I hate you Google Image. I put two Sonic characters in your search bar and you provide me with these horrifying images of Sonic couples. The safe search, it does nothing! Why are they inflated?! Why are they centaurs?! Why are those things a fetish?! GAAAAAH!
Anyway, it’s Valentine’s day, love (or some other foul stench) is in the air and it’s the perfect time to talk about everyone’s favorite Sonic relationships. While I’m sure there are many of you who like to ship their own fictional Sonic couples be it straight, gay or “call the police”, I wanted to focus on the ones that have been made official or even semi-official through the games, comics or cartoons be they full blown couples or just one-sided love interests. I’m not much of a shipper myself, but I wanted to look at them from a writer’s perspective to see what works about them. So in no particular order, here’s my list of what I personally think are the best couples in the Sonic Universe.
Knuckles and Rouge
From the Sonic Adventure 2 soundtrack…
Yeah Rouge, she’s sexy and smooth.
A double-crossing thief that’s out for my jewel.
I feel for her in mysterious ways.
That’s why I stay on point like, every single day.
Knuckles is the guardian of the Master Emerald. A task handed down to him by his family that he honors greatly because he is the last of his kind. He’ll protect the Master Emerald with his life. Then comes in Rouge, while being a spy for G.U.N., her other hobbies include being a treasure hunter and a jewel thief. One of those jewels she has an eye on is the Master Emerald itself. This makes for a VERY interesting relationship as they are both enemies that are attracted to one another giving a Batman/Catwoman vibe. Knuckles finds her attractive, but can never fully trust her while Rouge will flirt with him any chance she can get if it gets her closer to her prize. Does Rouge actually have feeling for him or is he just an obstacle to overcome? Will Knuckles give in to temptation? Can they ever get together or will the Master Emerald keep them apart? Who knows?
Sonic and Sally (SATAM Only)
At one point in time, Sonic and Sally’s relationship was well written and warranted. Dr. Robotnik had completely taken over the world and the Freedom Fighters could only manage small victories for the most part. Even then, there would be times where they may shut down the power at Robotniks’ plant only to have his backup generators come online. They needed each other just to help cope with this post-apocalyptic world. They and the other Freedom Fighters were like family. She would help him try to be less impulsive and he would help her loosen up. You wanted them to find happiness in each other because there was so little happiness in their world.
Nowadays, it’s just not the same. In the comic, the full game cast is around, Eggman is usually on the losing end, Sally’s father has come back and their kingdom returned as well. In my eyes, there is no real need for this relationship as there once was and when it does come up, it tends to drag the book down horribly. “Oh no! What will Sally wear on her first date with Sonic in over a year?!” Who the hell cares? Plus if she wasn’t a……..I’m gonna say it, Mary-Sue before, she sure is now. Always perfect, always self-sacrificing. When she feels bad and sobs, everyone has to feel sorry for her and pat her on the shoulder. It makes for a boring character. Sonic’s arrogant, Knuckles is gullible, Amy’s immature, where’s her flaws? Being too perfect?
I know there are many of you that are still fans of Sonic and Sally’s relationship in the comics and that’s fine, that’s great but I wonder just how much of that is holding on to what you loved in the cartoon rather than what’s in the book now? If you feel I’m wrong, let me know in the comments. I’d like to hear your side of this issue.
Eggman and Ella (Sonic X Comic)
Awww yeah! Make way for some B&B (big and beautiful) lovin’! One is near 300lbs of cellulite sexiness and the other is…Ella the maid. In Sonic X #34, after bribing his way into winning a contest for a pool party at the Thorndike’s home (the same Thorndikes he kidnapped a few issues before), Eggman was looking for Grandpa Chucks’ latest powerful engine he was keeping in his garage at the residence. This plan came to an abrupt end for him when he spotted the Thorndike’s maid Ella in a one piece bikini. He immediately became love struck, but his affections were not met in return. However, Ella did have a crush on Eggman’s luchador persona “El Gran Gordo” (NOTE: The Sonic X comics were really silly) making for a Superman/Lois-type love triangle. Unfortunately, this came at the end of the series, so it went no further. A shame since this kind of romantic situation could have proven most humorous, especially if it had happened in the cartoon as both characters were voiced by Mike Pollock.
