenth doctor, the scene with the mysterious pegasus saying he's the best Doctor just made me groan and facepalm. No offense, but that just seemed very fanboyish, and like I said, I love

him, but I think that the 10th doctor tends to get overpraised, so I'm kinda tired of seeing so much of it...

I'm not sure how I feel about Eggman becoming good though, and Sonic forgiving him so easily. They both felt kinda rushed and out of character IMO. I've always seen Sonic being sort of the skeptical kind of guy.

I also thought that the CelestiaxTwilight ship kinda came out of nowhere... That's all I really have to say about it, I wont complain about the ship, even though I really find it odd for some reason. (Shrugs)

Overall, I thought it was alright, Great character interactions, decent story, but too many Doctor Whooves References, the Eggman conflict and Celestia's crush on Twilight are what bugged me the most.

EDIT: Looking it over, I apologize if this comes across as very biased and ranty... I have a tendency to do that without thinking. I may not be a very reliable critic, but these are just my opinions. If you're gonna make a sequel with Doctor Whooves in it, (As I've seen in the comments,) go for it! I don't want to discourage you from writing it just because some loser hipster nerd ranted about it. XD

Edited August 31, 2012 by Lyra Heartstrings

[Playboy Spike]

Why are you crossing Sonic with ponies. Just...why. They have nothing to do with eachother, have nothing in common besides talking animals, its just...NOOOOOOOOO.

[SenEDDtor Missile]

Why are you crossing Sonic with ponies. Just...why. They have nothing to do with eachother, have nothing in common besides talking animals, its just...NOOOOOOOOO.

It's a fanfic, and this is a Sonic Forum. This would have shown up regardless of your personal tastes.

Edited August 31, 2012 by Frankenstein Joe

[Speederino]

Why are you crossing Sonic with ponies. Just...why. They have nothing to do with eachother, have nothing in common besides talking animals, its just...NOOOOOOOOO.

You mean besides both of them having blue, super-fast protagonists with attitudes? I think some crossovers are to be expected. Besides, given this is an MLP thread on a Sonic forum I'm not sure what you were expecting.

Don't want to be a negative nancy, though. WELCOME TO THE THREAD!!!

[SweeCrue]

Why are you crossing Sonic with ponies. Just...why. They have nothing to do with eachother, have nothing in common besides talking animals, its just...NOOOOOOOOO.

Well... atleast they have more in common than most crossovers...

I mean seriously:

+

=

^And that's one of the most popular fanfics, from what I can tell.

[Tornado]

Linky.

Gummy's got the moves.

Also, I almost as a rule loathe Sonic/Pony crossovers. And yes, I recognize the irony in that.

[Penny]

You made Lyra forever alone. I don't like you.

Well, aside from Doctor Whooves and a certain character admitting a crush on another character, I thought it was a decent read. I really loved the interactions with the Sonic Characters and the Ponies, and I think you wrote them very well, just what I love to see in a crossover. When it comes down to it, keeping the characters in character is what makes me love crossovers and you did a pretty good job on that. Nicely done!

Though there were some things that really bugged me about the story. I'll spoiler it so those interested won't see any spoilers... Or get irritated by my bitching.

The most major complaint for the story really, was that I was expecting a Sonic and My Little Pony Crossover rather than a Pony/Sonic/Doctor Who crossover... I suggest you put more info on Doctor Whooves in your summary to avoid that confusion.

I know Doctor Whooves is sort of a part of the Pony world, but with all the references to the Doctor's backstory (Such as Gallifrey, the Time War, the Ood and "The Waters of Mars" episode) you threw in and even putting the Doctor in his human form, I really think you should have made it more clear that it was also going to be a Doctor Who crossover as well, or at least take it easy on the references. There were times where the story felt like it focused more on the Doctor Who part of the crossover rather than the Sonic part of it.

I felt that It could alienate some readers who never seen Doctor Who or don't enjoy it (Yes believe it or not, some people actually dislike Doctor who... Shocking isn't it? )

Admittedly, this is mostly due to my bias towards the Doctor Whooves fanon. Don't get me wrong. I just recently started watching Doctor Who, and I love it, and I am looking forward to the new season starting this weekend. (Two more days for me! ) I'm just pretty biased towards Doctor Whooves due to me thinking it's an incredibly unoriginal and bland as heck fanon.

And I'll be honest, as much as I love the Tenth doctor, the scene with the mysterious pegasus saying he's the best Doctor just made me groan and facepalm. No offense, but that just seemed very fanboyish, and like I said, I love

him, but I think that the 10th doctor tends to get overpraised, so I'm kinda tired of seeing so much of it...

