30 Days of Video Games

[Conando]

Least favorite side character:

Oerba Dia Vanille

It was close between Hope and Vanille. They're both incredibly annoying and fucking stupid characters. Hell, most of FF XIII is filled with either pointless characters or annoying as shit ones. Only 2 I cared for were Lightning and Sazh. Anyway, Vanille is pretty much everything I hate about JRPGs. The token dopey energetic girl with the annoying voice that does stupid shit just because, it's just so cute! I know she stops being as stupid as the game goes by but, I don't care. I'd say more but, it'd just be a string of curses.

Edit: *Looks at Solly's post* That's a guy? Goddamnit, Japan.

Edited February 5, 2012 by Crow T. Robot

[Starman Swift]

Day 21 - Least Favorite Character

Montezuma - Civilization and Miriam Godwinson - Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri

Damn your smug faces.

There is a special place in hell for the AI of these two leaders. Both of them are pretty much the same, so I'll talk about both of them. Technologically deficient morons who will go to war with you for the dumbest reasons, or no reason at all. They just don't like you. Monte "You give Uranium for Fish" zuma and Miriam "Give me your research or I'll kill you" Godwinson are also incredibly greedy. They also aren't particularly fun to fight against, their strategies usually being swarms of lower-tier units and swarms of fanatically religious lower-tier units respectively.

Runners Up:

Cedric - Kings Quest 5

Everything about this owl radiates an aura of unhelpfulness. His annoying verbal tic and voice, the fact that he is too scared to even enter some areas, and above all, the fact that he is always too late when trying to help you. Some examples:

Graham walks off the edge of a cliff

"WOOOOO GRAHAM DON'T GET TOO CLOSE"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

Graham pulls off from shore in a small boat

"WOOO GRAHAM THERE'S A HOLE IN THE BOAT"

The boat sinks and Graham drowns

Madagascar, Cuba, etc. - Pandemic 2

So the goal here is to infect and kill everyone eh? Well in order to get into a country you need some way in... A port or an an airport, for instance. Madagascar has one, Cuba has two. Both of them, Madagascar especially, love to close their ports right at the start, rendering the game unwinnable.

Edited February 5, 2012 by Swift

[Emmett L. Brown]

But on the plus side, he IS voiced by Stephen Fry.

He's got a great voice actor, that's true. Makes you wonder if the reason the plot writers have their lips firmly locked around Reaver's penis for two whole games is just to avoid upsetting Stephen Fry. I gotta think Mr Fry is decent enough to recognise what an irredeemable monster his character is and be happy to see him get his comeuppance. I hate this guy so much I honestly bought Fable III just to pursue the possibility of killing Reaver. Instead, no matter which direction I go in the morality system Reaver cashes out and makes a greasy comment. I'm King of Albion! I executed my brother; I should be able to execute the sub-human lump of pus who's already proven himself a far bigger prick than Loghain and Lucien combined. For god's sake, I should at least be able to ruin his day just ONCE!

It takes a special kind of hate to make me willing to pay money just to be able to kill a fictional character. If Fable IV is advertised as the game where you can finally make Reaver pay for all his dickery in the last two games, then consider me sold. I don't even care what else happens in the game, just let finally wipe that turd off my screen.

I really don't like Reaver.

[#EndyGate]

The fucking Magikarp Salesman - Several Pokemon Games

He's mainly here due to the fact that I actually fell for the cheeky bastards ruse first time around, but I was too stupid to realize that it evolved into one of the best water types at the time :V

Honorable Mentions:

Every damsel in distress that adds nothing to the game other than being the hero's love

[Indigo Rush]

He's incredibly annoying.

He's not a good Grim Reaper.

.

I CAN NOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME MANAGE TO KILL HIM.

Wait, whoops, I almost forgot!

[Sean]

Day 21: Least favorite video game character

I fucking hate every member of the Freaky Monkey Five from the Ape Escape games.

