*RANT/CONFESSION* I used to be a Nintendo-Hating Troll in order to defend Sonic's honor and it wasted my 20s!

[OtakuHedgehog]

DISCLAIMER

This thread can be considered a sequel to this thread that I made nearly a year ago: 

https://www.sonicstadium.org/forums/topic/30617-depression-as-a-sonic-fan/#comment-1397213

 

This thread can also be considered a response to the Sonic Stadium Admin suggesting that I (Mephiles’ Disciple) should make a separate thread regarding this topic as seen here in this thread: https://www.sonicstadium.org/news/games/sega-wants-sonic-to-catch-up-and-surpass-mario-out-of-respect-of-course-r1687/?page=3

 

Note: As of 11/17/23 7:15pm PST, this Rant is a bit scatterbrained and may contain grammatical errors as I as a mentally-ill 31 year-old seeking employment only have so much time to put into Sonic discussions, but I desperately need to get some feedback from the Sonic Community from a point of view that my therapists would never be able to understand. I also want to be clear that when I say that I used to be a troll, I was more of a Nintendo detractor than a troll. Coming off from the disaster that was the Wii U, I was so happy to see Nintendo in hot water and the Gaming Community not blindly worshipping them as usual. I created a YouTube Channel to detract the upcoming Nintendo Switch and comedically point out the flaws of Nintendo's business practices which is not malicious as Nintendo is a company, not a living breathing person. I have every right to criticize them, but the Nintendo Elitists take criticism of Nintendo so personally, they treat Nintendo as their religion and will go out of their way to insult people and even go as far as telling them to *self-delete*. I didn't do anything like that as a troll until my heart blackened in anger after being harassed on my channel by Mario fanboys after saying that I believe Sonic should have beaten Mario in the 2018 Mario vs Sonic Death Battle.

 

 

 

I am stuck in a mental Hell where I am constantly reliving crap that I went through while being on the internet and it's ruining my life and my relationship with family and friends. I really messed up, I wasted my 20s and went from a college scholar who studied abroad in Japan to an Internet Troll who became consumed in anger and harassed Nintendo fans due to being bullied by the fandom in the past and with the desire to defend Sonic's honor. I'm now on a spiritual journey to get my life and my passion back. I've struggled with mental health and socializing my whole life. I grew up in an abusive household where I constantly witnessed my father physically and verbally abuse my mother on a daily basis. My mother had an affair with a coworker at her job who is now my stepfather and during my parent's divorce, I was always put in the middle of my parent's civil war. I constantly had to watch them try to one-up each other financially, see them go to divorce court because my father refused to pay child-support, and be used as a pawn by one parent to attack the other parent. My father even used me once to try to get my mother arrested by telling me to call the police when she left me and my brother home alone to run a 10-minute errand, despite the fact that he would do the same thing when we visited him. Sonic became my form of escape from this despair growing up and became an obsession for me. But after graduating from college, my best friend betrayed me and I fell to darkness and anger as I eventually got fed up with all the Sonic hate online and became an internet troll to defend Sonic's honor against the Nintendo fandom which bullied and humiliated me in the past.

 

My anger towards Nintendo originated back in 2005, due to a certain incident. Back in 2006. the Sonic community was in a bit of a civil war I was a socially awkward 13-year old starting a new Middle School post-divorce and didn’t really have any friends at the time, and due to being on the spectrum, it was really difficult for me to communicate with other students and make friends at my new school. As a result, I turned to the internet to speak with people who share my interests as I found it much easier to communicate through text on the web, than face-to-face and in-person. From there I discovered my first little internet home, The Sonic Zone Forum (Any oldie-moldies like me here that remembers that site?) was in a bit of a civil war at the time due to the post-2005 Shadow-Hate bandwagon, controversial change to the 4kids voice cast, and the announcement of Sonic 06 coming to the 360/PS3 but not the upcoming Nintendo Wii. With all the drama and corrupted mods running The Sonic Zone Forum, I felt that I had to give the website a break and discuss with Sonic fans elsewhere. I soon discovered another forum called the ‘Cream Dream’ which was focused on the Sonic character ‘Cream The Rabbit’ who was pretty popular at the time. I discovered this forum after speaking with some Cream fans on the The Sonic Zone Forums and I thought they were cool people, little did I know that this would be my first exposure to toxic fanboyism. The Cream Dream was ran by toxic Nintendo elitists who were calling Sega traitors for "abandoning Nintendo" and even wanted the Sega corporation to burn for not making Sonic 06 for the Wii. What they didn't realize is that Sonic Team was split in half to work on Sonic 06 and Secret Rings simultaneously, but that wasn't enough for them. After Secret Rings was announced, they hoped that Sonic 06 would fail and that Secret Rings would succeed. Well in the end, they got their wish and the Sonic franchise entered the 'Dark Age'. They also accused Sega of being sexist because there’s more male characters than female characters and they thought that “we’d never see Blaze again” after she returned to her dimension at the end of Sonic Rush. I was the only Sega fan on the forum and tried to defend Sega from their illogical claims of ‘betraying Nintendo’ or ‘being sexist’. But I was told by the moderators and Admin “They are sexist, you just don’t like being proven wrong”, “How dare you be excited for Sonic Next-Gen, Nintendo saved Sega and Nintendo saved Sonic”,  or “I SAID NO! NOW SHUT UP AND THINK OF SOMETHING GOOD!” after I agreed with another member suggesting a Sega sub-forum when the Admin was asking for suggestions. Another comment that really hit me hard when I was trying to explain that it would cost too much time and resources for Sega to put Sonic 06 on the Wii due to the system being too weak was: “Nintendo’s not weak, Sega’s weak! They’re the one that’s not a console anymore!” This mindset from Nintendo fanboys just infuriates me because it makes me feel like I was born in the wrong decade! I would have loved to be able to experience Sonic and Sega in their glory days when they weren’t the joke of the video game community. I then left the forum after that incident and later found out that the forum quickly died afterwards, and I’m not surprised. I know this sounds silly for me to be obsessing over something so petty that happened nearly 20 years ago, but the truth is that I have a mental illness. I suffer from obsessive intrusive thoughts, whenever I have a bad confrontation, I tend to ruminate over for months or even years, but this event really ruined my views of Nintendo and feminism and influenced my thoughts for years to come.

 

Moving on, I came to see the Nintendo fandom in a completely different light and began to hate the fandom. With the disastrous launch of Sonic 06, I saw countless comments from Nintendo fanboys in the Sonic community mocking those who were looking forward to and bought Sonic 06 clamoring about how “The Wii game will be way better than Sonic Next-Gen”. It just broke my heart to see so many people happy that Sonic failed, especially considering that Sonic 06 could have been the most epic Sonic game ever made if half of Sonic Team wasn’t outsourced to work on Secret Rings, but that’s a topic for another day. Due to all of this infighting in the Sonic community, I decided to take a long break from Sonic forum and focus on making Sonic AMVs on YouTube where I was building an audience. Of course, YouTube was much different back in 2006, it was a time when people uploaded content out of fun and passion and weren’t trying to make a quick buck unlike today! Then in 2007 there was a big trend online promoting the idea of Sonic being put into the upcoming Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I joined in on the trend and made a video to try and promote the idea of having Sonic be put into Smash Bros, but I received a lot of hate comments from Nintendo Elitists claiming that “Sonic doesn’t deserve to be put in Smash Bros”, or “I hate you! Because of people like you, Brawl is going to get delayed”, or “The blue rat will never be in Smash. There hasn’t been a good Sonic game since 1994, sad but true” And to add insult to injury, this was around the time when the Sonic brand was starting to receive blind hate from influencers like IGN and X-play. Mocking Sega’s library of games as “The Sega Graveyard” or making comments like “When people used to buy Sega games”. And what hurts even more is that I have a passion for Sonic/Sega and it was even my dream to work for the company, but I was too young to be able to appreciate the brand in their glory days as I was born in 1992. What I wouldn’t give to be able to see when Sonic was on top of the world.

 

As the years went on, I entered college and didn’t have much time to participate in online nerd discussions and (unfortunately) let my YouTube Channel die out. I did occasionally make a post on social media though such as whenever a new Smash Bros game was announced and I would hope that Shadow, or another Sonic rep would get invited into Smash. Of course I immediately would get mocked and harassed by the Nintendo Elitists claiming that “Shadow doesn’t deserve to be in Smash”, or “Sonic doesn’t need anyone to represent his dying franchise but himself!” Good grief, I enjoy Smash Bros as a game, but I CANNOT STAND the elitist community! Anyway, during my college years around 2010-2015 I became inspired by content creators on YouTube actually getting invited by big gaming corporations to come to their studios. I made it my goal to eventually become a big SonicTuber and maybe even someday to get invited by Sega to visit their office. My ex-friend from college had zero faith in me though and stated that “If I want to succeed at YouTube then I have to admit that me hating on the likes of the GameGrumps and Angryjoe is really stupid”. This comment really hit hard as I’ll explain later. I don’t hate Angryjoe, I just hated his review of Sonic Free Riders. I mean it’s one thing to say that you don’t like the game, but to say that it’s the worst game that you ever reviewed and then encouraging people to get refunds for games that are “Outright Broken” really annoyed me. It even inspired scam artists as seen here: https://youtu.be/4TDHYh2UGjs?si=nJWkYKT8InrbuhxR

 

And then the Angryjoe admitted in a later review that he’s biased against the Xbox Kinect, but of course he has to give Sonic all the hate so that he can get his precious clicks on YouTube. And because of the fact that 90% of gamers passed on the Kinect add-on, people blindly believed Angryjoe’s review without giving the game a chance! Sonic Free Riders isn’t perfect, but it’s nowhere near a 1/10! Sonic Free Riders aside, I can at least admit that Angryjoe gives out pretty in depth and quality reviews (from the few interviews that I’ve seen from him anyway), the GameGrumps on the other hand, I absolutely hate. Not only do they admit that Sonic videos are their most viewed content, but they purposely play good Sonic games poorly to make the games look bad. And even worse, not only do they get paid to make Sonic look bad, but they get invited to Sega’s HQ for it! Not to mention all the ignorant kids and teenagers who are too young and stupid to know that there was a time when Sonic was #1 grow up to blindly hate on Sonic and the franchise and even worse, hate on the fandom because of “influencers” like them. I can’t stand this, it’s one thing to hate on Sonic as a character, but to hate on people for liking Sonic is just downright mean! This just baffles me, and the fact that my ex-friend used to shove their crap content in my face and claim “They get millions of views unlike you, so obviously they’re doing something right” ticks me off even more! 

 

[OFF-TOPIC COLLEGE DRAMA THAT EXPLAINS HOW/WHY I BECAME A HERMIT THAT PEOPLE MIGHT NOT CARE TO HEAR]

 

Moving on to 2015, my life completely fell apart. It's a long story that I explain in my 'Spiritual Journey' video series. I'll try to summarize this the best I can, during my college years I lived with my parents off campus, so my opportunity to make friends was limited. The Friday night Anime Club was the only time I had to make friends with people who share my interests, where I met my best friend and now ex-friend ‘Judas’ (not his real name). The Anime Club was what I looked forward to every week and for the first time, I truly felt like I found a group of people who accept me for who I am. At the end of the year though, the Anime Club had a meeting to vote on the anime to be shown next year. I wasn't invited to the meeting because "I lived on campus so it would be inconvenient to invite me" I felt really crushed by that and it haunted me for years to come.

 

Most of my friends were seniors and graduated by the end of the year and the new club president sucked at the job and ran the club to the ground, so me and Judas stopped going to the club. Judas stayed for an extra year though so I still got to hang out with him. Then after he graduated, he got a girlfriend and I started calling him every other night on Zoom. He said that I overwhelmed him and told me to "call him no more than once every 2 months". It really hurt me as I saw him as my best friend, but I guess the feeling wasn't mutual. Honestly, looking back, I was really jealous of his girlfriend and that she got to hang out with him so much. I guess looking back, maybe I loved him (not in a sexual manner but maybe as a brother?). 

 

That was in 2013, fast forward to 2015, and I graduated from college. Judas started talking to me again after his GF broke up with him. I invited him to volunteer together at the 2015 Anime Expo. My dream was to start as a volunteer and eventually work myself up in the company. At first Judas was against it but he eventually agreed. He ended up flaking out as my ride at the last minute because I made him upset. One day he brought up the Greenwood President  and the Anime voting panel which I wasn’t invited to, meanwhile, he was the president’s roommate and invited his other friend but not me. Anyway, I just felt so hurt and left out and frustrated that he as my friend didn’t care that I felt neglected. So I told him “How would you feel if I told you to just ‘get over’ your old girlfriend”.  I said it over text so he probably took it at as me yelling and being malicious when that wasn’t my intention. So he told the Anime Expo Staff that he didn’t want to room with me anymore, leaving me with no ride in less than 2 weeks before the event. I was stupid and desperate so I posted a sexy Anime gif on the Facebook Page to try and get attention for my plea to get a car pool at the last minute. I got in trouble for this and was eventually dropped from the Anime Expo Weapons Policy Volunteer group and lost my Captain status that I applied for and earned. Meanwhile Judas makes new friends and starts going to other conventions with them, and yet he'd always make excuses to not go to conventions whenever I invited him. Then I find out years later that he's moved up in the company when he originally didn't even want to go to the 2015 Anime Expo. My love for him turned to hate that I've held for the past 8 years! With my best and only friend gone, I began to isolate myself in my room trying different entrepreneurial experiments to avoid the typical 9-5 job and became a shell of what I was when I was in college!

 

[END OF COLLEGE FRIEND DRAMA]

 

The thing that is killing and haunting me though is that I've lost my passion because I did something stupid and shameful. I became an internet troll after I lost my college friends after graduation and became so frustrated with all the blind Sonic hate in order to defend my hero. Again, I grew up in an abusive household where I, as a child I saw, my father frequently beating up my mother. And I had to grow up in my teen years in the middle of my parents' civil war post-divorce. I constantly had to see my parents go to court. My Father was crazy with anger issues and spent more time and money on his stupid girlfriends rather than his own kids. My mother was incompetent and relied on her new husband who was the coworker that she cheated on my father with, and she would always take his side over mine during family conflicts! And I was constantly bullied at school because I was so socially inept and quiet, the students and teachers thought I was stupid or something.

 

Sonic was my only form of escape from my emotional pain. Sonic reminded me of the time of my early childhood where I was able to go play Sonic 1 & 2 on my childhood friends' Sega Genesis. But everyday I feel shunned by the world for being a Sonic fan as the entire nerd community hates Sonic and the fandom. After years of being harassed online, I reached my breaking point and decided to fight back by becoming an internet troll and putting Nintendo down because Nintendo fans tend to have this superiority complex over Sonic fans and I can never go a single day without seeing Sonic compared to Mario!

 

I was only fooling myself though, I wasted my 20s being angry. I was so passionate about video games and anime that I studied abroad in Japan! I stopped trolling at some point in 2017 and even made an apology video. In 2018, karma kicked me in the butt as I made a Gaming Channel and gave my thoughts on the 2018 Mario vs Sonic Death Battle and stated that I believe Sonic should have won. The Mario fandom went berserk and called me every name in the book and it DESTROYED me! And to make things worse, my college friends from the Anime Club took me to the 2019 Fanime Convention to cheer me up and there was a Sonic Detraction Panel dedicated to hating on Sonic and the fandom! They said that Sonic was never a match for Mario and implied that all Sonic fans are weird and have autism which is especially hurtful because I'm on the spectrum. Despite all of my accomplishments though, the world thinks that I'm stupid just because I like Sonic! That was the absolute last straw for me and killed my love for video games, anime, nerd stuff in general. I have no passion now and just feel like a husk of my former self. Honestly, I don't even see a point to life, I have nothing to enjoy anymore. :( And as I state in my ‘Spiritual Journey’ series and the other thread I made a year ago, the thing that just destroys me in regards to this Death Battle crap is the fact that I made my YouTube Channel to show my love for nerd stuff, but it ended up destroying my love for nerd stuff instead. Nobody watched me in 2017 when I was playing simple Let’s Plays of video games on my channel, but the moment that I said Sonic should have beaten Mario, all Hell breaks lose, because controversy is how you get views on not only YouTube, but in the media in general. Just turn on the television news, they’re always talking about the bad in the world on not the good because that’s what gets views! 

 

Also, not only was the 2011 Sonic vs Mario Death Battle pretty much the ONLY big victory that Sonic has had over Mario that they had to take away from us, but these Mario loving social-rejects believe that they’re above Sonic fans. As I mentioned in the other thread I posted a year ago, I had stupid mindless teenagers with Mario’s **** shoved up their *** calling me racial slurs and saying I’m r3t@rded because they believe it’s cute and funny. And they also say that “I deserve to be bullied because the Sonic fandom is toxic and autistic”. They think that they know everything when they know NOTHING, I’ve been playing both Sonic and Mario on 16-bit hardware while they were still swimming in the their father’s ****sack! Although the worst offender was this Cortex guy who I can’t get out of my mind and still think about everyday. He was the pinnacle of toxicity when it came to the Mario community. He acted like he was some king on a thrown insulting and laughing at any Sonic fans who tried to argue why Sonic would’ve beaten Mario, he had “Proving fanboys wrong with logic and facts since 1996” as his channel banner, and he told me that my debunk that I worked weeks on was ‘garbage’ and didn’t even bother to watch it. He said my video is 100% wrong and that I “have a severe mental problem” for working on a YouTube channel that “nobody watches me” on. And what’s even worse, the MArio fans supported him and joined in on harassing me! This absolutely destroyed me as I have suffered with mental health all of my life, despite my emotional damage and learning disability, I’ve over come the odds and made great accomplishments in my college days. This incident caused me to quit YouTube for a few years and just try to figure out what should I do with the rest of my life.

 

I have tried nothing but developing new skills since I graduated in 2015. In 2015 I did job hunting, In 2016 I tried creating and selling art, In 2017 I learned how to make YouTube videos (and did a lot of trolling regretfully), in 2018 I got back into studying Japanese and applied for the JET Program, in 2019 I went back to school to study computer science in the hopes of becoming a video game developer and make Sonic games which was my childhood dream, in 2020 the pandemic hit and I spent time at home trying to learn how to 3D Model for game dev purposes, in 2021 I tried creating an online Pet Store but made no profit, in 2022 I tried learning about investing in the stock market and cryptocurrency where I ended up losing thousands of dollars, in 2023 I'm now back to job hunting. Everything I've done since my college graduation has ended up in failure, shame, and heartbreak, how did my life come to this. :(

 

On the bright side, things have been getting better for me in 2023. Fast-forward 5 years later from the Mario vs Sonic drama  and the Cortex guy has deleted all of his comments while my channel has over 1,000 subs but his words still hurt and linger in my mind due to my shame and guilt. Not only did I confront him on my Sonic account, but I argued with him on my Troll account as well and he laughed at my trolling and called me pathetic despite the fact that he’s been doing the same thing. But unlike Sonic, Nintendo is widely loved, so I look like a jerk for hating on them while Mario fans see this Cortex guy as a hero. <_< The thing is that whenever I got harassed on my Sonic account, I used to go on my troll account and harass the person back. But with Cortex, it was a losing battle as no matter what I would say, Sonic lost to Mario and because Death Battle is an “influencer”, nerds just blindly believe that Mario 100% beats Sonic at everything, especially the stupid teenagers. And the worst part is that I CANNOT ESCAPE FROM MARIO! Mario is everywhere. Even when I avoid social media and nerdy crap, I can’t go a single day without hearing a Mario jingle/reference so I am constantly reminded of this Hell. I hate your crazy fandom Mario, just leave me alone!

 

Anyway, like I said before, I have a huge video series that delves into all of this more. People may call me weird, crazy, mental, etc. I don’t care, I have nothing left to lose at this point. Just last year, I was on the edge of hospitalization and self-deletion so there’s nothing that anonymous people online can say at this point to hurt me. I hope one day when I'm older and have my life together, I can look back at these videos and just laugh at the nonsense I was obsessing over back in 2023. I don’t know if advertising is not allowed here but I’ve shared this story with psychologists and desperately need some feedback from the Sonic community. I hope that I am not alone and that there’s some other people out there who relate even just a little to what I’m going through in some shape or form?

 

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLH2ZBhhbKJnlGIBsYDzSxIj5CgfjoVA30&si=wV6WcEvQFOc6VrI6

Edited November 19, 2023 by OtakuHedgehog

[HelenBaby]

I'm really sorry but the post is a wee bit long for me to read at this time

But in response to the title - I actually did the same! I started around age 10 (so 1993ish) and didn't stop til I got my Nintendo 64 lol

[OtakuHedgehog]

21 minutes ago, HelenBaby said:

I'm really sorry but the post is a wee bit long for me to read at this time

But in response to the title - I actually did the same! I started around age 10 (so 1993ish) and didn't stop til I got my Nintendo 64 lol

Thank you for the response. Yes I know this post is really long and it's not even scratching the surface of what I've went through (I go into far more detail in my vlogging series which is still ongoing). It's no exaggeration that Sonic saved my life from abuse and neglect from my parents, bullies, and the corrupted USA education system, and it absolutely breaks my heart to see all this detraction towards not only Sonic as a character, but the Sonic fandom as well! I love the Sonic community! I struggled with communication and socializing in my Middle School years post my parents divorce (around 2004) but the online Sonic Community helped to fill that void of loneliness for me. And the view of the Sonic fandom was far different than what it is today. We were treated just like any other fandom, but now we're the target for bullying just because of a few bad apples. And the most frustrating thing is that it's nerds who are bullying us. Again, normies IRL don't have this stupid superiority complex that I see a lot of these teenage/Man-child Mario fans have. Most people on YouTube just assume that I'm stupid just for having a Sonic avatar which especially hurts because I've obtained a Bachelor's degree despite my learning disability, and there are people out there who want me dead just because I like Sonic more than Mario. Over time, I just reached my limit and was sick of being the nice guy and having this "Sonic games suck and Nintendo is perfect!" BS shoved down my throat on a daily basis. I was so happy when Nintendo was struggling with the Wii U; For once, the gaming industry was giving Nintendo proper criticism and not blindly worshipping them as usual. IGN's little video saying "Sonic was never good" was the last straw for me and so I joined in on the Wii U hate bandwagon and was a Switch detractor. Of course, karma came my way in 2018 with the Mario vs Sonic 2018 Death Battle where I was harassed on my YouTube channel after giving a live-reaction by all these stupid teenagers and man-children who have probably never kissed a girl in their life but believe that "winning" arguments online makes them look smart and tough! And what's worse is that I can never escape from this painful memory because Mario/Nintendo is everywhere, even in places that has nothing to do with nerd stuff. Even in this simple video about catching internet predators that I watched this morning, the hosts decided to dress up as the Mario Bros! Of course, if they decided to dress up as Sonic & Tails, they would probably be mocked and called weirdos or furries or something. <_< I HATE THE NERD COMMUNITY but I want to love nerd stuff again, I just feel so heart-broken and ashamed of myself.

Possibly NSFW Online Predator Video

[TheBreaker3321]

I am both a Nintendo and Sega fanboy. Owning that term has freed me in ways that I never thought possible.

But, yes, people need to learn that words do make impacts.

I know if people wanted help Sonic get better, then they would've done so ages ago.

[OtakuHedgehog]

On 11/21/2023 at 6:52 PM, TheBreaker3321 said:

I am both a Nintendo and Sega fanboy. Owning that term has freed me in ways that I never thought possible.

But, yes, people need to learn that words do make impacts.

I know if people wanted help Sonic get better, then they would've done so ages ago.

I see where you're coming from. The thing though is, at least Sonic fans aren't close-minded and will give other games like Mario a chance. Nintendo fans on the other hand are extremely close-minded and have a superiority complex that infuriates me. Back in 2007 when Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games was revealed, I tried opening myself to the Nintendo Community and Nintendo games despite the BS that Nintendo fanboys put me through for being excited for Sonic 06 in the year prior. In addition, I was stoked for the upcoming Super Smash Bros. Brawl where a lot of us were hoping that Sonic would make the final cut. I even made videos promoting the 'Sonic for Brawl' campaign way back in 2007. Even back then before the reputation of the Sonic fandom went down the toilet, I got so much harassment from Nintendo Elitists. They treat me like I'm some kind of insect/pest and said that they hate me for suggesting Sonic to be put in the game for fear of it getting delayed. And their delusional egos are as big as the Sun, they spit up crap to mock us by saying "Sonic hasn't had a decent game since 1994. Sad, but true." or "That blue rat just needs to die, he was never a match for any Nintendo IP", or "The Sonic Community is toxic, I don't want them to pollute the Smash Community". And even after Sonic was announced for Brawl, the Nintendo Elitists still didn't quit! They continued to shout crap like "Yeah, now I get to punch that blue rat!" How can I engage with a community that hates me just because I like a particular video game character?

And it infuriates me to see that the nerd community calls Sonic fans toxic. Well why don't people take a look at the community who sent Jim Sterling death threats for giving Zelda BotW a 7/10 (which isn't even a bad score) or smashed PS4's in protest of the announcement of Genshin Impact for "ripping-off Zelda BotW" (Which it didn't, and their temper tantrum did nothing but help to promote the game). I know I screwed up big time by becoming an internet troll and seeking revenge against the Nintendo community, but after going through years of harassment from this fandom, and having the face of that community constantly being compared to the character that you're passionate about, and then being told on a daily basis by the nerd community that you're toxic/stupid just for liking that character, you eventually reach a breaking point. Even amongst fellow Sonic fans, they were looking at me like I'm crazy or something just because I said that Nintendo isn't perfect in that 'Sega wants Sonic to catch up to Mario' thread (under the name of Mephiles' Disciple) and this stupid detraction panel at the 2019 Fanime convention just shattered my heart. Even the anime community hates Sonic fans. I used to be so passionate about anime that I studied abroad in Japan for a few weeks when I was in college, but this panel really hurt my love for anime. I was stupid and attended the panel because I wanted to be the hero and "defend Sonic's honor" but I just ended up hurting my pride. Even the Panelist speaker pointed me out saying "look at this guy with a Sonic hat!" And of course the jerk has to compare Sonic to Mario and bring up Chris-Chan. :(

Edit: And these jerks just don't quit! They made another panel at the 2023 YumeCon. If there was a submission for a detraction panel for any other franchise, it would probably be rejected, but because it's Sonic, everyone wants to join the hate bandwagon. And it would be one thing if they were just hating on the character, but they have to go a step further and say that the fans are stupid and compare us to Chris-Chan. This really pisses me off because I'm on the spectrum, despite that, I've overcome the odds and graduated from college with a bachelor's degree and even got to study abroad in Japan. Imagine putting all this time and energy to make a presentation just to hate on a group of people who are not hurting anyone? Their YouTube channel name is 'Fifth Gen is not Pokemon', judging from that, I'm assuming they're Pokemon fans. So why is it ok for grown men to enjoy Pokemon, but I'm considered toxic for liking Sonic? Not to mention that Pokemon is a Nintendo franchise, of course <_<. See this is why I became a troll, I'm just so sick and tired of being harassed for being a Sonic fan and even when I'm avoiding nerdy stuff, I can't escape from Mario. Mario references/merchandise is EVERYWHERE, I'm in a never ending Hell!
 

 

Edited November 26, 2023 by OtakuHedgehog

[Monkey Destruction Switch]

It sounds like you've been through a lot and I'm sorry. Trauma and mental health issues can make anyone's life extremely difficult. I don't think I'm able to properly address that much of what you've said, but I just want to say that you don't have to feel like you're defined by your past or your shame for feeling like you've wasted time. Every day is a new opportunity for growth and for a new perspective on life. I know it's far easier said than done, but try not to give too much mental head space to aggressive people online or Sonic haters in general. I believe you mentioned in that other thread that you have some sort of therapy, which is good. I'm not saying it's easy, but to find happiness, we all have to learn not to be defined by other's opinions.

[OtakuHedgehog]

2 hours ago, Monkey Destruction Switch said:

It sounds like you've been through a lot and I'm sorry. Trauma and mental health issues can make anyone's life extremely difficult. I don't think I'm able to properly address that much of what you've said, but I just want to say that you don't have to feel like you're defined by your past or your shame for feeling like you've wasted time. Every day is a new opportunity for growth and for a new perspective on life. I know it's far easier said than done, but try not to give too much mental head space to aggressive people online or Sonic haters in general. I believe you mentioned in that other thread that you have some sort of therapy, which is good. I'm not saying it's easy, but to find happiness, we all have to learn not to be defined by other's opinions.

Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I am in therapy and I actually have my weekly video appointment with my therapist in 2 hours. It's no exaggeration that the 2018 Mario vs Sonic Death Battle changed my life. All throughout college (2010-2015) I was inspired by content creators on YouTube who not only make a living by playing video games, they're even invited to big gaming studios like SEGA to hang out! One of the first things I tried doing after college was to get back into YouTube and become a professional content creator. For the majority of 2017 and 2018 I was doing simple playthroughs of video games and only getting a few views at a time, which I was fine with because I was building a community with regular returning viewers, but after nearly 2 years of dedication and hard work, hardly getting any traffic, all Hell breaks lose the moment I make a live-reaction and say that I believe that Sonic should have beaten Mario in the 2018 Death Battle. I was called every name in the book by these Mario clowns and they actually believe that "winning" online debates makes them look smart and tough or something. And when I block them, they'll laugh and say "I wonder how many Sonic fans blocked me, lol", and then other Mario fanboys back them up. If I block the Mario fanboys, I'm called a coward; If I defend Sonic, then I'm called toxic. It's a lose-lose situation.

Worst of all, whenever I got harassed by Sonic haters, I would often waste time and go on my troll account and harass them back, but I could never crack this Cortex guy, he laughed at my 90-minute Death Battle debunk video calling it "90-minutes of trash" while other Mario fans joined in harassing me; And he laughed at my Troll persona calling my Nintendo detraction videos crap. Cortex damaged both my Sonic and Troll personas and I felt so humiliated and defeated. Of course, the worst part was when he said that I have a "mental problem" and that "no one watches me" because I saw him whining when Knuckles beat Wario on a Death Battle One-Minute Melee and I wanted to take a shot back at him, but it back-fired as a Wario fanboy showed up to defend Cortex and make fun of me for having a Sonic avatar despite the fact that he had a Wario avatar. The "mental problem" comment really bothered me because I'm on the spectrum and have struggled a lot with learning and the education system. Meanwhile Cortex is so stuck up and arrogant, he harasses EVERY Sonic fan he could find in the Mario vs Sonic comments section making responses like "Can you prove it?", "LMAO, nice joke, anyone with common sense knows Mario would destroy Sonic", "Hah, that's cute. Sonic can't scratch Mario. Mario is multiversal because he defeated Dreamy Bowser". He even had "Proving fanboys wrong with facts and logic since 1996!" Acting as if arguing and being a jerk online makes him look cool or something, and Mario fanboys support him. And when I try to ignore/block people like him, other Mario fans just laugh and mock me claiming that I "gave up". Jeez, at least when I was a Nintendo-Hating troll, I didn't go to people's YouTube channels and call their content trash or call them stupid. I just made videos hoping that the Switch would fail because Nintendo fanboys are just so arrogant, close-minded, and hate Sonic and other platforming franchises that I grew up with. And again, that comment from way back in 2006 with people on the Cream forum saying "Nintendo's not weak, Sega is weak, they're the ones who don't make consoles anymore!" Really got under my skin because I'd do anything to be able to experience Sonic and Sega in their glory days when they were on top of the world! I was born in the wrong decade, I wish I was born in 1987 or somewhere around there.

Anyway, the backlash of my Mario vs Sonic debunk video absolutely devastated me and shattered my heart. And to think, I made my gaming channel to show my love for anime and video games, but it ended up destroying my love for this media, so I'm now on a spiritual journey to try and get my passion back. I know people will give me the ole 'Sticks & Stones' speech, but the thing is, this just wasn't 1 or 2 people hating on me, it was a whole community who not just called me stupid for my opinion, they called me racial slurs and wanted me dead ALL OVER A VIDEO GAME CHARACTER! And it just so happens that this video game character is EVERYWHERE! So I'm in this constant mental Hell where my dream of becoming a YouTuber was shattered (Although, I am making a comeback now, but if this backlash never happened, I'd be far more further along on my YouTube career by now). And it baffles me that nerds say that the Sonic community is toxic. I began ruminating and obsessing over all the hate throughout 2019 and ended up making the 90-minute debunk video to "prove" to these Mario fanboys that I'm not stupid. Mind you, the majority of comments were positive, but the few really hurtful comments from people like Cortex just really bugged me and caused me to leave YouTube and soul-search for the next few years as my lack of growth was starting to burn me out in addition to Cortex's comments saying "no one watches me". On the bright side, 4 years later, the Cortex jerk has deleted all of his comments and I'm back on YouTube with a channel that's been exploding this past year as I found a niche in uploading videos of Super Smash Bros Ultimate mods. And I always have Sonic mods beat Mario mods on the 1v1 fights like in this video. ^_^ (If I'm violating a self-advertising rule, a Mod can delete this video, just look for 'Sonic Mod Mayhem: A Tribute to 16 Years of Sonic in Super Smash Bros.' on YouTube)

 

[SolidSurgeTT]

Homina

Edited December 6, 2023 by SolidSurgeTT
Post is too insensitve for this thread

[OtakuHedgehog]

On 12/5/2023 at 4:24 PM, SolidSurgeTT said:

Homina

Sorry, I don't understand what you mean by that?

[SolidSurgeTT]

I wrote something different then edited it because I realized it wasn't very fitting for the thread.

[OtakuHedgehog]

Sorry for reviving this old thread, if it gets locked for this then so be it, but I had to get this off of my chest.

Here's a perfect example of why I became a troll to defend Sonic. I was just browsing on YouTube minding my own business today and then I see Ricky Berwick makes a comedic "review" video of Sonic Unleashed, and throughout the video and chatroom, there's comments about how liking Sonic makes you Autistic. WTF does Sonic have to do with Autism? And of course the guy has Mario merchandise in the background, and people in the comments section just HAVE TO bring up Chris-Chan and Sonicchu (I CANNOT STAND IT when people do that!). See the thing is, I don't look for Sonic hate, Sonic hate looks for me. And this is especially annoying because I'm on the spectrum! Despite my learning disability though, I was able to graduate from a university debt-free and even win scholarships to study abroad in Japan. No one in the nerd community cares about that though, if they see that I like Sonic, then they automatically think that I'm stupid and beneath them and it just sucks. I miss the 90s and early 2000s, back then people were not this rude and judgement to others just because they like Sonic, and I doubt any of these haters are millionaires or driving a lambo, just because I like Sonic, that doesn't make me inferior to other nerds!