Sonic and Amy Rose
Ah, the eternal chase! If there’s one thing Amy’s never kept secret, it’s her love for Sonic. If there’s one thing Sonic hasn’t kept secret, it’s that he’s just not interested in her like that….at least for now. Sonic is a free spirit who does not want to be tied down by anyone and Amy wants him to marry her….at the ripe old age of twelve. So what makes this One-sided relationship work? Their friendship in part. Sonic doesn’t hate Amy or push her away (unless she’s glomping onto him), he just sees her as a close (if a bit scary at times) friend. Amy keeps trying to get Sonic to be closer to her, but in the meantime, she has become a bit more independent and has become an adventurer in her own right. It’s as if she’s trying to make herself more desirable through self-improvement.
There’s some symbiosis here. Sonic keeping Amy at a distance makes her try harder to be more mature while Amy’s love for Sonic helps feed his ego. It’d be interesting to see what would happen if she actually ignored him for a while. Would that sudden lack of worship make him come after her? You kinda want them to get together and yet you don’t because it would ruin the dynamic they have. Yet if there’s one thing Amy has, it’s time. Sure, she’s too young and immature for Sonic now, but that will probably change over time even if we, the audience never get to see it. Sonic and Amy, keeping it platonic whether she wants it to or not.
Vector and Vanilla (Sonic X Japanese Cut)
If you have only seen the 4Kids cut of Sonic X, you have missed this interesting dynamic to Vector’s character. In the original cut, Vector and the Chaotix went out into space to deliver some supplies to Sonic’s ship and to check up on Cream as a favor to Vanilla just because Vector’s a nice guy. In the Japanese cut, Vector does this favor because of a deep crush he has for Cream’s mom, going so far as to kidnap Cream in an attempt to bring her back to her mother. In the final episode, Vanilla rewards the Chaotix for their efforts with a large amount of pastries she made that they happily wolf down. Later, Vanilla and Vector go walking off together side by side.
I’ll be honest, this is my personal favorite Sonic couple. There’s a very interesting “opposites attract” romantic angle here that could make for some fun stories. Vanilla appears to be fairly wealthy and is very cultured and mannerly whereas Vector is a poor, uncouth slob. Not only that, they’re on opposite ends of the food chain (although I doubt Mobians eat each other in that world. Maybe the Flickies). It makes me like Vector’s character even more. He’s a guy who really reaches for the stars in spite of his own shortcomings. He became a fledgling detective despite not being very bright and he fell in love with a woman that’s high above his own class. It’s a shame this pairing came along at the very end of the series and only in Japan because I would have loved to see where they would have gone with it.
Antoine and Bunnie (Rabbot) Decollete
I think if there’s one pairing out of all the Sonic couples that no one has an objection to, it’s this one. In the SATAM cartoon, Antoine was a cowardly coyote who was played up as a romantic rival to Sonic for Sally’s affections. However, he was also the comic relief and was made so very annoyingly cowardly and inept that it became obvious he had no chance with Sally at all. This became very apparent in the second season when he became so annoying you just wanted to punch him in the face.
In the comic’s though, his character slowly matured into a brave soldier that would willingly sacrifice himself for the greater good. This was in large part due to his relationship with Bunnie Rabbot. Before Antoine finally gave up on Sally and turned his attention on Bunnie, he was just poor comic relief that was starting to become an irritating character. Bunnie helped mature him into a soldier and he showed her a very strong love despite half her body being mechanical. Both characters matured and evolved in the comics because of their strong love for one another through good times and bad. It’s rare that a relationship can be so well done that characters are much improved together than apart, but this is one of those rare occasions. I doubt there’s many that disagree that Antoine and Bunnie are one of if not the best Sonic couple.
So which couple is your favorite? Lets us know in the comments below.
Seriously though, what’s with the characters as centaurs? Why is that a thing?!