Possibly throwing a party with underage drinking, any tips/advice?

[CrownSlayers Shadow]

I didn't really want to bud in onto the main line of discussion mostly because I'm not really much of a party kind of guy, even setting aside that I do have a fair share of experience from them. I'm mostly the "hey let's get a healthy bunch of bros together so we can fuck around, play some video games, watch a movie and have snacks" kind of guy, and I guess you can account that to my grade-A reclusive persona, and that I prefer a compact environment. So on that end, yeah, I can't say I'm that qualified on account of personal biases. I probably should have elaborated more on that end.

Like I said, I'm not the most social person. But you idea of a party is basically me and my friends idea of a get together, because 10 people just isn't enough for a "party"-kind of party from my experience. But I've been out much to desire a more expansive environment every now and then.

The only thing I'm saying here is I can understand why people would criticize 40-attendants or so if only for the fact that someone is relatively unsure about the potential consequences and how to work around them. Setting biases aside, it's pretty hard to keep such a thing low-key, and one solution to that problem is decreasing your numbers and not bringing over guys you don't really know. For a house-party that may not be the most favorable thing to do, but if you want to play favorably it's advisable to not have your own cake and eat it.

See this must be the cultural difference here, because 30 or 40 so people for a party isn't all that unusual here to us Americans depending on the area and the house. It's not something we keep "low-key" but rather "controlled"; the party is obviously going to be loud in some way, but we don't want it to get too wild to where, should trouble occur, it gets traced back to the origin.

Mainly why my advice on the weed was "Don't do it or keep that shit on lock".

[Alluusio]

Seems rather different to where I live. Here the biggest concern is that something gets broken or someone gets hurt. Police is nothing to worry about unless you're underage and drunk. I personally don't drink but I've been to a lot of events where people get drunk, to the point where they spend an entire night in the bathroom, constantly throwing up. Although we have large, two-story houses we usually only invite about 7-10 people. More than that and things start to feel a bit too uncomfortable and narrow for us. I guess we Finns aren't used to having that many people around us.

I don't know much about the laws and drinking habits of your culture but if they drink anywhere near as much as people do here and act similarly, then having 30 people over and not catching anyone's attention sounds like an impossible task. I don't know much about weed so I won't comment on that one. If you are going to do this, then I'd say it would be good idea to have a few guys who don't drink and they would watch over the others and make sure that things don't get out of control. It's difficult to manage drunk people, but I have had this role quite a few times since I don't drink and things have worked out pretty well. Of course 30 people is way more than anything I've ever had to deal with. I can understand the need for these kinds of events, but I'd advice cutting down the number of people you're going to invite. Of course our culture differs quite a bit so maybe I'm not the one to judge. But whatever you do, have fun!

And boy, the police around there really sounds like a nuisance.

[LATER BUDDY]

I've really never understood the reason why late-teenage parties needed alcohol or drugs. Like Carbo, I still prefer just a few cans of soda and maybe some chips and whatnot, XD. You know, simple snacks, video games, shows on TV, maybe some activity. The key idea is that I like when everyone is actually acting like themselves at a party (which happens in the kind I just explained), and not masking behind some sort of substance to try to fake confidence or social skills or something.

The thing is, I don't really have a problem with people using alcohol or weed honestly, just as long as they use it wisely. That said, usually people don't use it wisely at such a party, so this is why I have the gut feeling it's a bad idea. People egg-on and influence others, and when everybody is hammered ass drunk, it's only a mess. I've seen people throw parties and then wake up the next morning finding people they don't know crashed on their floor, shit broken, and/or stolen. I just don't think that's worth the fun, nor the popularity you'd get out of this situation.

On a side-note about the underage shit, it's not really cool, D;. People who aren't responsible with their drinks mess up big time usually at some point or another, and people who smoke let it get to their heads and change who they are. Weed isn't really bad itself, but it still is against the law unfortunately, and it seems like every person I met that got into it becomes obsessed with it to the point that they're really bland and generic. I also have one friend in particular who I don't remember the last time I've spoke with him or seen him in person while wasn't high. It's like I can't see my old friend anymore. If I was having a party, I definitely would not support this.

IDK man, it might just be easier to go to a party instead of make one.

[HunterTSF]

Hey, there Soap! Here's some words of advice, from one partygoer to another.

