Sonic Colours Review topic

[Dark Qiviut]

Fix'd.

LOL! Even better. Thanks. *thumbs up*

[Spooky Mulder]

After his glowing PAX preview I find it difficult to believe he meant 10% of the stuff he said in his review. We've been trolled.

[Balding Spider]

Backlash93 just came up with an interesting concept.

The Sterling Cycle

Jim Pre-release - "I love this game! It's going to rock! Very promising!"

Jim at Release - "This game sucks! Biggest disappointment EVAR!"

Now I'm expecting someone out there to make this a reality.

[Sami]

Backlash93 just came up with an interesting concept.

Now I'm expecting someone out there to make this a reality.

I would, but since I'm on my crappy computer, running Photoshop while converting a video file for my review would probably crash everything. :l

[Mega]

I vote someone trolls the troll. :|b

Or at least comments to explain to all those fans that worship that review to uh... look at 80% of all other reviews of the game?

[Sami]

I vote someone trolls the troll. :|b

Or at least comments to explain to all those fans that worship that review to uh... look at 80% of all other reviews of the game?

I've already trolled him on his Twitter. 'Twas fun.

[Mega]

Oh, I just mean on the actual review page, where everyone going "OMG SAWNIK CYCLE" can see it. :'D

Because seriously, they're basing their opinions on one review? Psh.

[KrazyBean]

Huh, why did he give Assassin's Creed 2 an 4.5??

You can say that again!! AC2 is one of the best sandbox adventure games to date!!!

My favorite one's

...Shame really. Oh well, their loss.

[SenEDDtor Missile]

This is two of the comments I found on D-toid for this review:

Epic-KxDtoid

@PJMan, Note-check

Wow....someone pulled the metacritic card!

Herp derp jim sux errybodee sez this game roolz and roxord teh boxorz lolololol tacoz derp.

Honestly, just go with your opinion, not the majority. Because the majority may lead you into a sodding trap.

AND

Hahahahahaha! I knew it! I knew that this game was gonnabomb! And for all the 4 bashers, answer me this: where's your sonic 4 killer now?! WOoT SONIC 4 FTW! This proves that fanboys are fucking idiots! Muahahahahahahahaha!

BOTH from the same person, Epic-KxDtoid

OTHER than completely pissing me off because of how rude he is....

DOES ANYONE BESIDES ME SEE THE HYPOCRISY IN THIS? He just basically told us to stick with our own opinions, and yet HE seems to completely parrot Jim's review!

Edited November 14, 2010 by Enigma2

[Badnik Zero]

Review: Jim Sterling and his Shitty Sonic Colors Review

It's strange to think that with the same title that garnered the 8 and 9 scores fans wanted, it was a blogger with an audience that rated Sonic Colors a 4.5 out of 10. Jim Sterling despite his status as a reviewer, complete with a focus on writing things on the internet, shows little understanding of genre, fun games, or not being a douchebag.

All I have to ask is... why do people still listen to fucking Jim Sterling?

At first his review appears to be levelheaded. By acknowledging Sonic Colors as an improvement over Sonic's last release, Jim breezes through his first few paragraphs without putting his foot in his goddamn mouth. It truly convinces readers that Jim is not a terrible miser sloughing away on a typewriter in a dark room.

Then come the indefensible complaints... problems figuring out the games he plays... use of many ellipses... and as a whole a review so badly prepared for, you'd think he spent six minutes with the demo version of the game at E3. Then you realize this review could've been written by a thirteen year old with a learning disability.

The simple fact of the matter is this - Sonic Colors - I mean Jim Sterling is a bad reviewer. He is not informative, inventing things to complain about, like physics, which he should probably take a crash course in or at least consult Wikipedia about. Whoever works at Destructoid, they just don't have a clue what's wrong with their editor.

This is compounded by the fact that Jim Sterling insists that he's not a massive wart on the ass of online video game reviews. He simply isn't equipped for both being a troll and getting paid for it, and the abhorrent way in which Jim dismisses valid criticism demonstrates this fact over and over again. The review floats "mystically" from one poor example of a flaw no one else experiences to another, making believing this blogger next to impossible. The review possesses an "otherworldly" amount of hyperbole that one has to get used to before he could use it in any decision making processes. And this is all before we get to all the dickriders hanging out on Destructoid.

