TRANSFORMERS!

[Johnny Boy]

Waaaaaait.

Are critics actually whining that the Transformers have a personality now? Or am I misunderstanding?

What is this I don't even. So let me get this straight, people have been complaining for years on end about how the humans make the robots background characters in their own movie. Now Bay has actually listened to those complaints and puts the focus on the robots this time and all of a sudden that's a problem?

*sighs*

[Jack / Joker]

It would do us a solid if Michael Bay could just GO AWAY.

 

I'm not even talking about his skill as a director, but let's be honest, no Transformers film with his name trailing off of it is going to do well critically, even if it really, truly is good. He's just... too hated.

 

It won't instantly solve every problem, but it could start a long road to our favourite tin men not being the laughing stock of cinemas worldwide.

[Spin Attaxx]

In lighter news, James "AVGN" Rolfe looks at the G1 cartoon and lists the Top 10 most "WTF" moments.

 

EDIT: He also did one for the most awesome ones.

[...]

Got back from seeing Age of Extinction... To be honest, I disliked a majority of it. It's still ripe with racial stereotypes and girls in skimpy outfits all over the place, along with paper-thin characterization and a nonsensical plot. Through near the 3 hours this film lasted, it just really gave me no joy to experience. Even the Dinobots are drastically underused, and they are pretty awesome whenever they're on screen. Even with me not liking most of the film, there were some legitimately funny moment, a select few action scenes were good, and Mark Wahlberg along with Stanley Tucci gave some darn fine performances. The 3D is also impressive for the most part, if you're thinking of seeing it that way.

I wasn't really expecting much from this film, and still came away unimpressed. I even sorta liked Dark of the Moon better than this, but that's not saying much. In short, even with a few redeeming factors, I found this to be a major waste of time. Unless you're really curious, don't bother. You're not missing out on much.

[Lady Soniko]

It's actually worse than Revenge of the Fallen.

 

They managed to do worse, even with the inclusion of the Dinobots and Galvatron.

 

Something is seriously wrong with Bay and his ability to make an actual decent movie with a beloved franchise he's already bastardized. I didn't expect this movie to fall to...that movie's level of barrel scraping...

[...]

It's actually worse than Revenge of the Fallen.

 

They managed to do worse, even with the inclusion of the Dinobots and Galvatron.

 

Something is seriously wrong with Bay and his ability to make an actual decent movie with a beloved franchise he's already bastardized. I didn't expect this movie to fall to...that movie's level of barrel scraping...

I think AoE's terrible, but I wouldn't go as far to say it's on the level of an unholy abomination like Revenge of the Fallen. It's better on the virtue alone that it lacks Shia LaBeouf screaming "OPTIMUSSS!!!!!!!!!" all the time, and no Transformers humping Megan Fox's leg...

and let us not forget the robo-testicles.

[Lady Soniko]

All Bay has done is replaced the main human protagonists and made the action sequences longer and more of a clusterfuck. Hell most of the critics said it's a test of endurance to sit through an hour's worth of robot action and that it has no story because Bay makes you forget it in favour of MORE action.

 

Just, as a Transformer fan I just can't watch this horrible, horrible man ruin the franchise for me. First Activision shitting all over High Moon's incredible Transformer games, to the movie scene completely stripping any form or reason as to why you should get into the series at this point.

 

Just, fuck. FUCK.

[...]

All Bay has done is replaced the main human protagonists and made the action sequences longer and more of a clusterfuck. Hell most of the critics said it's a test of endurance to sit through an hour's worth of robot action and that it has no story because Bay makes you forget it in favour of MORE action.

Just, as a Transformer fan I just can't watch this horrible, horrible man ruin the franchise for me. First Activision shitting all over High Moon's incredible Transformer games, to the movie scene completely stripping any form or reason as to why you should get into the series at this point.

Just, fuck. FUCK.