Now, I don't host parties on a daily basis, but when I do, I don't serve alcohol and drugs to minors. Yes, this has been stated in the thread beforehand. Yes, I am aware that you have heard other people echo this disagreement. Yes, I'm aware that you're going to do this anyways. And yes, I know that having a high and mighty moral stance is annoying. But, I'll just phrase this in simple terms.

Neither are required to have a good time.

Do I have anything against either substance? Heavens no. It's just that in the countless parties that I've been to, I've had had just as much fun, if not more fun at the parties in which neither were served. If you are hanging out with your friends that you truly appreciate just being accompanied with, you will find ways to have fun. Whether it being some lame-ass card game, impromptu rap battles, an overly complicated gaming tournament or something as simple as dancing, you will have fun simply by being there.

Now, two buddies over? That's nice. 5 friends? That's fun! 10 people? That's a party! 20? Pretty decent sized party. 30? That's a large party. 40 people? And you expect things to go off without a hitch? Ha ha. No.

Parties as small as having 20 20-something guests can get out of control very easily without even including any drugs or alcohol. But adding both and doubling the size and having all underage participants? I'm sorry for saying this, but that is fucking retarded. Things will get out of hand. I'm sure your close circle of friends will be just fine, but those friends of friends will freaking screw you over big time. There is always that one guy. Trust me, I know. And the higher the number, the more of those guys will be there. There is just simply no way that you can monitor all of these guests with both of these substances present and expect none of them to go do something stupid. Because I can assure you, they will.

I do not care how "lax" the laws are in your neighborhood, no matter how you twist things what you plan on doing is illegal and breaking the law. Yes, you have gotten off the hook before with nothing but a slap to the wrist. I get that. But with a party of this size with a double hitter of both underage drinking and drug abuse in a house full of forty something underage kids you are simply asking for a ride down to the station with all of your friends in tow. It's not a question of "will the police knock on my door" it's "oh shit how do I not look suspicious when they do?"

Yeah, they typically require a warrant for these things, but if they suspect underage drinking or as much as get a whiff of that pot there is nothing to stop them crashing that party big time. I have seen this happen to far too many parties of much smaller scales with similar Honor-roll clientele. It does not manner how well-mannered you or your friends are.

It's simply a numbers game.

...and Soap, I warn you that they are not in your favor.

Just don't do it man. It is perfectly possible to have an awesome and fun party and just serve something mundane like drug store fruit punch. You do not want to face jail time or endanger your friends just because you wanted to add a little extra "zing" to your fiesta. It is just simply not worth the trouble. Wait a few years until you're all legal and then do it. But this type of party? Today? Not enough "no"s in the world, mate. Not meaning to be a buzzkill, but it's just not a good idea.

Edited April 9, 2012 by HunterTSF

[Pelly <3's U]

A lot of people on this forum honestly have such huge sticks up their asses, it kind of depresses me that their are certain subjects which can never be thoughtfully discussed here. This isn't aimed at anyone who thinks this is a bad idea because their are some valid points....this is just aimed at anyone who see's the words 'alcohol' 'weed' 'party' 'minors' and goes into the same damn tizzy they do in every thread that contains the word. To those people who do it in every god damn thread, we get it. You think you're clearly superior because you're "on the outs of adolescence' and "don't give in to the rabid peer pressure". Have fun with that (and I mean that sincerely, honestly, truly get enjoyment from whatever floats your boat....but jesus get off your high moral horse).

I've been to dozens of parties just this year alone, most with probably a good 20+ people with drinking/smoking abound. Usually comes with living in a college town and having a somewhat typical college social experience. I've been to parties that had 100s+ people, and a lot have been busted by the cops. I've never once gotten in trouble as the partaker in these activities, but then again I'm not the person who through the party. I've also never heard of anyone who has gotten in trouble, but once again that's some pretty anecdotal claims I'm making.

In my town they just instated a fine of $1000 to the owner of any property that gets busted with minors drinking, and with it instated all year I've really seen no difference in the amount of house parties going on. Of course, now is getting to be the time when the great majority of my friends are old enough to go to bars, or have fakes (which I haven't been able to get....luckily it helps to know some bouncers )

Personally if I were you, from what I've read up on the laws in your area from just this forum....I would downsize the party. I know it's a lot of fun to have a get together of 20-30 people, but it's also just damn harder to control. It's not the whole stranger angle (I mean....anyone who's really worried about this has not been to a real house party lol) or any of that....it's just to me the biggest risk of you getting caught is going to be party size. You also have to worry about whether all those people are going to crash at your place or find a way home, still leading to you risking getting in trouble if they get into any altercations with the law after they leave and it was found out they consumed at your place.

