GAME 58: SKYLANDERS TRAP TEAM (3DS): 100% COMPLETE

All levels completed, including Adventure Pack levels.

"Hold it!" I hear you say...

"Where's all the hats, and the 81st star, you FRAAAAUD?"

Well, first off, yes, I don't have nearly as many hats as the game lists. But they're not required for 100% completion, since getting them is just a matter of playing the same level over and over, opening random hat boxes. It's a needless grind with no rewards.

But yes, that 81st star. Where'd it go? Funny story.

So, to 100% complete levels in a Skylanders game, you need to get 3 stars. 1st star is just beating the level. 2nd star is completing level specific objectives. 3rd star is collectables.

The missing star is the 2nd star of the second last level. Why is it not here? Because of one specific level objective, completing three entire phases where you pilot a dragon through a series of obstacles and you DON'T TAKE DAMAGE. You take even a single hit, in any phase, and you gotta restart the whole 20 minute level. Oh, did I mention this is done with gyro controls?

So, yeah, it's hard. But it's not just hard, it's bugged. There are invisible hitboxes everywhere that can lead to an unfair failing of the objective. Furthermore, the dragon is supposed to have fireballs that seek out obstacles. It's ALSO bugged where it only seeks obstacles in the first phase only. I've tried every trick in the book for four hours. I tried switching to Skylanders with smaller hitboxes, I tried Trap Masters, I tried different configurations to hold the 3DS, nothing worked. Then, I went to Youtube.

NOBODY has done this objective. Some even claim as well that it is bugged. I discussed with Ryan how this should be approached and we both mutually agreed: "Screw it."

Thus, as far as I'm concerned, I completed this fucking game.

Let my current attitude be an indicator with how I feel about this game.

Because you know me, I'm the Skylanders guy. Can't get enough of 'em. Every game I have played in the series is good. Even Imaginators, while I rag on it I still think is a solid enough game. It's just a severe downgrade compared to the titles that came before it. Trap Team on consoles is one of my favorites in the series, even.

So believe me when I say that this game is...

This game SUCKS, bro. This game is lacking in any of the imagination, innovation, charm or polish that the Skylanders series is known for. It's a void of pure sleep-inducing boredom that's befitting of the plot that was written for it.

So let's run down the story briefly, well, what little there is. Which sucks cause it starts promising, taking cues from the Skylanders novels... but they hardly matter beyond the prologue.

While studying in the Eternal Archives, an endless expanse of books and the biggest source of information in Skylands, Hugo stumbles upon a book called "The Most Boring Book Ever." The title is just a cover up to dissuade inquiring minds from opening its cursed pages, but Hugo doesn't heed its warnings. Opening the book and falling into a deep sleep, the book is actually a gateway into a place called the Nightmare Realm.

When the book opens, the Nightmare Villains come pouring out, including their leader: The Dream Sheep.

Yes, our main antagonist is a fucking sheep.

The Dream Sheep casts a spell over all of Skylands, cursing everyone into an eternal sleep. Now you, Portal Master must summon your Skylanders to find the three Temples of Waking, ring their enchanted bells, enter the Nightmare Realm and end the Dream Sheep's dominion.

...Oh and uh, something about trapping villains, and Trap Masters and uh, something.

Yeah, so let's address that elephant in the room. You know the name. Skylanders TRAP Team. The whole gimmick of the game is to capture villains, make them good guys, and have them become playable characters. In the console versions, that is done through... well, Traps.

These mystical shards of Traptanium that can hold villains inside. It literally sucks bosses from the digital world into the real world. They talk to you in real life through a speaker, they bang on the crystal walls, comment on specific accomplishments you do, and can be tagged in at the push of a button. It's downright magical to see them interact with you, and experiment with different Skylander and Villain combos.

And so far, the 3DS games have done a great job making sure every toy on console works on handheld devices. Which makes me wonder, how will the Traps work in this game? There's exclusive villains to trap, maybe I can put them INTO my crystals, and then transport them to the console game? Or maybe vice-versa! I wonder what kind of awesome, exclusive villains we'll face! Oh, Trap Team 3DS, tell me, when can I use my Tra-

...What.

I-I can't use my Traps? But... But... That's the whole point of the goddamn game! How do I capture villains?

Oh, it's uh... through the touch screen. O-Okay! Okay, I can see why we can't use the traps. For a handheld game, it sure would be cumbersome to carry around so many traps mid-level for a capture sequence.

At least these new villains are awesome, right?

WATCH THIS CLIP FOR THEIR NAMES. CLIPS CANNOT BE EMBEDDED.

...You gotta be kidding. They're pruple recolors of generic enemies!? Some being recolors of Trappable enemies from the console games?! Is that the best you can come up with?