Nearly every single one of these boss battles is extremely tedious and not fun. They weren't particularly hard to figure out, but they dragged on way too much, and you have to put up with their incessant dialogue every other second. The bosses in AE1, few as they may have been, were honestly pretty cool despite not having any personality attached to them. Fighting a giant suit of armor in the medieval era and a killer UFO on top of a tower is much more preferable than having to face these douchebags. I only played through the sequel games once each, and I still dreaded having to face the FM5 because the game plays them up to be the most annoying pieces of shit in the universe.

All of them have generic character archetypes, and nothing creative is done with them whatsoever. They try incredibly hard to be amusing and clever, but everything they said just made me want to punch them in the faces. I hate Pink the most because her songs are fucking horrible to sit through. I hate looking at them; their character designs are just wretched. I can't remember a thing they said or did that made me smirk once - I wanted to kick their asses and move on with the game.

I can not figure out for the life of me why the developers had to bring them back in the third game and make them even more teeth-grating than ever. Of all the "least favorite x" categories in the 30 days topic so far, there has not been one that made me loathe it with my every fiber until this one, and I can't really come up with an objective reason as to why I find them terrible other than they hit all the wrong buttons with me in perfect synchronization. There's not a single redeeming thing about the FM5. Fuck their boss battles, fuck their character designs, and fuck them.

[Soniman]

Tingle - The Fucking Con

This fucker almost ruined Wind Waker for me. Not only was the Triforce Quest annoying, tedious, and repetitive, but you had to go to this fucker and pay him 300 rupees to decipher a chart, FIVE times. That basically rounds up to 1700 Ruppees in total that you have to pay him, and this is REQUIRED to progress through the game. t's total bullshit, why couldn't there just be another dungeon? Instead ive gotta put up with this asshole?

That's nothing to say about his character, which is awful and incredibly annoying. He comes off as a creepy sumg asshole with delusions of grandeur. Fuck this character.

And THIS is the guy got his own TWO games in Japan? What the fuck?

[Gregzilla]

Day 21 - Least favorite character

Easy. Peasy.

Princess Elise from Sonic '06 - *shudder.* This stupid bimbo represents everything I hate about the Sonic games between ShtH and Black Knight. She is boring, idiotic, does nothing, ugly, and worst of all, completely unfitting for a Sonic game. Seriously, if you showed the opening of the game to someone unfamiliar with it, they would probably guess it was Final Fantasy or something. Trying to make people and locations in Sonic realistic is just a bad idea. Remember when Sonic was about running around and saving critters from robots? At the time, Sega didn't! She is a part of this whole apocalyptic prophecy that involves an interdimensional superbeing and crying releases it. Are we supposed to believe this girl never cried from the moment her dad died up until she is this age? Terrible storytelling. I just hate when realistic humans are put in as sidekicks in this series. Sharha is terrible too, but not as much. Elise is just annoying from start to finish, and is a part of the absolute worst romance I have ever seen in a video game. Thank god the stories never got this needlessly complicated or stupid after this monstrosity.

Runners Up:

Every character from Metroid:Other M. Including Samus: Samus's bitchy thumbs-down thing can be directly applied here. You got an excrutiatingly boring protagonist, an asshole of a former commanding officer, uninteresting teammates, two women who have the same name that leads to the most uninteresting antagonist in the series by a longshot, stupid scientists, and Anthony Higgs. Anthony wasn't that bad, but everyone else is absolutely, positively, 100% garbage.

Hell, even Ridley is less cool. He is a clone, so you don't feel that personal vendetta towards him like you do for the real thing. Unless somehow he has the same mind and soul as the original, in which case that was yet another thing Nintendo explained poorly.

[MykonosFan]

DAY 21 - LEAST FAVORITE CHARACTER FROM A VIDEO GAME

Salsa. From Eternal Sonata.