I would say under 15....maybe even 10 would be the best advice. Then it could be a much more chill atmosphere, which might not be exactly what you're looking for...but honestly their will be other large parties. You might as well leave the large parties to the more experienced hosts, or at least those without much to lose.

[Stacy]

Also if everyone one is baked how can you have fun? I can see 40 or so people on the carpet with a box of cereal know over next to them stone out of their head. Which my sober self would find amusing to watch but would you?

[Pelly <3's U]

Also if everyone one is baked how can you have fun?

This is just a silly fucking question.

(and this is coming from someone who doesn't even like the effect of doing pot)

[HunterTSF]

Also if everyone one is baked how can you have fun? I can see 40 or so people on the carpet with a box of cereal know over next to them stone out of their head. Which my sober self would find amusing to watch but would you?

I don't think you know how pot works.

Heck, I would be perfectly fine if Soap kept the alcohol and pot and just downsized the whole thing.

...and even if he did decide to axe them I'd still recommend downsizing the thing.

40 people is a lot of people. That's as many as four tens. And that's terrible. a lot of people.

Here is some sound advice. No means no and intoxicated moans means no as well.

It's not rape if you shout "surprise!"

This is a bad joke and I should feel bad for making it.

Edited April 9, 2012 by HunterTSF

[turbojet]

Here is some sound advice. No means no and intoxicated moans means no as well.

[Solkia]

A lot of people on this forum honestly have such huge sticks up their asses, it kind of depresses me that their are certain subjects which can never be thoughtfully discussed here. This isn't aimed at anyone who thinks this is a bad idea because their are some valid points....this is just aimed at anyone who see's the words 'alcohol' 'weed' 'party' 'minors' and goes into the same damn tizzy they do in every thread that contains the word. To those people who do it in every god damn thread, we get it. You think you're clearly superior because you're "on the outs of adolescence' and "don't give in to the rabid peer pressure". Have fun with that (and I mean that sincerely, honestly, truly get enjoyment from whatever floats your boat....but jesus get off your high moral horse).

What do you mean? Nothing was said that implied a superiority complex as far as I can see.

[Stacy]

Yeah looking at my last post now it "slight" exaggeration.

I don't know I guess this is why I completely isolated from my peers or people in general.

[Diz]

30-40? Holy bajeezus. I notice the difference both by culture and personal preference. I usually just throw alcohol parties with one or two others. I did throw a party for a friend and four of his own friends, but judging by how things looked afterwards, I am not tempted to do that again anytime soon.

It looks to me as if the alcohol/weed subject does not bother you that much anymore, so I won't focus on it in my post. I also do not know how things work down there, especially since weed appears so accepted (here, if they find out you give or buy alcohol to minors, you are in serious trouble).

If the concept of responsibility works the same over there, you must not forget that you are not only the party host, but you are also the person responsible for every minor attending the party, especially if they are being offered alcohol or weed. If this is truly how it works in your community, you should keep that fact in the back of your head at all times.

If you do not directly know a person, you never know how they will react to alcohol. Weed, I do not even know anything about that stuff. Some tolerate more alcohol than others, and if some of them have never tried alcohol before, who knows, there is a chance that they lose control and bump into things or feel ill or even become unconscious. Anything can happen, even if it seems unlikely. Be observant and make sure that everyone are okay, especially when there are so many people attending.

What else can I say? Make sure people respect you. If you have an announcement to make or a rule you wish to add to the list over Do-And-Do-Not's, you would not want it to go unnoticed or even ignored. Make trash bags/containers easily visible and accessible.

Perhaps none of these were useful advice, but here they are anyway. Take good care of everyone, and have fun!

Edit:

OMG I BROKE TEH TOPIC ;~;

[Scar]

Drugs, alcohol and whatnot is a personal thing, and I couldn't care less about it, save for heavily not recommending the former.

My biggest problem has always been the number of people. I get that 30 odd people is kind of a standard, but you wouldn't ask for our advice if you had experience in dealing with crowds that big. Keep things small, if you're not sure how to work it, just to stay on the safe side. If someone else is hosting such a large party and know how to control it, by all means go and have fun there, but you aren't sure just don't bother with so many people.

