Penders and Flynn (and Bollers and Sega) could write a bad romance.

In Sonic’s long history of cartoons, comics and games, he’s had quite a few ladies. Hell, in the comics he’s had enough women to make Captain Kirk envious. However, many of these relationships did not work out so well or were just a horrible HORRIBLE idea in the first place. Sometimes, love stinks. Read on to find out who made the list.  Also, when you have to us Google image search to find images of Sonic’s old GF’s for an article, PLEASE USE SAFE SEARCH!! I learned the hard way.


#5 Bunnie Rabbot/Decollete

I put this one high on the list because at the time that it happened, it actually made sense and was fairly realistic. Shortly before the infamous slap, Bunnie and Antione had a breaking up. The main reason was because this Antione was actually Patch, the evil Antione from another dimension (it’s a comic book folks, this stuff happens) who has his eyes on Sally and the crown. Shortly after Sally had broken up with Sonic (in which said slap happened), Sonic had rescued Bunnie from the evil computer A.D.A.M. and the two got into a relationship. Like I said, with both of them being hurt and rejected by their fellow lovers, it kinda makes sense that they came together for a short time.

It's like he's kissing his sister.

So what’s the problem?

Since the SATAM days, the Freedom Fighters have been together like a family. As such, most readers did’t really see Sonic and Bunnie getting together as they seemed like just close friends. There’s a lot of shippers out there, but Sonic/Bunnie shippers don’t seem very high on the list. It’s like seeing Luke kiss Lea AFTER seeing what happened in Jedi. Even if there’s nothing wrong here, it just…feels wrong. Y’know? In the end, Antoine came back and Sonic and Bunnie broke up their romance without it hurting their friendship. They just stopped talking about it like it never happened.

Shiny eyes are shiny.

#4 Mina Mongoose

Mina Mongoose is a bubbly teenager with a SegaSonic look to her who was madly in love with Sonic and played as a romantic rival to Sally. So basically, she’s Amy Rose. That’s why she felt so unnecessary. She was played as a rival to Sally for a good two years in the book but that never really went anywhere so she became a pop idol and is now an extra character we don’t need. Her new boyfriend became even more of a waste.

Even his T-Shirt doesn't like Sonic.

Meet Ash, who’s sole purpose of existence is to be Sonic’s ****blocker. He has a likability quotient of zero. Even die-hard Archie fans I’ve talked to can’t find any redeeming qualities about him. Now that Sonic’s over Mina and has gone back to Sally his purpose of existence is even more diminished. Heck, in future stories like “Mobius: 30 years later” Mina ended up married with children to Tails. I hope this means a “death of Ash” issue sometime in the near future.

 

#3 Fiona Fox

 Let’s explore the many reasons why this relationship was so wrong. Waaaaayy back in the early issues of the Sonic comic, Tails came across a deserted island where he met a young fox girl named Fiona and the two fell in love…or so it seemed. Ends up, it was a robot designed by Dr. Robotnik to kill Tails. After a few bad puns (this was the Mike Galliger era), Tails destroyed the robot and left broken hearted.

A year or so later, we find out that the Fiona Robot was based off a real little girl from a decade earlier who was imprisoned by Robotnik, but finally broke out and led a life of danger. Often siding with other criminals, she later became one of the good guys and joined the Freedom Fighters. She had the personality of carboard and I didn’t see any reason for her being there other than the fact that Tails crush on her. (You’d think the gal you loved nearly killing you then showing up again about ten years your elder would turn you off.) Sonic did not want to see his little buddy heartbroken, so anytime Tails was about to muster the courage to ask her out, Sonic would quickly interrupt him and change the subject. So how does Sonic solve the solution of keeping Tails from being heartborken? Why, he starts dating Fiona and the two become steady. Surely Tails would mature and see the errors of his ways making his friendship with Sonic all the more stronger right?

Yeeea no. Tails supposedly got over it, but really he just kept it inside until it exploded later and they had a huge fight. But hey, at least Sonic still got the girl and got to keep his friend right? Well……

Ends up she liked her “bad girl” ways and decided to go back to being a villain. In fact, she was messing around with Scourge, the evil version of Sonic for a good portion of the time Sonic and her were dating. This is actually a bit of a good thing since evil Fiona became a much more interesting character than good Fiona. So in the end, Sonic had to fight his best friend and his girlfriend stabbed him in the back and went with his evil counterpart. Great job Sonic!