Her completely random accent annoys me. Not even her own sister shares Salsa's weird accent. She's loud. She talks quite a bit. She doesn't contribute too much to the overall story. She's not that great of a fighting character. She argues with almost everything. And really, that's all I feel the need to say. Eternal Sonata is a mighty fine game with a great style, but Salsa is the one rotten apple in the basket for me.

Edited February 5, 2012 by Mykonos

[Danj86]

Least Favourite? Crumbs...that's a very hard one...

I don't hate Princess Peach, I would consider her more as a minor annoyance.

Silver is okay in my book too.

There are several annoying characters in the Ace Attorney series, but they also bring with them a different brand of humour, and often the best part is Phoenix or Edgeworths reaction to them.

Haven't played King of Fighters 13 yet, although the character of Ash never really got my interest.

...okay...I think I've got one...but it's another Disgaea character, which is a major surprise to me because I always love what Nippon Itchi brings to the tables...

Disgaea 2: Cursed Memories: Adell

...well...after playing Afternoon of Darkness and being basked in the glory that was Laharl, the sequels protagonist was...what's the polite way to put it? ...sh*t in comparison...

Thanks to the first game, Disgaea came to be known as a series that stars an anti-hero. A character that isn't all goodie goodie. That trend returns in 3 with Mao and 4 with Valvatorez, but with 2...you get Adell. Who seems to have stepped out of the cliche bargain bin. Saving a princess (although technically it started as kidnapping) saving his cursed family and beating up an evil demon overlord. (Not Laharl, although he does show up later to kick some arse)

His never give up, always keep a promise attitude is an admirable trait, but it often comes with catchphrases that will quickly get annoying. And lets face it, he's always looking for a reason to jump into a fight, an aspect of his character mention by the supporting cast, yet strenuously denied by him.

Even more sinful then all that I've mention is the sad fact that he is the only protagonist in the Disgaea series that doesn't seem to have his own theme song, complete will lyrics.

Laharl has Ode to Laharl/Lord Laharl's Hymn

Mao has Onward Mao!

Valvatorez has Arcadian Vampire

Someone really dropped the ball on that one. But even if he did have one, it wouldn't be as good as the other three, simply because they are superior to him in every other way...

[Sean]

BUT ADELL JUST AIN'T YOUR STYLE.

My problem with Disgaea 2's main character, antagonist, and storyline is that they were the very same things that the original Disgaea was parodying to hell and back. And they were taken absolutely dead seriously. I don't hate them as much as I used to, but Adell and the gang are really as generic as they come.

[Emmett L. Brown]

Gotta give Disgaea 2 points for

having the main character, damsel and villain ALL be the opposite of what they think they are. Unfortunately, that twist is introduced so late that the damage is already done. Still, I appreciate the constant lampshading

[Carbo]

Who the fuck is this douchebag and why is he in my BlazBlue

Carl Clover from BlazBlue is the very definition of obnoxious, whiny, pretentious, hypocritical and pathetic; all at once. Go and look up "Internet tough guy". Yeah, that's basically him in a nutshell.

It's obvious he has a motive, I mean, in BlazBlue everyone has motives for whatever it is they're doing. Whereas Hazama however is a fantastic jerk because that's the way his personality is and he does so with gusto because of his sociopathic nature, Carl acts like a jerk because he thinks it makes him cool, and thankfully it more than often ends up with him getting the snot beat out of him. Playing through his campaign you have no idea how much the bad endings for him satisfied me.

Not to mention he hides behind his stupid fucking sister who's been made into a puppet by his dad because she's super powerful and shit, and she's the one who does most of the fighting for him. He acts like a tough guy on the outside, but in his story mode when you have to go through fighting Rachel, she disables Nirvana ("OMG DON'T CALL HER THAT") and Carl starts whining like a bitch.

everything he does;

WAH WAH, SIS, SIS, DON'T CALL HER THAT, I WILL HURT YOU, OMG SIS THIS WILL BE FUN WON'T IT HEH I'M A BADASS LOOK AT MY STARE AND CLASSY POSE, CHILD'S PLAY etc.

SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU CLAP-LOOP FUCKER

But no, it's obvious that this guy really has a PURE SOUL and that him being the only character still connected to reality in the group of vigilantes in BlazBlue means he is obviously destined for some kind of greatness. Who the fuck comes up with this shit anyway? I say skin his ass and vote Bang Shishigami for President 2012.

[Sami]

Day 21 - Least Favorite Character

Kill him. Wrench out his intestines, choke him to death with them, and light him on fire. This pretentious, annoying, whiny little prat is probably the most awful thing to have ever plagued a video game. Hope Estheim. I utterly despise this kid. I only ever played about eleven hours of Final Fantasy XIII, and in those eleven hours I bared witness to this sniveling little douchebag whine and whine about how hopeless his situation is, cry about how much his life sucks, refuse to grow a pair of balls and actually confront Snow about the death of his mother, and run away from monsters to allow the girls to do the fighting for him (nope, not even joking here. Lightning and Vanille are far more capable of fighting than Hope). There isn't a single likable trait in this abomination of fiction.

I might have actually enjoyed Final Fantasy XIII if more than three of the cast members were even remotely likable. Unfortunately, that isn't the case. Hope is one of the many factors that bogs down a potentially great game.

[gato]

Day 21 - Least favorite character.

Another really short post due to time constraints.

And another surprisingly hard choice since I store large amounts of hate. >_>

For the sake of not being repetitive with most of the choices so far I'll go with...

Command and Conquer Red Alert 3 - Kenji Tenzai.

Look at that smug bastard... One of the most famous members of the Empire of the Rising Sun, Kenji is an arrogant twat that uses the most sophisticated weapons of the empire to crush his oponents.

I don't mind an arrogant commander, but the thing is... He sucks... Every time he is in battle he will most likely be the first one to get his ass kicked (a fate often shared with Allied commander Lissette), if he is your ally he will beg for help like a sissy and if you beat him he will just belittle you because "he has friends, you know?" (>Implying foreveralone.jpg?). Of course this might change in harder settings (I don't remember ever going beyond "hard") but from my experience, he is just a gloating kid who can't back up his words.

Not to mention he has one of the most annoying missions I've ever played in the Commanders Challenge mode (the one with the "nanocores", but for reasons beyond me I never got to far in Uprising so I bet there must be more frustrating missions beyond that one).

Too many dis-honorable mentions to list again, but most of my hate go to Young Geese, Dark Ash and "the lovable" Igniz from The king of Fighters, and that whiny bitch Ashley Graham from Resident Evil 4, I've heard MOME from PSO is also quite hated but I only got to play BB where he seems to be way less prone to dying (he actually makes you the favor of "killing himself" to avoid getting killed by De Rol Le).

[Covskin]

This character pretty much sums up why I struggle to fully enjoy Telltale Games' output. She is a vapid prop, deviod of depth or any real personality.

Throughout Series 1, she changes job every episode. She's not funny, but the different job is an excuse to give you the random item that will solve an unrelated puzzle. Series 2 and 3 see her almost disappear. When she is around, she's irrelevant, just highlighting how pointless she's always been.

Telltale just can't seem to make an original, interesting character. They're great at putting their own spin on established characters (can't fault their portrayals of Sam, Max, Guybrush etc.), but can't match it with their own creations. Plus, to be honest, I still dislike the whole episodic format, its far too constricting for an adventure game.

[Kamicciolo]

Day #21 - Kami's Revoltingly Rotten "Ninjashark's characters re-enact Shakespeare in comparison" Least Favourite Video Game Character

Mephiles the Dark, a true abomination of a character from a true abomination of a game (fitting really). I can find absolutely no worthwhile or redeeming qualities in the character, not from his design (the standard form being nothing but a blatant copy and paste of Shadow's design, which was too close to Sonic's in the first place, with the crystal form just turning the rehash down a tad while turning the ugly and unfitting up about 11 notches), nor from his non-existent personality (seriously...there's nothing to him besides over the top evil laughter :I).