[Pelly <3's U]

BW, I honestly have nothing but respect for your decision to not partake in drinking, parties, drugs, or the like. It's cool that you know where you stand on what you want to do and you go with that without feeling pressured. It's a very respectable position to take and as long as it's a decision you like and is making you happy it's truly awesome (:

....but honestly it's getting kind of repetitive for you to come into topic after topic and have this really condescending tone, completely unwilling to try and understand anybodies else's life choice's. It's not like you have to respect their beliefs or choices, but I think it's a bit more enlightened to at least acknowledge that in this, as well as most issues, their is a much bigger perspective than just what you personally believe to be right and wrong.

[Chibinuva]

You know what they say... to assume is to make an ass out of you and me.

Have fun with your party

Oh good someone else uses that phrase. XD

Anyways, even if the rules are more lax, you could still get caught, and if you have alcohol and weed when underage, the charges could be worse. Besides the suggestion for having people to look out, one way to make sure people stay sober is to have a few sober people to make sure the drunks don't drink too much, and then when they sober out you could rotate so everyone gets a few drinks. I would still advise against it, but hey, it's your party, and I'm not going to stop you from having it.

Also, I'm not saying this to hate, it's because I care and don't want you to get busted by the cops, and I'm sure the majority of posters here feel similarly.

edit: So many mods here.

Edited April 9, 2012 by Spidey 4 Ep MMXCIX

[Remy]

Oh crap, DiZ broke the topic... oAo

RUN!

Hardy har. Thank you for your contribution.

If you want some serious advice SOAP try to keep people inside/off your goddamn front lawn as much as possible.... this is something that is a lot harder to do in reality then it sounds, as there is always going to be some dumbass/dumbasses out the front. If you keep things low key you'll be fine, most likely. Drink responsibly, hopefully none of your friends are going to get shitfaced and ruin everything for everyone.

this kinda ties into the "have less people" thing I also wanna echo.... having 40 ish there exponentially increases your chances of dumbasses who can't stay inside/can't handle liquor/will make a scene. It's up to you if you wanna have that many and you're boned if you've already invited everyone but keep in mind that's a lot of people to manage there, esp. when you want to avoid the eyes of nosy neighbours calling the police on your ass.

keeping it low key also helps you avoid gate crashers :>

find it slightly amusing how everywhere here is so rigid to the American alcohol laws. I'm 20, australian legal age for alcohol is 18, so I've been socially drinking for two years now, despite not being legal in the US until next February, does this make me some immoral underage drinker boozehound when i step onto your turf? I'm not about to sit here arguing about which limit is better but it amuses me that over there i'd be an underage drinker- which is a category I have reserved in my mind for 16 year olds who have just discovered vodka

edit: So many mods here.

Touchy topic. Hence mod presence.

[leave_nothing]

Be aware of who you're letting in

/thread

[Mono]

I would just invite a small number of my closest friends and have fun. Having a huge party is just going to lead to trouble.

[Diz]

find it slightly amusing how everywhere here is so rigid to the American alcohol laws. I'm 20, australian legal age for alcohol is 18, so I've been socially drinking for two years now, despite not being legal in the US until next February

I did not think of that. o.o When I thought underage, I automatically assumed only 14-17, as legal age for below 20% strength alcohol drinks is 18 in Norway as well. x3

The horrors of different laws throughout the worlds.

[Remy]

I did not think of that. o.o When I thought underage, I automatically assumed only 14-17, as legal age for below 20% strength alcohol drinks is 18 in Norway as well. x3

The horrors of different laws throughout the worlds.

Yeah, my mental image for "underage drinking" is 14-17 year olds as well. And drunk 14-17s is a lot different to drunk 18-20s IMO. Stuff like this always weirds me out when I read the actual ages.

note: SSMB does not support breaking the law, obey local drinking laws. drink responsibly.

[Tornado]

find it slightly amusing how everywhere here is so rigid to the American alcohol laws. I'm 20, australian legal age for alcohol is 18, so I've been socially drinking for two years now, despite not being legal in the US until next February, does this make me some immoral underage drinker boozehound when i step onto your turf? I'm not about to sit here arguing about which limit is better but it amuses me that over there i'd be an underage drinker- which is a category I have reserved in my mind for 16 year olds who have just discovered vodka

It just seems like a really bad idea to me. Drinking laws in America are stupid, but they are still the law; and you're risking an awful lot by doing this.