First of all, don't even read this review. This piece requires a strong tolerance for bullshit to even approach readable. Secondly, however much bullshit you can chew on, the review is still absurd. For instance, he finds a way to explain how Sonic's automated homing attack doesn't work for him. Sometimes the review requires sheer fortitude on the reader's part not to comment on Destructoid about how Sterling is a mess. There are sections where Sterling must quickly zip from left to right while running along a path. Of course he can't figure this out because his fat fingers are probably not fit for a standard video game controller. He'll let you guess just how great that feels.

Fortunately, Sterling at least gets some enjoyable moments thinking about how furious people will get over this. Professional trolls are usually the worst reviewers, but he is such a smug fucker that he is actually legitimately fun to watch work, helped by the fact that Sterling's attitude is probably fueled by a deep seated sexual frustration. Of course this review isn't mandatory to make an informed purchase, an assumption far from the truth. It seems Destructoid expects you to visit their site over and over until you begin to agree with them. Unfortunately the site is such a farce of journalism that you'll be angry you navigated their hackneyed site layout once, let alone multiple times.

The frustrating part is that at times, Jim Sterling truly appreciates a video game. Several of his reviews are notable for not being tripe. He finds a perfect mix between criticism and knowing what the hell he's doing. His Twitter is also fairly tolerable, and Sterling seems to have a better time when not getting paid to run his mouth. Just an affable idiot with a terrible sense of humor. It seems however, the more comfortable and well-fed he gets, the less he gives a crap, and every instance of integrity soon gives way to the same sorry, against the grain posture we've witnessed a dozen times before. The problems are exactly the same, and his reviews are just as bad as always.

Score: 4.5 - The Fuck is This Shit (4 scored reviews have some fair points, but they soon give way to ego, incompetence, trolling, and generally confusing views on the game in question. Not the worst writing, but are difficult to recommend to anyone who isn't trying to wank to a low score on a Sonic the Hedgehog title.)

[Mega]

@ Dabinkz

That review is amazing. I think someone should post it in the comments.

...But yeah, I like. /adds rep

[Ferno]

@ Dabinkz

That review is amazing. I think someone should post it in the comments.

You can put stuff that long in the comments there?

But yeah, +1's too.

[sonfan1984]

Review: Jim Sterling and his Shitty Sonic Colors Review

It's strange to think that with the same title that garnered the 8 and 9 scores fans wanted, it was a blogger with an audience that rated Sonic Colors a 4.5 out of 10. Jim Sterling despite his status as a reviewer, complete with a focus on writing things on the internet, shows little understanding of genre, fun games, or not being a douchebag.

All I have to ask is... why do people still listen to fucking Jim Sterling?

At first his review appears to be levelheaded. By acknowledging Sonic Colors as an improvement over Sonic's last release, Jim breezes through his first few paragraphs without putting his foot in his goddamn mouth. It truly convinces readers that Jim is not a terrible miser sloughing away on a typewriter in a dark room.

Then come the indefensible complaints... problems figuring out the games he plays... use of many ellipses... and as a whole a review so badly prepared for, you'd think he spent six minutes with the demo version of the game at E3. Then you realize this review could've been written by a thirteen year old with a learning disability.

The simple fact of the matter is this - Sonic Colors - I mean Jim Sterling is a bad reviewer. He is not informative, inventing things to complain about, like physics, which he should probably take a crash course in or at least consult Wikipedia about. Whoever works at Destructoid, they just don't have a clue what's wrong with their editor.

This is compounded by the fact that Jim Sterling insists that he's not a massive wart on the ass of online video game reviews. He simply isn't equipped for both being a troll and getting paid for it, and the abhorrent way in which Jim dismisses valid criticism demonstrates this fact over and over again. The review floats "mystically" from one poor example of a flaw no one else experiences to another, making believing this blogger next to impossible. The review possesses an "otherworldly" amount of hyperbole that one has to get used to before he could use it in any decision making processes. And this is all before we get to all the dickriders hanging out on Destructoid.

First of all, don't even read this review. This piece requires a strong tolerance for bullshit to even approach readable. Secondly, however much bullshit you can chew on, the review is still absurd. For instance, he finds a way to explain how Sonic's automated homing attack doesn't work for him. Sometimes the review requires sheer fortitude on the reader's part not to comment on Destructoid about how Sterling is a mess. There are sections where Sterling must quickly zip from left to right while running along a path. Of course he can't figure this out because his fat fingers are probably not fit for a standard video game controller. He'll let you guess just how great that feels.