His entire plan and motivation throughout his single appearance is also completely stupid (setting one guy up to kill someone else...and creepily hanging around the guy he's impersonating...real brilliant plan there) only to later asspull the entire Solaris stuff "falling into place" so that an end of the world situation and Super boss fight can be justified. Through all this however, Mephiles somehow still manages to be considered "the" main villain of the game.

His defining scene also earns my hatred for him too, more in the sense that it really angry ups my blood that Sega and/or Sonic Team would actually have the gal to have this new no-name villain spring from nowhere and effortless kill their main hero (who's game the character in question appeared in was meant to celebrate 15 years of...). It's the kind of thing you expect to find in really bad Fanfiction...

Dishonourable Mention

Wolf in Super Smash Bros Brawl and Honey Bee in Mario Kart 7 - While I don't have anything against these characters by themselves, I hate that in the games they appeared in they've hogged spaces that woulda been better used by another character.

In Brawl, we didn't need three Star Fox characters, particularly when they're all partial clones of each other, especially when you consider that there's other series more deserving of representation, like the F-Zero and Metroid series. Seriously, it made no sense to include the third character at all...

Honey Bee is just a horrible choice in general for Mario Kart 7. Honestly, who would have looked at her in Galaxy and said "I wanna kart race as her!", especially at the expense of series regulars like Waluigi or Bowser Jr., or better options for new faces like Boom Boom or even a Goomba.

The Soldier (TF2) - ...I'm not an Englishman in a dress... >:I

Edited February 5, 2012 by Kamicciolo

[Arcade Racer CC14]

Oh, have I got a good one for this category:

Flame Hyenard (Mega Man X7)

Do I even have to say why this guy is the most annoying character in existence? Okay, if you insist...

BURN! BURN! BURN TO DA GROUND! BURN! BURN! BURN TO DA GROUND!

BURN! BURN! BURN TO DA GROUND! BURN! BURN! BURN TO DA GROUND!

BURN! BURN! BURN TO DA GROUND! BURN! BURN! BURN TO DA GROUND!

Try putting up with THAT for an entire boss battle. You'll be questioning what Zero's fighting for, too.

[SuperStingray]

I've never really thought that much about the characters I dislike. Perhaps because I repress them so much. But if we're going to have to go with someone...

Other M Samus

I know I'm not original in saying this, but I'm a huge frackin' fan of the Metroid series, and the awesomeness of the protagonist is a large reason for that. So Samus' "development" in Other M wasn't just bad, it was betraying. First off, I don't mind the zero suit. Some people say it makes her look like a slut, but being sexy and being a good female character aren't mutually exclusive, and frankly, it's practical. So I have no problems with that.

But I do have problems everywhere else. For starters, why couldn't Nintendo have just stuck with Jeniffer Hale? She's a good voice actress, yet all we got out of her in the Prime games were grunts and screams. Talk about wasted talent. But her replacement... I can tolerate even mediocre voice acting, but oh my god, this was awful. At least House of the Dead 2's voices have character, but Samus couldn't even give us that with her droney monologues.

Second, when I saw the trailer to this game, I was excited to hear Adam say "Any Objections, Lady?" because I could tell from that that the creators had a good sense of the Metroid canon. Yet when I played the game, Samus' behavior seemed completely oblivious to her past. She said this is the first time she ever worked with the Federation since she left them, completely ignoring Metroid Prime 3. And when she saw Ridley, she acted so surprised and had to be whisked away despite thsi being their FIFTH fucking encounter. There are more canon issues, but I'd prefer to stick to the ones involving her character, since that's the point of this post.

Third, SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT THE BABY. We get it, there's a theme of motherhood. Samus adopted the hatchling Metroid and now feels guilty she couldn't protect it. This could have made for a very interesting pursuit if the theme wasn't hammered in so explicitly and tactlessly.

