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What’s Your Perfect Pet? The Answer Will Shock You

no it not a f’n dog.
By Big the Cat, April 1 2016


People like animals. Norton said that to me once, and so I am doing a cynical and making a page dedicated to animals. I will get all the hits and then I can buy that turbo-accelerated fishing reel I’ve had my eye on. Hee. But no, let’s be truth here; we are all animals at the end of the day. I, literally, am an animal. That probably surprised you, right?

But we also like pets, right? Pets Dog Animal Stroking Pedigree Chum. I just did Espio. Wait… what’s that Froggy? Oh. Sorry. I meant ESO. So by doing this calculation I can tell you what your perfect pet is going to be. Try it and see.

Think of a number between 1 and 7

bigfeed-pet-1

Divide by 2

bigfeed-pet-2

Add your age

bigfeed-pet-3

Multiply by 1 if you have a cat, by 2 if you have a dog

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Minus 12.

bigfeed-pet-5

Eat a raisin.

bigfeed-pet-raisin

Find the square root of the number of calories in that raisin and multiply that to your total

bigfeed-pet-6

Got all that? Now if you got…

0-100: Your Favourite Pet is a FROG

bigfeed-pet-frog1

101-1,000: Your Favourite Pet is a FROG

bigfeed-pet-frog2

1,001-10,000: Your Favourite Pet is a FROG

bigfeed-pet-frog3

10,001-infinity: Your Favourite Pet is a FROG

bigfeed-pet-frog4

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