Fortunately, Sterling at least gets some enjoyable moments thinking about how furious people will get over this. Professional trolls are usually the worst reviewers, but he is such a smug fucker that he is actually legitimately fun to watch work, helped by the fact that Sterling's attitude is probably fueled by a deep seated sexual frustration. Of course this review isn't mandatory to make an informed purchase, an assumption far from the truth. It seems Destructoid expects you to visit their site over and over until you begin to agree with them. Unfortunately the site is such a farce of journalism that you'll be angry you navigated their hackneyed site layout once, let alone multiple times.

The frustrating part is that at times, Jim Sterling truly appreciates a video game. Several of his reviews are notable for not being tripe. He finds a perfect mix between criticism and knowing what the hell he's doing. His Twitter is also fairly tolerable, and Sterling seems to have a better time when not getting paid to run his mouth. Just an affable idiot with a terrible sense of humor. It seems however, the more comfortable and well-fed he gets, the less he gives a crap, and every instance of integrity soon gives way to the same sorry, against the grain posture we've witnessed a dozen times before. The problems are exactly the same, and his reviews are just as bad as always.

Score: 4.5 - The Fuck is This Shit (4 scored reviews have some fair points, but they soon give way to ego, incompetence, trolling, and generally confusing views on the game in question. Not the worst writing, but are difficult to recommend to anyone who isn't trying to wank to a low score on a Sonic the Hedgehog title.)

Great, somebody should send that to him so he can read it.

[Mega]

I don't know about how long the comments are, since I don't really visit DToid, but it could always be posted in multiple comments? :|a idk, I just think something should be done just because the people are worshiping that one lousy review.

EDIT: Either way, though, I doubt it'll leave too big of a mark in the long run. As long as the reception remains good, then I'm sure the game will do just fine.

I want to buy it soon, but it'll probably wait until next month, since I've got my eyes on Epic Mickey.

Edited November 14, 2010 by Mega

[TheSoulPurge]

Now why would Dtoid give Sonic Colours a 4.5/10?! I don't mean to be a fanboy, but isn't that too harsh of a review?

Edited November 14, 2010 by TehCoolBuizel

[gato]

EPIC

My lack of posts should make pretty obvious that I really don't care a lot about this, but this post is awesome and deserves to be treated as such.

*add's the 15 rep wich should make this post enter in the category of POPULAR*

And now, concluded this simple but emotive act, I shall dub you a WINRAR!!1! :U

Edited November 14, 2010 by gato

[Scar]

Mine finally arrived.

It is awesome.

I don't know what he means by lag, because when I played it using Wii-nunchuck format, Sonic started turning as soon as moved the analogue stick.

Control at low speed could be a little finnicky, but more stable than HD Unleashed. Control at high speeds was better than Unleashed HD and boosting was given a managable speed, where you could actually turn, instead of just continuing dead straight like Unleashed HD. I really does behave like a better version of Unleashed HD in every way.

Only niggle is that they changed his jump physics slightly, so that where he would have started decending in his arc in Unleashed, he continues upwards a little, kinda like a double jump, but its preprogrammed in the normal jump. Takes a bit getting used to but not horrifyingly bad. Level design couldn't really get much better given the style the game is working with.

Overall thus far its an 9/10 for me. Difficulty isn't cheap in the slightest.

EDIT:

BTW; does anyone know (or even remember) when Dreadknux's reveiw for Spong will come out if it hasn't already.

I'm sure that that score will bump up the Metacritic ratings a tad.

Edited November 14, 2010 by Scar

[Spooky Mulder]

Now why would Dtoid give Sonic Colours a 4.5/10?! I don't mean to be a fanboy, but isn't that too harsh of a review?

See the last several pages for your answer.

[Badnik Zero]

Hee hee. It's pretty much his own review rewritten with him in mind. I'm glad you guys like it, you can post it around if you want.

[Carbo]

EDIT:

BTW; does anyone know (or even remember) when Dreadknux's reveiw for Spong will come out if it hasn't already.

I'm sure that that score will bump up the Metacritic ratings a tad.

Spong doesn't go on MetaCritic

[Dark Qiviut]

Review: Jim Sterling and his Shitty Sonic Colors Review

It's strange to think that with the same title that garnered the 8 and 9 scores fans wanted, it was a blogger with an audience that rated Sonic Colors a 4.5 out of 10. Jim Sterling despite his status as a reviewer, complete with a focus on writing things on the internet, shows little understanding of genre, fun games, or not being a douchebag.

All I have to ask is... why do people still listen to fucking Jim Sterling?