Lastly and most offensive of all was her relationship with Adam Malkovich. We've seen in Metroid Fusion that Samus is perfectly willing to disobey orders when she believes the mission is at stake if she obeys, yet in Other M she'd sooner let herself burn to death if Adam Malkovich doesn't tell her to put on her Varia Suit. The game as a whole romanticizes an unhealthy relationship; seeming to say being submissive to a cold and abusive father figure is a positive trait. When Adam shot her and deactivated her suit (?) Samus just lay there on the ground helpless, begging and pleading. Samus is supposed to be a strong character; she doesn't have to be completely stoic to be assertive and logical, yet here she is completely regressed to a little girl.

Really, if this was another franchise I would have dismissed the story as a whole. But this is just irresponsible and, would I ignore it as actual canon, it would have done irreperable damage to one of the greatest female characters in gaming. Yoshio Sakamoto's a great game designer, but I implore Nintendo to NEVER EVER let him write again.

Runners up: Elise (Sonic 06), Princess Peach post Super Mario Sunshine, Every baby character in Mario Kart Wii, Nathan Drake

Edited February 6, 2012 by SuperStingray

[Bria]

Day 21 - Least Favorite Character from a Video Game

Oh boy, I got this one for sure.

Pokey/Porky Minch from Mother 2/3

Warning: Contains Spoilers

I.hate.him.so.much. Normally the villain of the game doesn't get to me much but boy did Porky piss me off. His Mother 2 incarnation was annoying. He was a little bitch in the beginning of the game and quickly became a prick near the ending, constantly making fun of you and getting in your way towards the end. Worst of all, he manages to get away and piss you off even more in Mother 3 by screwing over Nowhere Islands by unleashing his Pigmask army, ruining the peaceful wildlife, worming his way into society and brainwashing everyone, and taking Claus and turning him into a killer cyborg. I wanted him to die in that game so effing badly. So I guess I'll chalk it up to Itoi Shigesato for making an antagonist that I actually really loathe. I'm not sure if Giygas was actually controlling him in Mother 2 or not, but I still really hated his character for all of the shit he did to Ness and Lucas. He's like the bastard that won't die, though I'm sure being stuck in an Absolutely Safe Capsule forever may be an even worse fate.

[Serperior]

This one is probably going to be poorly worded like all of my other posts here since this pick was one I had to come up with on the spot, since my primary pick, Elise, had everything I could say about them said already, and this category isn't something I usually think about when playing a game, so it's not something I can easily write about.

I know this might seem like an odd pick to some people, but I'm not too fond of Cream for a number of reasons. First off, I'm not a big fan of the kind of character that serves no purpose other than trying to look cute all of the time, and Cream is basically this ramped up to the extreme. (She even fails on that front to me.) There's nothing more to her than that, and because of that, her personality is really basic and uninteresting, not spanning much beyond her being polite ,scared of things and other really predictable traits from this trope. Her design is pretty overcomplicated as well, she has a lot of features on her design that look like they were added to prevent her from looking really bland, and she comes out looking like a jumbled mess in comparison to characters like Sonic and Tails, when characters that are trying to accomplish what she is usually benefit with a simpler design. I find her voice pretty irritating as well, I understand that it's fitting for her to have a really high pitched voice because of her age and all, but it still isn't something I can listen to for very long without being annoyed. I also don't like how she doesn't really contribute anything in any of her appearences, she never makes any major contributions to the plot, or do anything useful in general really. Heck, her story arc in Sonic Battle was about her being kidnapped. Her gameplay is never very fun either, since she always either breaks the game (Advance series) or is just boring to play as (Heroes, however the flying formation was pretty boring to play as on the whole, but she wasn't even fun when she was on her own.) She just feels like a really pointless addition to the series on the whole to me. She isn't the most useless addition, but she's up there.

Honourable mentions:

Any maverick from Mega Man X7: As previously stated (Indirectly), these guys are all really annoying. The combination of their annoying voices and the fact that they never shut up makes me want to gut whoever thought adding voice clips to a Mega Man boss like in this game was a good idea.