I was nowhere as much as a Transformers fanatic as I was when I was younger, but I agree with everything you said. I can easily sympathize. The way Bay has just basically tossed aside any sort of character for both the robots AND humans just so he can put his action wet dreams on screen is pathetic, does no justice to the characters or the source material, and is just really awful filmmaking. Bay's not a filmmaker, he's a profiteer. All he sees in this franchise is money and even more opportunities for more money, the worst part is that basically everybody's flocking to see these in droves.

[Gabz Girl]

Why am I not surprised to find out this is yet another horrible Transformers flick? =D Hell I even found out this one has swearing Autobots in it! That's pathetic.

 

Funny thing is, I actually quite enjoyed the first one! It still had some really lame moments and way too much focus on the human characters but it was...entertaining, you know? And it didn't drag on for hours, you know? And it didn't have a whole bunch of Autobots and Decepticons who look exactly the same fighting eachother for God knows how long in some special effects clusterfuck, you know?!

 

Michael Bay is the worst, him and his product placement and explosions.

[Blue Wisp]

And it didn't have a whole bunch of Autobots and Decepticons who look exactly the same

See, this part of the criticism I don't get. I get all the other stuff about explosions, lack of story, lack of characterization, racism, all you want. But...

 

 

How do they look exactly the same?

 

The only Transformers that look the same are Bumblebee and Stinger, but that's on purpose. And besides, you say that as if the G1 Transformers didn't have clones. Cliffjumper and Bumblebee were the exact same robots bodywise. Hell, back in Animated, we had this: 

 

 

They're all official characters. 

[Gabz Girl]

See, this part of the criticism I don't get. I get all the other stuff about explosions, lack of story, lack of characterization, racism, all you want. But...

 

 

How do they look exactly the same?

 

The only Transformers that look the same are Bumblebee and Stinger, but that's on purpose. And besides, you say that as if the G1 Transformers didn't have clones. Cliffjumper and Bumblebee were the exact same robots bodywise. Hell, back in Animated, we had this: 

 

 

They're all official characters. 

 

There are a few Bayformers Autobots who do look unique yes, like Optimus and Bumblebee. But, take a good look at most of the Decepticons. You can hardly tell which is which because they're all the same, dull black and grey colours. They aren't very unique!

[VO.SUPER]

No matter how much any of you complain, Bay is just raking in the dough. On the plus side, more cartoons are on the way to fill the fun gap in the transformers line.

[Blue Wisp]

There are a few Bayformers Autobots who do look unique yes, like Optimus and Bumblebee. But, take a good look at most of the Decepticons. You can hardly tell which is which because they're all the same, dull black and grey colours. They aren't very unique!

Well for the first trilogy, yeah. The Decepticons usually were way more than the Autobots, and most of them were rather black or silver. Sure, I can understand the colours due to dark = evil thing but they didn't get any personality to them so yeah, I kind of see what you talk about now.

 

Still, we've only got one "true" Decepticon in AoE so...

[Killtank]

 

Funny thing is, I actually quite enjoyed the first one! It still had some really lame moments and way too much focus on the human characters but it was...entertaining, you know? And it didn't drag on for hours, you know? 

 

What I don't understand for the life of me is that these movies have to be in excess of 160 minutes on average. These films would be much more tolerable if it didn't feel like small eternity from beginning to end. I could, at least, bear to see them again if it weren't for the innumerable scenes with Sam's insufferable family. I'm not very happy with the fact that Bay made the Transformers secondary characters in their own movie franchise. Was that abysmal attempt at comedy with the Witwickys really necessary in a movie about fighting robots from outer space? 

 

I'm not eager to see AoE, but I'm sure it won't break away from tradition and tell and a decent, coherent story. They all have so much many that could have easily been edited from the final cut. These movies are obnoxious. It's like everything Bay puts to film with these characters is a constant, unrelenting assault on the eyes and ears. I like action movies, so I understand the desire to blow stuff up for its own sake. However, you can only go so far without looking like a parody of your former self. There is no reason for any of these films to be two-and-a-half hours long. At that point it's just a case study in excess. 

