Preview of my fanfiction.

[IHaveACaseOfSonicMania]

Here's a preview of my fanfiction, the very first paragraph. It's the first person. I wanted to convey some ideas of themes of the story through this monologue, but I hope you like it. And of course, criticism to make it better is open, but don't be harsh or mean.

 

A lingering shadow

Think, think back to your older days. Were you happy? Were you mad? From what I remember, my past was dark. Just a gruesome, dark image; my best friend's death. But do you let those dark moments define you? I used to let them define me; I believed my task was to destroy the human race, but in the end I learned I was meant to do the opposite. I nearly died trying to do the right thing. Even though I survived, I lost my memories. But soon, a doom came upon the planet, and I learnt about my past. But to be honest, I'm not the happiest knowing the truth again, but despite that fact I was still able to put the past behind me. I'd moved on from then, so why go back there again?

Edited March 22 by IHaveACaseOfSonicMania

[Maple Syrup]

Oooh.. Interesting.. So far, so good!

[cosmichaos]

Very nice! I love how it's from Shadow's POV. I always like an extra layer of depth in fanfics. The only piece of constructive criticism I would offer is to consider using semicolons. They're a good way to organize information without ending the sentences too short. For example:

2 hours ago, IHaveACaseOfSonicMania said:

Just a gruesome, dark image; my best friend's death. 

I used to let them define me; I believed my task was to destroy the human race, but in the end I learned I was meant to do the opposite. 

They're not required in any sense, but they do help with organization in some cases. Also, they look nice!

[ChaosCTRL]

Sounding really good so far. I like the Shadow POV. I feel you’ve pretty well nailed what his character is. I’m excited to see where this goes!