[Winston]

Day 21 - Least Favorite Character from a Video Game

I like almost all of them...except...

That Motherfucking Dog. (Duck Hunt)

YES, the first videogame character to actually be BAD. I despise this guy, if you don't get any ducks he just laughs at you and mocks you! AGH, it was a pain in the ass! (Mostly because I was in the mall and he was laughing at me, God Damn Dog, making me look bad in public.) If anyone were to call a dog stupid, I'd be very angry, except if someone called this dog stupid.

[Jeffhog]

Manfred von Karma - Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney

Oh how I LOATHE this son of a bitch.

All throughout the 4th case in Ace Attorney, this guy is an absolute asshole. He continuously cuts you off during your cross-examinations, he imposes his judgements onto the judge who submits to this, he steals your key evidence and electrocutes you with a stun gun on the eve of the last day in court, and tries to frame Edgeworth whose father he killed for tarnishing his otherwise perfect record...

Destroying and exposing this guy for who he is is a fucking satisfying feeling. It's just as Sean said.

For reasons already explained previously. This guy is an asshole beyond assholes. His threatening allure only comes across as antagonistic and he makes great use of it, but this guy is a bad seed that just pissed me off time after time within the 4th case.

RUNNER-UP

Redd White - Also from Phoenix Wright

Another despicable asshole. Kills your boss, pins it on her sister, king of blackmail and CEO of a company hellbent on controlling others: policemen, politicians, and other important figures.

Edited February 5, 2012 by VizardJeffhog

[Vertekins]

Least favorite character in a videogame.

Chronicles Sonic. STRICTLY CHRONICLES SONIC. This does NOT apply to Sonic in other games in the series. As you might know, Sonic in the rest of the series is my most adored fictional character of all time.

Oh Sonic...Sonic, Sonic, Sonic. what the hell did they do to you?

They morphed you from a loveable, mildly snarky on the odd occasion guy who could always keep his ego in check and who never ever goes beyond playful ribbing of his mates with no spite intended to a little prick who clearly derives satisfaction from bullying his mates and ripping strips off of them, exudes insecurity around Eggman to the point that he'll even do his nut and loudly chastise Tails just for having a little respect for his genius as well as a desire to show him advanced technology. He also has a sense of self entitlement so incredibly huge that he becomes offended when his alpha male status is questioned despite previous games in the series establishing that he doesn't make a point of being the big powerful leader and at no point has ever actually revelled in it.

This Sonic doesn't just offend me because he's so Out Of Character, this character is flat out dislikeable as a videogame character in general. But you say "It's not as if you have to pick those dialogue choices in a dialogue tree", the fact is, they're there and they're intact in all of their loathesomeness.

It's exactly as if he was written by someone who either has no real understanding of Sonic himself and therefore abides by the "negative dialogue option" rule down to the absolute wire with no regard for subtlety whatsoever. This Sonic is so abrasive, so utterly unlikeable and so amazingly off-kilter to what snarky Sonic really is that to me, it's a parody of the character and it's Sonic in name only. Horribly inconsistent characterization that doesn't mesh in with his other game portrayals anyway aside, I've never been more thankful that a Sonic game is non-canon partially because of this characterization. I'm thankful that Chronicles ain't canon otherwise because of it's continuity snarls and blatant "Did not do the research".

[Shane]

Canary Mary.

This... Jet fuel-farting bird-human...thing(?) who stores pages from a book in her you-know-what challenges you to races that involve tapping a button as fast as possible - however, the rubber-band physics during the race with her at Cloud Cuckooland are atrocious. As you can tell from reading the Facebook page, there's not much to like about her.

This race can get so bad that the creator of that Facebook page, an acquaintance from the DK Vine forums, used Rock Band drums in the Xbox 360 version of Banjo-Tooie in order to beat her. That's how bad it is.