At first his review appears to be levelheaded. By acknowledging Sonic Colors as an improvement over Sonic's last release, Jim breezes through his first few paragraphs without putting his foot in his goddamn mouth. It truly convinces readers that Jim is not a terrible miser sloughing away on a typewriter in a dark room.

Then come the indefensible complaints... problems figuring out the games he plays... use of many ellipses... and as a whole a review so badly prepared for, you'd think he spent six minutes with the demo version of the game at E3. Then you realize this review could've been written by a thirteen year old with a learning disability.

The simple fact of the matter is this - Sonic Colors - I mean Jim Sterling is a bad reviewer. He is not informative, inventing things to complain about, like physics, which he should probably take a crash course in or at least consult Wikipedia about. Whoever works at Destructoid, they just don't have a clue what's wrong with their editor.

This is compounded by the fact that Jim Sterling insists that he's not a massive wart on the ass of online video game reviews. He simply isn't equipped for both being a troll and getting paid for it, and the abhorrent way in which Jim dismisses valid criticism demonstrates this fact over and over again. The review floats "mystically" from one poor example of a flaw no one else experiences to another, making believing this blogger next to impossible. The review possesses an "otherworldly" amount of hyperbole that one has to get used to before he could use it in any decision making processes. And this is all before we get to all the dickriders hanging out on Destructoid.

First of all, don't even read this review. This piece requires a strong tolerance for bullshit to even approach readable. Secondly, however much bullshit you can chew on, the review is still absurd. For instance, he finds a way to explain how Sonic's automated homing attack doesn't work for him. Sometimes the review requires sheer fortitude on the reader's part not to comment on Destructoid about how Sterling is a mess. There are sections where Sterling must quickly zip from left to right while running along a path. Of course he can't figure this out because his fat fingers are probably not fit for a standard video game controller. He'll let you guess just how great that feels.

Fortunately, Sterling at least gets some enjoyable moments thinking about how furious people will get over this. Professional trolls are usually the worst reviewers, but he is such a smug fucker that he is actually legitimately fun to watch work, helped by the fact that Sterling's attitude is probably fueled by a deep seated sexual frustration. Of course this review isn't mandatory to make an informed purchase, an assumption far from the truth. It seems Destructoid expects you to visit their site over and over until you begin to agree with them. Unfortunately the site is such a farce of journalism that you'll be angry you navigated their hackneyed site layout once, let alone multiple times.

The frustrating part is that at times, Jim Sterling truly appreciates a video game. Several of his reviews are notable for not being tripe. He finds a perfect mix between criticism and knowing what the hell he's doing. His Twitter is also fairly tolerable, and Sterling seems to have a better time when not getting paid to run his mouth. Just an affable idiot with a terrible sense of humor. It seems however, the more comfortable and well-fed he gets, the less he gives a crap, and every instance of integrity soon gives way to the same sorry, against the grain posture we've witnessed a dozen times before. The problems are exactly the same, and his reviews are just as bad as always.

Score: 4.5 - The Fuck is This Shit (4 scored reviews have some fair points, but they soon give way to ego, incompetence, trolling, and generally confusing views on the game in question. Not the worst writing, but are difficult to recommend to anyone who isn't trying to wank to a low score on a Sonic the Hedgehog title.)

*claps* Bravo! This review of a review deserves a reward on here! Well done! I wish I could post it on the Sega Forums, but I'd be modded for posting a link with excessive swearing.

I can't pos-rep you tonight, 'cause my cap's full, but I'll give one to you tomorrow.

EDIT: Privileges back up! +1 to Dabnikz.

Edited November 14, 2010 by Dark Qiviut

[Gamerguy21]

*Jim Sterling review.*

Haha wow, that's possibly the greatest thing I've seen all day. Seriously, someone needs to find some way to get that in the DToid comment box, or at least send it to Sterling.

Edited November 14, 2010 by gamerguy21

[Sami]

Hey, does anyone still have that picture of Sonic running through the picture of the cycle? The one with the running or the one with the boxart are both fine.

I'm planning on putting it in my review. It's all I have left to do.

[Gamerguy21]

Hey, does anyone still have that picture of Sonic running through the picture of the cycle? The one with the running or the one with the boxart are both fine.

I'm planning on putting it in my review. It's all I have left to do.

Take your pick.

[Sami]

Sweet, thanks. I used the first one.

All that's left now is rendering.

On my good computer, I think it would take about fifteen minutes, but that's been sent for repairs. On this one, I'd say you guys should expect to see it in an hour or two.