I'm not sure how I feel about Eggman becoming good though, and Sonic forgiving him so easily. They both felt kinda rushed and out of character IMO. I've always seen Sonic being sort of the skeptical kind of guy.

I also thought that the CelestiaxTwilight ship kinda came out of nowhere... That's all I really have to say about it, I wont complain about the ship, even though I really find it odd for some reason. (Shrugs)

Overall, I thought it was alright, Great character interactions, decent story, but too many Doctor Whooves References, the Eggman conflict and Celestia's crush on Twilight are what bugged me the most.

About Lyra being alone: the only reason I did that was because it's going to play a small part in the sequel. In fact, I originally wasn't going to have that in the story.

About the threeway crossover: yeah, it was originally only going to be a Sonic/MLP crossover (though the Doctor was always going to be in it) but I ended up coming up with the idea to tie it into The End Of Time. Thus the Doctor got more involved.

About Celestia x Twilight: Again, I wasn't originally going to have this. The only reason I did was because it's going to play a huge part in my planned third fanfic (I plan on making this a trilogy). A HUGE part.

About Eggman changing and Sonic's quick acceptance: Eggman's change was supposed to be out of character. He found the error of his ways and he hated himself for what he'd done. Sonic's quick acceptance was because Sonic and Eggman had been fighting for years so Sonic would be able to tell if Eggman was actually changed or not.

About the fanboy "Tenth Doctor" scene: The tenth Doctor is awesome, shut up. No, jk. But the Tenth Doctor is my favorite (though Matt Smith comes close) and I had to have that in there. Plus, the Doctor needed something to cheer him up. He's no fun when he's all depressed. Though, if I may ask, who is your favorite Doctor?

Thanks for the feedback. I really appreciate it.

Edited August 31, 2012 by Grimchi3f

[SweeCrue]

You guys know you want this to happen:

You can imagine it, can't you?

"Where's that damn fourth Element of Harmony?!"

It's glorious, GLORIOUS!!!

[Emperor Robrainiac]

About Lyra being alone: the only reason I did that was because it's going to play a small part in the sequel. In fact, I originally wasn't going to have that in the story.

Ah, I was really joking about that one. As much as I like a good LyraxBonBon as a couple or friends, I do think it's good to do something for a conflict even if it means killing off or affecting my favorite characters.

About the threeway crossover: yeah, it was originally only going to be a Sonic/MLP crossover (though the Doctor was always going to be in it) but I ended up coming up with the idea to tie it into The End Of Time. Thus the Doctor got more involved.

Makes sense. I just say take it easy on the references... or if not, then say it's gonna be a three way crossover... With MLP/Sonic/Doctor Who.

About Celestia x Twilight: Again, I wasn't originally going to have this. The only reason I did was because it's going to play a huge part in my planned third fanfic (I plan on making this a trilogy). A HUGE part.

Hm. Well alright. It probably would have been better if it was implied earlier in the fic. I suggest writing an outline or something before the story though? I used to write without one and I had the habit of throwing in as much characters as possible with no explanation as to why. It actually helped a lot, and having someone look it over helps as well.

About Eggman changing and Sonic's quick acceptance: Eggman's change was supposed to be out of character. He found the error of his ways and he hated himself for what he'd done. Sonic's quick acceptance was because Sonic and Eggman had been fighting for years so Sonic would be able to tell if Eggman was actually changed or not.

Hmmm... Don't really have much to say about this. I can't really see Eggman changing his ways, considering how simple the Sonic series is. Though I suppose if it moves the story along, and helps make the characters more interesting, then I suppose it works.

About the fanboy "Tenth Doctor" scene: The tenth Doctor is awesome, shut up. No, jk. But the Tenth Doctor is my favorite (though Matt Smith comes close) and I had to have that in there. Plus, the Doctor needed something to cheer him up. He's no fun when he's all depressed. Though, if I may ask, who is your favorite Doctor?

No, I wont shut up. Quit liking what I don't like. Haha, nah i kid as well. It did feel out of place though, especially with the random pegasus talking about our world... I'm assuming the pegasus is going to play a big part in the sequels?

To be fair, BBC America hasn't really showing much 10th doctor episodes, and I've really been watching mostly 9th doctor episodes. He's a bit angsty and emo than what fans are used to, but there's something I find charming about number 9 when acts quirky and giddy. At the moment, number 9 is my favorite, Number 10 is my most second viewed, and he comes very close my favorite actually. I might change my mind if I manage to catch more 10th doctor or 11th doctor episodes... I also have a soft spot for the 4th though, and it helps that he's the only doctor my dad will watch.

