Let’s be (or “bee”) honest here….nobody cares for Charmy Bee much (and yes, I’m sure that there are some who’d say otherwise and like my head on a platter. All three of them).
What is he good for? What does he even do at the Chaotix? Is he their secretary? Vector’s youthful ward? Does that helmet thing even come off of his head? What?! He hasn’t been a playable character since Sonic Heroes and even then he was just one of three you controlled at the same time. He has no real personality so you can’t even relate to him in any way. Look at the other kids. Tails? Young super genius. Cream? Polite little girl who tends to have the strongest morals. Marine? Immature, bratty little girl who annoys people because she’s probably lonely and seeks attention. Charmy? Little boy. That’s it. (Not counting Sonic X where he at least had a Bart Simpson-like “prankster” personality.) Frankly, just listening to him gives me the hives.
At least the comics give you a reason to feel sorry for him. Lots of reasons. This poor little bastard’s life has been absolute hell. Read on to see why life as a bee can totally suck. But beeware honey, his tale is so tragic it may sting your eyes.
5. Him and his Best Friends/apparent legal guardians are always dirt poor
Okay, let’s look at this. We know that in the game world (and Sonic X), Vector and Espio seem to be super poor. Vector owes money to some guy named “Big Louie” (and Little Louie too), Eggman (Sonic Heroes) Vanilla (Sonic X) have been their only known clients and basically Charmy is their secretary. Since Charmy’s always seen with them, I’m guessing one of them possibly adopted Charmy to get by child labor laws. Hell, Eggman never even paid them. At least Vanilla paid them in food (which they desperately needed). How do they keep up the rent or not starve to death? My guess is that they keep Charmy in a dank, dark back room most of the time manufacturing as much honey as they can to sell.
…Why does Vector have debts anyway? You ‘d think having a ninja as a BFF (or BF if VEDJ-F had her way), he could just send Espio out to deal with any loan sharks.
4. He and his childhood friend took “LSD” and his friend died from it
The first of many of Charmy’s friends/relations to bite the big one, Mello died of food poisoning from an additive called “Lemon Sundrop Dandilion” (REAL F***ING SUBTLE!) put in by the park’s evil owner Renfield T. Rodent (a slight parody of Chuck E. Cheese) as an addictive substance, but it was hard to make right and people died instead. Knuckles, Julie-Su and the Chaotix did an investigation not knowing what caused the boy’s death only to have most of them taste the food and end up poisoned as well including Charmy who was totally tripping…bees. The moral of the story is don’t…accidentally do drugs? I know the whole “L.S.D.” thing is supposed to be an anti-drug message but it doesn’t work. No one was looking to do drugs, nor was anyone addicted to drugs so why bring up LSD in that very unsubtle way? Makes no sense.
3. His family and whole kingdom were killed off by Eggman
With the Archie authors not content with just killing off ONE of his bee friends, Charmy’s whole kingdom/colony was destroyed by Dr. Eggman. Leaving just Charmy and his GF/fiancé’ (he was 16/17 in the original cannon of the comics) as the only surviving members of that colony. If killing off a good chunk of his race wasn’t enough, well……
2. He got brain damage
Eggman went and did a full on assault on the Acorn kingdom kidnapping most of Sonic’s friends and putting them in his egg-grape chambers to have their life energy zapped to fuel his machines. So who was first on the chopping block? None other than Charmy Bee. Sonic managed to save the day, but not before Charmy got zapped pretty hard by the egg grapes, leaving his memory in shambles and possibly mentally challenged.
So why would Archie Comics do this to poor Charmy? Most likely it was Sega mandates. After all, Charmy Bee is six years old in the video games, but thanks to a mistake in the American Knuckles Chaotix manual, Charmy was assumed to be 16 years old instead. Archie Comics decided to correct this mistake not by retconning Charmy, but giving him brain damage instead. Because as we all know, brain damaged people are like six year olds, right? Actually, no and I find that pretty dang offensive. Even Archie Sonic writer Ian Flynn regretted how the retcon turned out. Fortunately, that bit of awkwardness should be fully retconned with the “new 252” reboot currently going on.
1. His girlfriend and only other known bee was taken away from him as well
Well, his family and bee friends may be all dead, his brain shattered but at least he’s got his girlfriend to grow old with, right?….Right?
Wrong. With Ken Penders having won his copyrights to his old characters including Saffron, Archie was basically forced to get rid of any of Penders creations out of the comic continuity so, while Charmy was a mission with the other Chaotix, Thrash the Tasmanian Devil (who has a vendetta against all echidnas) basically scooped all the echidnas left into a warp ring that sent them into another dimension. This includes Julie-Su and (non-echidna) Saffron. Knuckles chased him all over the place but to no avail leaving Charmy one of the last known bees on Mobius.
Hey, Cheer up Charmy! You still don’t have it as bad as some others. I could make a top 20 on why it sucks to be poor Knuckles.
Stay tuned in two weeks for five of Sonic’s most hated friends who have become likable over time.
Jason’s opinions in this article bee of his own accord and while his words may sting some, they do not necessarily reflect those of the Sonic Stadium staff. After all, we are not hive-minded here.