Snow Joke: This is a SA2HD Review… By The Sun’s Standards

It was a fine Friday evening… until our own Shadzter found this on the web.

Say what you will about how you feel towards Sonic Adventure 2, whether you find it to be the best or worst game ever, but I think we can all find some common ground when it comes to the questionable quality of this… “review”?

I don’t know, am I actually allowed to call it that?

Sonic Adventure 2, PSN/XBLA/ £6.49/800MS Points

Snow joke … Tails tackles mountain

THEY say never go back for a reason.

This was a great game more than ten years ago – a release to celebrate the tenth anniversary of the Sonic franchise in 2001.

It was the final Sonic title to come out on Sega hardware and was the best game on the Dreamcast.

You get what you expect with Sonic. Speed, rings and corny voices.

Not something to rush out and get, unless you’re feeling particularly nostalgic, or you harbour a determination to play all of the Sonic games.

3/5

Little to no pertinent information concerning the topic, barely any details, no insight into the subject matter, not getting their facts straight… Wow, thought I was reading something from Fox News for a sec!

Where’s the professionalism? Why did the reviewer not talk about the actual game? No effort’s been applied into this “unreview” (that’s much better). And funny, I don’t recall Ice Cap being in Adventure 2… or Tails being outside of his mech for that matter! Either the reviewer didn’t know which game he was playing or that’s some falsifying right there.

Never thought I’d be the one nitpicking anything! I mean really, how is this even a review? Where was this published? I mean, it’s not like it’s been written for a paper that’s sold in droves nationwide, thus giving its country-sized base of readers a false impression on it or anything, right? Imagine if it would also be, for example, the UK’s most popular newspaper and it was constantly riddled with tabloid and gossip! That be bad news right there if it were real, right guys? HAHA!

The Sun?

…WELL THEN.

Published by

VizardJeffhog

Unparalleled Canadian greatness! Jeffrey is a writer for TSS and Gamnesia, a pianist obsessed with video game music, and a recent university graduate majoring in Communications. Loves all things Sonic and Nintendo to a fault.

43 Comments

  1. It was probably that one person from metacritic saying “i don’t have a ps3 and xbox360 but 06 looks great so 10/10” And dosent like this agme because NO NEXT GEN GRAPHICS

  2. “Tails tackles mountain”

    I remember the last time I tackles mountain. It was Snowdon, and I used the mountain railway… I had victory.

    1. Fun fact: The guy that owns the rights of this newspaper (The Sun) also owns the rights of Fox News in the states.

    1. It’s the best game on Dreamcast and it’s not worth playing? Guys, I think we have a Dreamcast hater on our hands!

    1. Glad someone here knows how bad Gligar is. 😛 They should feature him on the site, his reviews are so horrible it’s funny.

  3. I’m ashamed that I’m a Sun reader :/ That said, I don’t pay any attention to their gaming reviews.

    Well…first of all, that pic is from SADX, not SA2. They don’t actually state anything about the game; what it’s about, its special features (Chao Gardens, multiplayer battling etc.), the multiple playable characters etc. And “they say never go back for a reason”…the hell is that supposed to mean?

  4. Apart from an obviously opinionated statement like “best game on the Dreamcast”, exactly what part of this is falsified or factually incorrect besides the hardly necessary or relevant screenshot?

    Why is no one pointing out the one problem with this review besides it’s brevity and lack of depth?

    What really makes this ridiculous is that the first half of the review heaps praises on the game, and then the writer turns around and says there’s no good reason to play it and tops it off with a mediocre score. That’s what has ME scratching my head.

  5. The Sun writes to a reading age of 10. Fact! So what do you expect?!

    From my personal point of view – as someone who had NEVER played SA2 before the PS3 re-release (the only sonic game I never played / owned!) I would have to say that 3/5 is about right. I can handle the graphics, acting, even the story – which I hate due to the heavy human / “military” involvement (A FAR, FAR, FAR cry from the Original Sonic games’ plots and settings!), there is simply too much “crap” in regards to gameplay.

    I wanted lots of fast, fun, bright and busy Sonic stages – I get a game where over 2/3s of it are filled with rubbish “shoot-em-up” levels and boring “treasure hunting” levels- and don’t even get me started on “mad space”! I could handle SA1, it was ok, as most of the stages were about speed, but this game – ugh.

    And the Chaos – what a waste of time, I want a sonic game for speed and challenge, not a bloody RPG!!!

    Sorry, but I had more fun with Unleashed and (whisper it) Sonic 06 than this!!

    1. oh, buy the way, this is from someone who has been playing sonic since 1991 on both the Master System and Mega Drive!!

    2. “The Sun writes to a reading age of 10. Fact! So what do you expect?!”
      They have topless model pics on page 3 and on the page 3 section of their website. Somehow I think they’re catering to people older than 10.

      1. Of course they are!! but thye write thier articles to the reading age of a ten year old…..not they are targeting 10 year olds. People can have reading ages above / below thier actual age…..its why the UK Gov keep going on about literacy in schools, and why childern are behind in thier reading ages. Some Adults have reading ages of as low, as a 14 year olds, some 12, others maybe lower.

        Work out for yourself what type of “adult” has a reading age of a 10/12/14 year old or who is lazy enough to lower themselves to reading such dross / would consider reading such a rag of lies and filth.

        Not for me sorry!

  6. This just goes to show how much the general public cares about Sonic these days (i.e. not one damn bit).

    This “review” almost seems to be intentionally half-assed. Heck, the pricks at Game Informer loathe Sonic now, but at least they put effort in their hatred. This…this is just lazy.

    Look, if you don’t care about a game, don’t review it. It’s that simple. Don’t pull this crap.

    1. It’s The Sun. Don’t use a trash tabloid paper as some sort of evidence to justify the conspiracy that “da man” hates Sonic.

      Also in proffesional reviewing you review what you review so you can’t just leap towards games you think will be great or vice-versa.

      But, like I said, it’s the Sun. We shouldn’t expect talent from them.

  7. One question; Why is Vizzard reading ‘the sun’ anyway? C’mon Vizzard, you know your too awesome to be reading such mindcrap like the sun…

    1. He’s not. As he states at the start of the article, I pointed it out to him. I was looking for Sonic news on Thursday in the latest Google search results and this popped up. I thought it was so hilariously bad that we should report about it, but I knew Vizard would be able to make a better and funnier article about it than me, so I asked him if he’d like to do it.

  8. I have a friend who’s dad worked for the Sun.

    When he was 12, he was given a Gamecube a few days before launch, and a tonne of games by the paper, on the condition that he reviewed them.

    No joke.

    So as far as I’m aware, this could have been written by a 12-year-old.

  9. Honestly, the only thing that drives sales of the Sun is their Page 3 topless girls. Nothing wrong with that though (in fact when my cat was younger and bringing in random junk into the house not long after going outside, a Page 3 cutout was amongst them xD), but outside from that they still generally cater to the lowest commom denominator. I still want to play SA2 anyway (never owned the original), and I definitely can’t go wrong with it in a digital format.

    But honestly, something from the FIRST Sonic Adventure game? A terrible slogan? And details that made me think the player didn’t even PLAY it? Yep, now you know why I do NOT rely on newspapers for anything other than assorted gossip. 😛

  10. THIS GAME IS GARBAGE AND I THANK SOME REVIEWER FOR STANDING UP AND POINTING OUT HOW FLAWED AND UNPLAYABLE IT IS. BRAVO, I SAY. SHOW THESE DELUSIONAL DRONES THE ERROR OF THEIR WAYS.

    Nah, we’re cool. That review sux.

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