 

The most horrific phrase in the English language: Michael Bay's Director's Cut 

[Lady Soniko]

So just read the plot for this and... holy shit what?

 

Actually what? Did some professional screen writer WRITE this, or was it ripped from bad fanfiction.net?

 

I think I might have to see this to see how bad it actually is.

[jords]

Lol I actually enjoyed the action. 

I just wish the cast was the same because I liked the main character.

[...]

So just read the plot for this and... holy shit what?

 

Actually what? Did some professional screen writer WRITE this, or was it ripped from bad fanfiction.net?

 

I think I might have to see this to see how bad it actually is.

 

 

"Hey! You can't search my farm without a warrant!"

 

 

"My face is the warrant."

 

Yes, this is an actual piece of writing from the movie. I shit you not.

[SenEDDtor Missile]

So just read the plot for this and... holy shit what?

 

Actually what? Did some professional screen writer WRITE this, or was it ripped from bad fanfiction.net?

 

I think I might have to see this to see how bad it actually is.

 

Considering the screenwriter wrote the script for Revenge of the Fallen and Dark of the Moon, is that surprising?

[Casshern]

I actually quite enjoyed Age of Extinction.

 

**** me, right?

[Blue Wisp]

 

"Hey! You can't search my farm without a warrant!"

 

 

"My face is the warrant."

 

Yes, this is an actual piece of writing from the movie. I shit you not.

bahaha

what

 

That made me chuckle I'll admit, the movie sounds goofy.

[Mando-Whirl-Wind]

I actually quite enjoyed Age of Extinction.

 

**** me, right?

I actualy enjoyed it as well, definately not high art, but it kept the toilet humor to a minimum, and I'll put it on the same level as the first, if not high because the humans were actualy USEFUL this time, and the dinobots weren't bad

 

I'll put it on the same level as any 80's B-movie action flick, just some fun mostly mindless fun

[Johnny Boy]

I was waiting to post my thoughts until I saw other people that liked it. Lol.

I really enjoyed the hell out of this one. The goofball humor is kept on an extremely tight leash this time around, the story is more centered around the robots (which is something I've been begging for since the first film), and the human characters are actually tolerable in this film. Well scratch that, there is one annoying douchebag that's the best friend of Mark Wahlbergs character but thankfully

Lockdown brutally kills him off. Yay!

[Casshern]

I was pretty disappointed with how Galvatron was handled in this movie, honestly. They pretty much just introduced him so he could be the villain of the next installment.

[Johnny Boy]

I was pretty disappointed with how Galvatron was handled in this movie, honestly. They pretty much just introduced him so he could be the villain of the next installment.

Well at least he's (finally) voiced by Frank Welker this time around.

[Mania Pipe]

I already know that I'm not gonna force myself to sit through Bayformers 4: Age of Explosions. So instead, I want to guess about how the film plays out without looking at the entire plot synposis or seeing any reviews. But I will still keep it in spoiler tags, so here goes nothing:

 

The film starts with Optimus Prime doing a narration YET AGAIN, title screen pops up, humans discover ancient plot device, we get a opening action sequence with EXPLOSIONS, we meet our human characters that take up 85% of the film instead of the Autobots and Decepticons, constant breast and ass shots of women wearing tight outfits, an hour and a half loaded with unfunny, misogynist, racist, immature and dudebro humor, annoying as fuck characters taking the spotlight instead of Optimus Prime, the Decepticons try to get their hands on plot mcguffin, the human characters that we don't care about or like get into all the action, the Autobots reunite at the end and have a gigantic clusterfuck fight in a city against the Depepticons, annoying as fuck characters say stupid more shit, MOAR EXPLOSIONS and SLOW-MO, and Optimus Prime ends the movie with another speech about protecting humanity, THE END.

 

So, do I get a cookie?

 

EDIT: Nevermind.

Edited June 30, 2014 by Omega Pipe