 

 

 

#2

The opinions in this article are that of Jason berry and may not reflect those of the staff here at Sonic Stadium. If you feel angry or outraged by his choices, get over yourself, it’s just a stupid article. There are better things to worry about in life.

 

ME?! But I'm so perfect!

Sally Acorn

Y’see, back in the beginning during the SATAM days, Robotnik had basically taken over. Sonic, Sally and the other FF’s were struggling to get by so we enjoyed their little flirtations. We wanted to see them together just to have some enjoyment in their miserable lives. Now go forward years later. Everyone and their parents are back and living their lives happily in Mobotropolis outside of a few gigantic attacks and overthrows. Sonic has been with about a dozen different gals and with so many other heroes around to defend the kingdom, you’d think he’d take Tails and travel the world seeking adventure and stopping Eggman’s villanous plots wherever they sprout right?

Like a praying mantis,the Sally Acorn devours it's mate's head after a romance.

Wrong. Because then, this “will they? Won’t they?” romance wouldn’t keep sludging on for issues and issues on end long after it was interesting. The fact of the matter is the writing had to constantly be changed in illogical ways to keep this romance up. King Max is too sick to rule? Better get Sally’s long lost wimpy brother to do it, because she’s too busy having to lead Sonic and the crew on adventures than rule the land. When she’s not too busy NOT ruling, she’s ruining other characters like Monkey Khan who went from a hot-head to a total wuss when Sally started dating him. Then there’s Amy who will take a hammer to any girl even giving a glance to Sonic in the games, but here, he just want’s him to be happy and is perfectly okay with him dating Sally. Yea right. Then there’s also a fact that due to the relationship with Sally, Sonic’s tied down to one place. In the games and most of the cartoons, he travels constantly around the world. Here, his ball and chain has him constantly grounded to mobotropolis. The infamous slap scene defines that. She’d rather have Sonic stay with her than save the world from Robotnik. It’s the highlight of selfishness but at least it finally shows her having a flaw instead of being little miss perfect. Mobius is Sally’s world and sonic’s just living in it.

Elegant, classy and no longer allowed in any petting zoos.

 

 #1 Elise

Don’t act like you didn’t see this one coming. Elise is a character who easily belongs in Final Fantasy more than she does a Sonic game. Hell, the whole story plotline of Sonic ’06 was like that. The game was bad and broken enough as it was, but then to add this creepy romance between 5 foot cartoon hedgehog and a human was creepy and disturbing beyond any levels imaginable. Every scene together where they tried to display romance just came off the opposite and made the Anakin/Padme scenes in Star Wars: Episode 2 look like romeo and Juliet. Then, there was the god awful ending which has a one-two combo of necrophilia combined with bestiality. Sonic and Elise, a romance so bad that even the worst fanfic writers could do better.

"The article's over! I guess this means I'm sonic's perfect girlfriend, right?"

You were #6 little miss sexual harassment and jail-bait.

"WHAAAAT?!"

Tags: , , , , , , ,

92 Responses to Valentine’s Day Special: Sonic’s Worst Girlfriends

  1. LOL. Awesome Article.

  2. jennytablina says:

    ooch at #2 – like the disclaimer

    That said I would amend it to “Archie Sally” or something, the original Sally may have grounded Sonic, but she generally respected that Sonic was a pretty free spirit and did his own thang. That’s what made fans of the show fond of her, she may of kept Sonic from being too reckless or wild, but she also understood what he was about. Archie Sally kind of did too, till Archie writers nerfed her character and rewrote her into a needy and insecure princess. Ian Flynn did some work towards fixing that horrid mess, though I do agree the whole Monkey Kahn hook up was rather…ugh.

    Also worth noting, Mina and Ash took on a bit more purpose recently, with Mina deciding to sing to try and encourage Knothole residents to help the cause, only to encourage people to turn to Naugus.

    • The cause to be rid of a character better than Mina & Ash combined. I prefer Nicole over never useful Mina. Even Amy beats Mina.

  3. I agree with all them from amy all the way to bunnie. Sonic just doesn’t need a girlfriend at all…..
    actually sega and archie have been telling us who’s sonics real true love for years actually.

    ITS ADVENTURE AND CHILI DOGS

  4. Legendary Emerald says:

    You know, I thought everyone had gotten over the whole “beastiality” thing by now… especially considering anyone who as actually looked at the issue knows that its not “beastiality” since neither Sonic nor Elise are considered higher-level life forms than one another in the Sonic universe.

    I’m not saying Elise is a good character (because she isn’t), and I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve to be number one on this list (because she does). But “beastiality” isn’t a part of why it didn’t work. Blame that on character design, poor writing, and wooden voice acting… hell, as well as the fact that the Sonic in the games probably wouldn’t even work if he were tied down to a woman.

    This is a discussion that ended years ago, and the fact that you haven’t realized that yet is shocking.

    • For the love of… *growl*

      Ignoring the fact that this article is, I assume, not to be taken seriously for a moment, I have to say that Sonic and Elise’s “relationship” resembled the Blue Blur’s relationship with Amy, in that it was one-sided. Elise loved him. Sonic just saw her as a friend.

      I’ve gotten really sick and tired of people bitching and complaining about this. One kiss does not count as “bestiality”. Sharing a few meaningful moments or two doesn’t count, either. All of that was just Sonic being himself: a true blue hero who goes out of his way to keep people safe and happy. That’s what he does when he’s not being an impatient, cocky teenager.

      And to piggyback on what PK just said, no one bitched about Sara in the OVA, did they? No. (FYI, that tail of hers doesn’t give her a pass). But, nooooo, Elise just gets ALL the hate for being in the games (and a so-called “horrible” one at that).

      I’m not mentioning Maria because Shadow thought of her as a sister.

      Look, I understand that nearly everyone hates Sonic Next and everything about it. But, that is absolutely no excuse to exaggerate and blow things out of proportion. The damn game’s 5 years old. No one’s forcing you to buy/rent/play it. Drop it and move on with your lives.

      Regarding the rest of the entries…

      “#6″ Anyone who knows me knows how I feel about Miss Rose. To sum up: for the sake of her own character development, she needs to drop her crush. Period.

      #5: Yeah, Bunnie was quite random. They could’ve done without that from the get-go.

      #4: Mina was just there for drama. But, it’s passed. No harm done.

      #3: Again, drama. Fiona’s a bitch now, and she will get hers at some point. If not by Sonic (or even Tails), then by someone else. Hopefully Scourge.

      #2: Sonic’s acquaintance with Princess Acorn is a roller-coaster ride. But, we, as an audience, have to deal with. It’s part of the core narrative, and no amount of hate mail is going to get rid of it. And no, Metal Sally is not permanent. I predict she’ll be returned to normal 25 or 50 issues from now and Sonic will have to help her cope will everything she’s done.

      *exhale* Phew. Glad that’s out of my system. ^_^

      • Oops. Sorry, LG. Wasn’t trying to reply to you. >_>

        • and like pk i agree with the argument about the everyone ok with Sara from the ova( i see u also saw my comment about her having a tail too lol). and like i said to his reply i might not like the princess but i always thought if the story wasn’t as awful as it is i would have enjoyed her more, i am sure if u just replace Sara withe Elise you see no difference on how they act towards sonic with a few exceptions

      • No one complained about Sara because she was a silly character played for laughs and rarely interacted with Sonic anyway. In addition, she was cartoony, which probably made it easier to hand-wave, in a Roger/Jessica Rabbit kind of way.

      • No one complained about Sara in the stupid movie. Allow me: she sucked.

      • jennytablina says:

        I had no problems with Sara, because it was kind of clear she’s too young mentally/physically (?) and doesn’t even seem THAT interested in Sonic to begin with. She’s just happy getting new toys to play with and having people fawn over her. That said she does have some genuine concern for Sonic, but her feelings are more that of a teenage crush. Plus Sonic genuinely couldn’t give a monkeys for the most part, he’s just looking for the next adventure.