Thanks for the feedback. I really appreciate it

No problem. I do like critiquing stories even if I tend to have some bias. XD

[Crystal Slave]

I just finished another submission for Equestria Daily! Wish me luck, I really hope it makes it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8Me50p_il0

Now to get on writing that fanfic. I can't handle any more FL Studio today.

Edited August 31, 2012 by AndrewClocksin

[Tornado]

Laughing for real about this.

[Applejack1973]

Someone write this story. plzthxbai.

I have some work to do on fimfiction.

Gilda and Trixie together very interesting.

Edited August 31, 2012 by Applejack1973

[Dark Qiviut]

Dear Luna:

You think you're pissed off now? Wait till you face the barrel.

Love,

DQ

Link.

Edited August 31, 2012 by Dark Qiviut

[Tornado]

Since this seems to be the recent (acceptable) theme of this thread, you know what's really sad? 50 seconds of song time over the course of 52 episodes is considerably more than I thought she would have.

Edited September 1, 2012 by Tornado

[Old dead account]

Well fuck, even Cadence got more song time than her.

[Penny]

No, I wont shut up. Quit liking what I don't like. Haha, nah i kid as well. It did feel out of place though, especially with the random pegasus talking about our world... I'm assuming the pegasus is going to play a big part in the sequels?

You have no idea...

I suggest writing an outline or something before the story though?

Funnily enough, I did but when I started writing I got a lot of ideas. The story itself actually started to deviate from it's original outline during Chapter 3 of Part 2. The biggest difference is the fact that Celestia was even in the story. She was only supposed to be in at the end.

At the moment, number 9 is my favorite

Before I actually watched his episode (and even while watching his first few episodes) I thought he was terrible. However, after watching the episode "Dalek" (which is one of my favorite episodes because of the emotional aspect), I began seeing him in a different light. The realization that I actually liked him didn't really hit until I saw him regenerate. Even though the Tenth is my favorite, seeing the Ninth go made me think "Aw, I'm gonna miss him. He was actually pretty good now that I think about it." Now, he's my third favorite (behind the Eleventh and Tenth). FYI, Netflix has all the episodes from Ninth to Eleventh. If you ever want to actually watch all the episodes in order, you can do it there.

[Strickerx5]

So yeah, that ATG over on EQD just ended and I'm happy to say that I did keep up with it for its full cycle. It's nice to see that I actualy improved a bit from this...

...to this...

I love Kid Icarus: Uprising.

I know these still aren't perfect, but compared to where I was at... it's a vast improvement. I really have to keep this going (possibly drawing more than just ponies), I actually love to draw now.

[Emperor Robrainiac]

So yeah, that ATG over on EQD just ended and I'm happy to say that I did keep up with it for its full cycle. It's nice to see that I actualy improved a bit from this...

...to this...

I love Kid Icarus: Uprising.

I know these still aren't perfect, but compared to where I was at... it's a vast improvement. I really have to keep this going (possibly drawing more than just ponies), I actually love to draw now.

Not a bad improvement if I say so myself. I would have liked to participate in the ATG, but due to laziness and school starting, I never got a picture done. Oh well, maybe next ATG.

[Old dead account]

Why are you crossing Sonic with ponies. Just...why. They have nothing to do with eachother, have nothing in common besides talking animals, its just...NOOOOOOOOO.

Oh just wait till you see mine.

Bored now, here's a game

Apple Cream, eh?

Username is Chocolate Jelly...

Edited September 2, 2012 by Prince Solaris

[McGroose]

Oh just wait till you see mine.

Bored now, here's a game

My pony name is Minty Diamond...That's actually a pretty good name.

I used to know someone whose first name was Quentin, maybe he should try this.

Edited September 2, 2012 by Mephiles550

[Emperor Robrainiac]

Oh just wait till you see mine.

Bored now, here's a game

Apple Cream, eh?

Soo, it looks like my pony name is Swirly Sky... Not bad.

EDIT: Just realized... Why is Penis one of the names? XD

Edited September 2, 2012 by Lyra Heartstrings

[Speederino]

Dawn Shy. Sounds like a vampire pony.

[Debug Ring]

Flutter Hooves? Well, could be worse. Could have been Penis Clop. That would be awful.

Edited September 2, 2012 by Rainbow Ring

[SenEDDtor Missile]

Oh just wait till you see mine.

Bored now, here's a game

Apple Jelly...huh.

But my user name right now (Frankenstein Joe in the event I change it) is Berry Puddle.

Edited September 2, 2012 by Frankenstein Joe

[Celestia]

Apparently my pony name would be "Swirly Flower". Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue very well. D: