In Sonic’s long history of cartoons, comics and games, he’s had quite a few ladies. Hell, in the comics he’s had enough women to make Captain Kirk envious. However, many of these relationships did not work out so well or were just a horrible HORRIBLE idea in the first place. Sometimes, love stinks. Read on to find out who made the list. Also, when you have to us Google image search to find images of Sonic’s old GF’s for an article, PLEASE USE SAFE SEARCH!! I learned the hard way.
#5 Bunnie Rabbot/Decollete
I put this one high on the list because at the time that it happened, it actually made sense and was fairly realistic. Shortly before the infamous slap, Bunnie and Antione had a breaking up. The main reason was because this Antione was actually Patch, the evil Antione from another dimension (it’s a comic book folks, this stuff happens) who has his eyes on Sally and the crown. Shortly after Sally had broken up with Sonic (in which said slap happened), Sonic had rescued Bunnie from the evil computer A.D.A.M. and the two got into a relationship. Like I said, with both of them being hurt and rejected by their fellow lovers, it kinda makes sense that they came together for a short time.
So what’s the problem?
Since the SATAM days, the Freedom Fighters have been together like a family. As such, most readers did’t really see Sonic and Bunnie getting together as they seemed like just close friends. There’s a lot of shippers out there, but Sonic/Bunnie shippers don’t seem very high on the list. It’s like seeing Luke kiss Lea AFTER seeing what happened in Jedi. Even if there’s nothing wrong here, it just…feels wrong. Y’know? In the end, Antoine came back and Sonic and Bunnie broke up their romance without it hurting their friendship. They just stopped talking about it like it never happened.
#4 Mina Mongoose
Mina Mongoose is a bubbly teenager with a SegaSonic look to her who was madly in love with Sonic and played as a romantic rival to Sally. So basically, she’s Amy Rose. That’s why she felt so unnecessary. She was played as a rival to Sally for a good two years in the book but that never really went anywhere so she became a pop idol and is now an extra character we don’t need. Her new boyfriend became even more of a waste.
Meet Ash, who’s sole purpose of existence is to be Sonic’s ****blocker. He has a likability quotient of zero. Even die-hard Archie fans I’ve talked to can’t find any redeeming qualities about him. Now that Sonic’s over Mina and has gone back to Sally his purpose of existence is even more diminished. Heck, in future stories like “Mobius: 30 years later” Mina ended up married with children to Tails. I hope this means a “death of Ash” issue sometime in the near future.
#3 Fiona Fox
Let’s explore the many reasons why this relationship was so wrong. Waaaaayy back in the early issues of the Sonic comic, Tails came across a deserted island where he met a young fox girl named Fiona and the two fell in love…or so it seemed. Ends up, it was a robot designed by Dr. Robotnik to kill Tails. After a few bad puns (this was the Mike Galliger era), Tails destroyed the robot and left broken hearted.
A year or so later, we find out that the Fiona Robot was based off a real little girl from a decade earlier who was imprisoned by Robotnik, but finally broke out and led a life of danger. Often siding with other criminals, she later became one of the good guys and joined the Freedom Fighters. She had the personality of carboard and I didn’t see any reason for her being there other than the fact that Tails crush on her. (You’d think the gal you loved nearly killing you then showing up again about ten years your elder would turn you off.) Sonic did not want to see his little buddy heartbroken, so anytime Tails was about to muster the courage to ask her out, Sonic would quickly interrupt him and change the subject. So how does Sonic solve the solution of keeping Tails from being heartborken? Why, he starts dating Fiona and the two become steady. Surely Tails would mature and see the errors of his ways making his friendship with Sonic all the more stronger right?
Yeeea no. Tails supposedly got over it, but really he just kept it inside until it exploded later and they had a huge fight. But hey, at least Sonic still got the girl and got to keep his friend right? Well……
Ends up she liked her “bad girl” ways and decided to go back to being a villain. In fact, she was messing around with Scourge, the evil version of Sonic for a good portion of the time Sonic and her were dating. This is actually a bit of a good thing since evil Fiona became a much more interesting character than good Fiona. So in the end, Sonic had to fight his best friend and his girlfriend stabbed him in the back and went with his evil counterpart. Great job Sonic!
The opinions in this article are that of Jason berry and may not reflect those of the staff here at Sonic Stadium. If you feel angry or outraged by his choices, get over yourself, it’s just a stupid article. There are better things to worry about in life.
Y’see, back in the beginning during the SATAM days, Robotnik had basically taken over. Sonic, Sally and the other FF’s were struggling to get by so we enjoyed their little flirtations. We wanted to see them together just to have some enjoyment in their miserable lives. Now go forward years later. Everyone and their parents are back and living their lives happily in Mobotropolis outside of a few gigantic attacks and overthrows. Sonic has been with about a dozen different gals and with so many other heroes around to defend the kingdom, you’d think he’d take Tails and travel the world seeking adventure and stopping Eggman’s villanous plots wherever they sprout right?
Wrong. Because then, this “will they? Won’t they?” romance wouldn’t keep sludging on for issues and issues on end long after it was interesting. The fact of the matter is the writing had to constantly be changed in illogical ways to keep this romance up. King Max is too sick to rule? Better get Sally’s long lost wimpy brother to do it, because she’s too busy having to lead Sonic and the crew on adventures than rule the land. When she’s not too busy NOT ruling, she’s ruining other characters like Monkey Khan who went from a hot-head to a total wuss when Sally started dating him. Then there’s Amy who will take a hammer to any girl even giving a glance to Sonic in the games, but here, he just want’s him to be happy and is perfectly okay with him dating Sally. Yea right. Then there’s also a fact that due to the relationship with Sally, Sonic’s tied down to one place. In the games and most of the cartoons, he travels constantly around the world. Here, his ball and chain has him constantly grounded to mobotropolis. The infamous slap scene defines that. She’d rather have Sonic stay with her than save the world from Robotnik. It’s the highlight of selfishness but at least it finally shows her having a flaw instead of being little miss perfect. Mobius is Sally’s world and sonic’s just living in it.
Don’t act like you didn’t see this one coming. Elise is a character who easily belongs in Final Fantasy more than she does a Sonic game. Hell, the whole story plotline of Sonic ’06 was like that. The game was bad and broken enough as it was, but then to add this creepy romance between 5 foot cartoon hedgehog and a human was creepy and disturbing beyond any levels imaginable. Every scene together where they tried to display romance just came off the opposite and made the Anakin/Padme scenes in Star Wars: Episode 2 look like romeo and Juliet. Then, there was the god awful ending which has a one-two combo of necrophilia combined with bestiality. Sonic and Elise, a romance so bad that even the worst fanfic writers could do better.
You were #6 little miss sexual harassment and jail-bait.