Dumb Theory: Maria Robotnik is Samus Aran

[MetalSkulkBane]

Hear me out!

They both blond, wearing blue, raised in space.

We know nothing about Maria's parents. Meanwhile we don't know anything about Samus lineage except that her parents were killed by Ridley.

In both Sonic and Metroid it's established that Birds are highly advanced alien specie.

One of Samus most iconic moves is turning into a ball, which isn't very bird-like, but it is hedgehog-like.

Samus is relentlessly chased by Ridley, black alien of still uknown specie, but confirmed to eat human flesh.

So here's my mad theory: Maria = Aran

Chozo Alien was looking for off-shoot of his specie (Babylonians) only to find ARK. He witnessed the tragedy of Shadow origins and took pity on Maria, taking dying girl (and her parents) to space, far away from planet which hurt her so (due to NIDS she couldn't live there anyway). Only way to save her live was DNA transfusion. Maria either doesn't remember her past or is intentionally trying to forget it (after all Gerald is dead and Shadow seems as well), thus changing the name to Samus. Still, her (dormant?) memories of Shadow inspired her to be a hero and also to develop technique based on Spin Attack (aka Morph Ball).

Optional Part: Black Doom wanted revenge on whole Robotnik Lineage, so he sent his special Agent, Ridley after her. Similarly to Archie's Eclipse, Ridley is different from rest of his race and is not part of the hive-mind, thus capable of making his own decisions (like taking over a Space Pirates), but ultimately he is driven to take down his target: Samus.

I know it's silly but I just HAD TO share it.

[Hero of Legend]

Hey, any theory tying Sonic and Nintendo together always gets my seal of approval! :P

[Salamander]

Blue/yellow is probably just colour theory, but I like the coincidence all the same, and connecting the Morph Ball to the spin attack is pretty inspired.  I don't know, more or less dumb than my semi-joke theory that Maria grows up to be Witchcart?

[Blue Blood]

But where does Sarah Bryant fit into the equation? 

[MetalSkulkBane]

2 minutes ago, Blue Blood said:

But where does Sarah Bryant fit into the equation? 

Sarah was born 1973, so currently she's Maria's younger sister or even a niece.

But give two decades of sliding timescale and we can retcon her into mother, who fought Ridley to the death.

41 minutes ago, Salamander said:

my semi-joke theory that Maria grows up to be Witchcart?

I think Shadow would try to blow up the planet again.

[Shade Vortex]

This literally makes zero sense. Normally, I don't really care enough to shoot down fan theories because they can be interesting or fun when well thought out well and they don't actively and willingly ignore the canon to 'make them work', but you're extrapolating some pretty minor similarities into some pretty far-fetched, stretched connections whilst also actively ignoring actively canon aspects that immediately disprove the theory without a shadow of a doubt.

For one thing, Maria is canonically dead, and did not live past the age of 12. Even if she weren't shot dead by the military, (which is confirmed to have happened not just by Shadow, Black Doom, Eggman, and Gerald, but by the GUN commander who has no reason to lie about the very reason he wants to take revenge against Shadow) and her disease was going to guarantee she would not ever have lived to be an adult, something Samus clearly achieved.

It's awfully convenient that you suggest that some random alien sent by the Black Arms would redundantly kidnap and save Maria when Shadow's whole existence was created via a mutually-beneficial experiment for Gerald and Black Doom to give Gerald a chance at the cure he needed for her and give Black Doom the powerful weapon he needed in order to make his conquest over planets and people much more effective. And the bitter and sad irony that ended up being that not even Shadow could cure Maria's disease. So if the experiment that Black Doom himself was involved with for the express purpose of doing that couldn't do it when also combined with the remarkable genius of Gerald (somebody who even the 400 IQ Eggman looks up to), then no, some random foot soldier of that very same army isn't going to miraculously accomplish that goal in secret.

Samus was an orphan from a  young age, something that clearly wasn't the case for Maria- she at least had Gerald, and likely was only kept up in space away from her parents to protect her from the disease, which affected her immune system...

Metroid's lore, planets, and species are very well documented. Samus was from a colony called K-2L, which sure, you could say was the Space Colony ARK. But the two are simply not the same.

Sorry to ruin the fun, I guess, but I take lore/canon seriously when discussing theories.

Edited August 6 by Shade Vortex

[Blue Blood]

5 minutes ago, Shade Vortex said:

This literally makes zero sense. Normally, I don't really care enough to shoot down fan theories because they can be interesting or fun when well thought out well and they don't actively and willingly ignore the canon to 'make them work', but you're extrapolating some pretty minor similarities into some pretty far-fetched, stretched connections whilst also actively ignoring actively canon aspects that immediately disprove the theory without a shadow of a doubt.

For one thing, Maria is canonically dead, and did not live past the age of 12. Even if she weren't shot dead by the military, (which is confirmed to have happened not just by Shadow, Black Doom, Eggman, and Gerald, but by the GUN commander who has no reason to lie about the very reason he wants to take revenge against Shadow) and her disease was going to guarantee she would not ever have lived to be an adult, something Samus clearly achieved.

It's awfully convenient that you suggest that some random alien sent by the Black Arms would redundantly kidnap and save Maria when Shadow's whole existence was created via a mutually-beneficial experiment for Gerald and Black Doom to give Gerald a chance at the cure he needed for her and give Black Doom the powerful weapon he needed in order to make his conquest over planets and people much more effective. And the bitter and sad irony that ended up being that not even Shadow could cure Maria's disease. So if the experiment that Black Doom himself was involved with for the express purpose of doing that couldn't do it when also combined with the remarkable genius of Gerald (somebody who even the 400 IQ Eggman looks up to), then no, some random foot soldier of that very same army isn't going to miraculously accomplish that goal in secret.

Samus was an orphan from a  young age, something that clearly wasn't the case for Maria- she at least had Gerald, and likely was only kept up in space away from her parents to protect her from the disease, which affected her immune system...

Metroid's lore, planets, and species are very well documented. Samus was from a colony called K-2L, which sure, you could say was the Space Colony ARK. But you could also say the Earth could be flat, and you would be provably wrong.

Sorry to ruin the fun, I guess, but I take lore/canon seriously when discussing theories.

This isn't supposed to be an actual theory, it's not meant to be anything other that "hey look at these similarities I noticed I'mma try to hodge-podge together a story for fun".

I legit couldn't give a toss about fan theories either. But it's tongue in cheek, harmless fun and all of the issues you've mentioned in your micro-essay are known and accounted for. They don't fucking matter. 

[MetalSkulkBane]

I'm fully aware this theory has holes like swiss chesse, basically demanding to ignore a lot of Metroid Lore (EXTENDED lore, mind you. I'm 66% sure games don't talk in-depth about Samus past).

However I want to correct one thing.

25 minutes ago, Shade Vortex said:

It's awfully convenient that you suggest that some random alien sent by the Black Arms would....

I said CHOZO. A bird alien, possibly with some ties to Ancient Babylonians. No connection to Black Doom, far more advanced technologically. That's at least 1/3 of your post irrelevant.

[Shade Vortex]

Even then, the Babylonians have no provable connection to Maria, and the only connection they even shared with Eggman is through his attempt to control them and use their technology; something that connects almost every race in the Sonic world considering that Eggman is an megalomaniac genius who will use anything and everything to his advantage to gain the upper hand. They were high tech, but all of their tech relates to AI/robotics and sports, and nothing medical or DNA related that I can think of. What reason would they even have to save a random ill child even if they were capable of doing so?

And you're still using extrapolation and basic similarities to provide an evidence of connection or even to say the things are the same. So because both are bird aliens, and because Ridley and Black Doom are both Black, and because Samus and Maria are both blonde with blue eyes they have to be the same? That kind of thinking is potentially problematic. I'm sure I don't have to explain why...

Edited August 6 by Shade Vortex

[MetalSkulkBane]

7 hours ago, Shade Vortex said:

That kind of thinking is potentially problematic. I'm sure I don't have to explain why...

...that's a very weird phrasing.

I know my theory is silly and shallow, twisting reality to lead to potentially fun scenarios. I did put 'dumb' in the tittle.

But I don't think it's 'problematic'.

[Blue Blood]

9 hours ago, Shade Vortex said:

... and because Samus and Maria are both blonde with blue eyes they have to be the same? That kind of thinking is potentially problematic. I'm sure I don't have to explain why...

Yes, you do have to to explain why this dumb fun piece of fanon that @MetalSkulkBane created to link two of his favourite series is in any way problematic. The two series in question share some thematic elements that aren't hard to tie together, but you've decided to take it upon yourself as lorekeeper to shit on everything. And now you're trying to play the moral high-ground by claiming that drawing an allegory between two characters with similar design traits is racist or some shit.

Just stop. 

[Rabid-Coot]

I feel the front page topic cut-off makes for a better dumb theory.

Dumb Theory: Maria Robot