It's not about "follow the law because it's right." It's "follow the law because it's the law and I don't want SOAP to go to jail."

Edited April 9, 2012 by Tornado

[Sapphire]

I really don't see a huge problem with partying at all, but you should probably be a little smarter about it. I know there are a good amount of people I go to high school with that party and stuff, and none of them really get caught because they keep it on the down low and are very careful about it. I myself don't go to these parties (I don't really think alcohol is necessary to have a good time... maybe I'm just a really lame teenager ), but I feel like you should keep the amount of people you're inviting low, and don't let anyone drink outside.

I know I may go to these kinds of parties, too, once I'm in college later this year. But I know I'll be really smart about it, because the consequences of getting caught are pretty high. My cousin got busted at a couple parties like this and they're all still on his record. Now he's having a hard time getting a good job. And my brother got 2 underages and he had to go to court a number of times to get them off his record.

Anyway, have fun, but don't be obnoxious about it, I guess.

[Stacy]

note: SSMB does not support breaking the law, obey local drinking laws. drink responsibly.

You sound like a PSA or drinks commerical....

[Urban Flow]

Hey, there Soap! Here's some words of advice, from one partygoer to another.

Now, I don't host parties on a daily basis, but when I do, I don't serve alcohol and drugs to minors. Yes, this has been stated in the thread beforehand. Yes, I am aware that you have heard other people echo this disagreement. Yes, I'm aware that you're going to do this anyways. And yes, I know that having a high and mighty moral stance is annoying. But, I'll just phrase this in simple terms.

Neither are required to have a good time.

Do I have anything against either substance? Heavens no. It's just that in the countless parties that I've been to, I've had had just as much fun, if not more fun at the parties in which neither were served. If you are hanging out with your friends that you truly appreciate just being accompanied with, you will find ways to have fun. Whether it being some lame-ass card game, impromptu rap battles, an overly complicated gaming tournament or something as simple as dancing, you will have fun simply by being there.

Now, two buddies over? That's nice. 5 friends? That's fun! 10 people? That's a party! 20? Pretty decent sized party. 30? That's a large party. 40 people? And you expect things to go off without a hitch? Ha ha. No.

Parties as small as having 20 20-something guests can get out of control very easily without even including any drugs or alcohol. But adding both and doubling the size and having all underage participants? I'm sorry for saying this, but that is fucking retarded. Things will get out of hand. I'm sure your close circle of friends will be just fine, but those friends of friends will freaking screw you over big time. There is always that one guy. Trust me, I know. And the higher the number, the more of those guys will be there. There is just simply no way that you can monitor all of these guests with both of these substances present and expect none of them to go do something stupid. Because I can assure you, they will.

I do not care how "lax" the laws are in your neighborhood, no matter how you twist things what you plan on doing is illegal and breaking the law. Yes, you have gotten off the hook before with nothing but a slap to the wrist. I get that. But with a party of this size with a double hitter of both underage drinking and drug abuse in a house full of forty something underage kids you are simply asking for a ride down to the station with all of your friends in tow. It's not a question of "will the police knock on my door" it's "oh shit how do I not look suspicious when they do?"

Yeah, they typically require a warrant for these things, but if they suspect underage drinking or as much as get a whiff of that pot there is nothing to stop them crashing that party big time. I have seen this happen to far too many parties of much smaller scales with similar Honor-roll clientele. It does not manner how well-mannered you or your friends are.

It's simply a numbers game.

...and Soap, I warn you that they are not in your favor.

Just don't do it man. It is perfectly possible to have an awesome and fun party and just serve something mundane like drug store fruit punch. You do not want to face jail time or endanger your friends just because you wanted to add a little extra "zing" to your fiesta. It is just simply not worth the trouble. Wait a few years until you're all legal and then do it. But this type of party? Today? Not enough "no"s in the world, mate. Not meaning to be a buzzkill, but it's just not a good idea.

Give this fellow an Internets trophy please!!!! Great Job. Exactly what I would have said. Edited April 9, 2012 by Urban Flow

[SoniClub]

It's annoying when people who don't drink or smoke always use the, "cause I don't need that stuff to have fun." As if all of us that do do it because we can't have fun without. Most of us have the majority of our fun times without it, but occasionally it's even more fun with it :L

Edited April 9, 2012 by Wordy