And what are these names?! Boris Blisterbottom? Russell Purplestache? BOBBIN ROOD?! Did the devs just get their six year olds to name these friggin' guys? They lack a lot of voice lines either, so I can't even be endeared to the stupid ones with any personality.

Okay, fine. Whatever. How do they play?

...They're summons.

They're summons?!

THEY'RE SUMMONS?!

You can't even PLAY as them?! Nope! They are glorified power ups you can call down using the touch screen, and they perform a useless AOE attack that is impossible to aim. And I'm not kidding. They only attack a small area, and it's absurdly difficult to control what direction they will spawn, meaning 9 times out of 10, they won't hit jack and shit. Only like, two villains are worth having at all times: Baron Von Smashbeak, or Marf Gargaroots, since they have a solid radial hitbox and can do decent damage.

Not that it matters cause my Skylanders will often make mincemeat of bad guys anyway before the villain has time to remind me they exist. Cause yeah, I keep on forgetting I can use villains in a game where using villains is the central focus.

Oh wait, I take it back. You CAN play as villains, but only in mandatory mini levels called Boot Camps, where your villain takes part in a minigame specifically made for their individual abilities. 

And these are by far the worst part of the game. There are rather strict objectives requiring you to play these Boot Camps perfectly. And because of how janky some of them control, unfair hitboxes and the fact that the game has absolutely dogshit automatic aiming, I'm doing these Boot Camps over, and over, and over until I just wanna beat Bobbin Rood's face into a bloody fucking pulp.

But heyyy, enough about the villains. How about the levels themselves?

Boring. Long, stale and boring.

What's great about the 3DS Skylanders games is they are fast-paced objective based experiences that contrast well against the long, 40 minute levels of the console games. While the console games are about exploration, the 3DS games are about speedrunning. Makes sense, they are handheld consoles, so these games are designed with short bursts of play in mind.

But Trap Team decides nooo, we're too good to be associated with those puny handheld titles. We wanna go to the biiiig leagues. It wants the 20-30 minute levels too. Cause these levels are long, sprawling, tedious, and try so hard to replicate the console level's sense of exploration with none of the fun, and 100% more motion controlled bullshit.

And the problem that adds into it is most of the levels aren't that interesting. It's either a library, or a temple for 80% of the game. The fun of Skylanders is levels can take place anywhere. No idea is considered too out there for this series. But everything is just played so safe, and lifeless. It's like they copied the Golden Queen levels from the console version of Trap Team, and pasted it into 3 out of the 4 worlds.

Only in the final world, the Nightmare Realm is when things actually get interesting, with unique level gimmicks and setpieces. But it's too little, too late.

It doesn't help that the boss of every world is just the same fight with the Dream Sheep, over and over, adding to the monotony.

The gimmick Skylanders aren't that different either. The Trap Masters are supposed to be the ultimate Skylanders to take down villains, doing extra damage to bosses. But even on Hard Mode, my other Skylanders are just as effective. They only have a super move. Yay...?

Their movesets I don't think were translated well to the 3DS anyway. They just feel like more bare bones versions of how they play on consoles, so most of the time, I'm playing older Skylanders whose abilities are more lovingly adapted for the system.

So the villains are pointless, the game is buggy, the hitboxes are jank, the combat is lame, the levels are even lamer, and the story is a big pile of whatever. Is there ANYTHING this game gets right?

...Yes. It's cheaper to finish.

The main point of contention about Trap Team on console is that it is way too monetized... Moreso than usual, at least. In most Skylanders games, there are Elemental Gates that hold most of the collectables in a level. They can only be opened by a Skylander, any Skylander of the gate's corresponding element.

This includes older figures. Activision, looking to boost their bottom line introduced Traptanium Gates requiring a Trap Master of a specific element to enter, rendering your older figures useless to open parts of a level. This forces you to buy 10 Trap Masters on top of the 11 Traps to experience everything a console level has to offer.

The 3DS game... ACTUALLY reverses this decision. It's just normal Elemental Gates. This makes the game much, much cheaper to complete.

...But it's also much cheaper to not buy the game at all.

Cause this game is a dreadful slog. It's lame, it's really, really lame. If it isn't pissing me off with all the missed potential and Boot Camps, it's putting me to sleep with its uninspired levels and gimmicks.

So... I guess the Dream Sheep won after all.

Don't let this be your exposure to Skylanders. Play a console game, or any of the other GOOD 3DS games in the series. Thankfully, this is the only title I call bad... But it's a black mark on an otherwise great series.

GAMES FINISHED: 58

GAMES COMPLETED: 53