        Therefore people give Sara a pass because it’s “cute” (sort of) and 99% likely to not result in any proper relationship. Whereas Elise was a bit more mature and serious about it, which is kind of creepy…It’s not really Sonic’s fault, though he does lead her on just a little bit (he does it without thinking but still!). If Elise hadn’t been written as such a rent-a-damsel-in-distress, I might of liked her. But she turns out worse than the others because she is practically written to be JUST “the love interest”, there’s nothing else interesting about her other than; if she cries, then things all go to pot.

        Considering this is in a series where, while most female characters have some kinda ship going on, they generally have their own individual personalities. Amy might be nuts about Sonic, but shes generally passionate in whatever she does and sees things though. Rouge might have some ties to Knuckles, but shes mostly about the jewels and being sneaky. Sally tends to be a little torn between her royal roots and freedom fighter history, but she is pretty much a born leader. Elise’s Character trait is pretty much “Human Princess, who likes blue hedgehogs and will doom us all if she cries EVER”

        That said arguing for Elise is pointless anyway, nothing in 06 actually happened, therefore she never met Sonic, and hopefully due to the whole Iblis mess being fixed, became a REAL FINAL FANTASY PRINCESS thanks to the blue fairy.

        • I didn’t care about her relationship to Sonic, that was the problem, she (Sara) didn’t do anything she was just there. Get’s kidnapped when she could of easily avoided it.

          She could of been absent from the movie and there would of been no impact. I guess on that front it’s hard to hate her utterly but she had no purpose in the animation. Also her design and colour scheme were awful…

          • But if Sara wasn’t in the movie, we wouldn’t have gotten that charming visual of her breast-feeding Eggman’s child. It was quite vital to the plot, you know.

      • Thank you, those are almost exact my thoughts, only I couldn’t have wrote all that out.

  5. lol nice V. Day article. I love Sally but I do agree with most of what you said about the girls of Sonic (Sonic should be single, I mean he is only a teenager….or 20 i don’t know lol). Shoulda done Amy just for shits and giggles tho as she’s just as crazy/bad as the rest of em lol.

  6. Sally “I’m not a policeman I’m a princess” Acorn… number of times she’s died… 6… awesome.

  7. SuperSpindasher says:

    I would’nt call it beastiality because they would’nt actually put that in a KIDS GAME. SEGA is’nt that immature to go that far.

  8. So to sum it up; Almost all the female characters are all bad girlfriends. If anything Sonic is aromantic.

  9. Even if you are a fan of sonicxsally or sonicxelise etc you HAVE to find some truth in this. I’m a Sonamy fan, and I do realize the flaw in the relationship and how it is very unlikely to happen. Sometimes you just have to get over yourself and realize that what is written here is actually true in some way

  10. Jix Hedgehog says:

    Could’ve sworn the Sonic that made out with Bunnie was Scourge.. hmmm *goes to read some old issues on his bookshelf*

  11. which one isn’t the worst?

  12. [insert Sally rant here]
    Awesome article! very funny! xD

  13. I totally forgot about Elise XD
    Heres my view. Even though she’s creepy at times, Amy is the perfect choice fo Sonic. Why? She’s a hedgehog. I haven’t seen any other female hedgehogs. If Sonic wanted to have a kid with anyone else otter than a hedgehog, that would be a screwed looking kid. No way a hedgehog and chipmunk/squirrel thing can make a pure hedgehog and chipmunky thing like in 30 Years Later.
    Anyways, thanks for the laughs :D

    • Dakota Jones says:

      Well she isn’t the only female hedgehog, there are two others. But yeah, Amy’s probably the best choice because the other two- I’m stopping my discussion right here….. *shutters with disgust* lol…

  14. rulerofyourface says:

    Even in Elise was an animal character, rather than a human one, the whole romance between her and sonic would have still seemed weird. And if a mere kiss really gave sonic the ability to come back to life, then why didn’t he just drag Amy along as a back up plan, it just makes so much sense. This article really made me laugh too, it was terrific. :D

  15. I wonder if Sega won’t allow a steady relationship for Sonic in the comics. Sonic and Sally probably would have gotten together by now, or gotten married, if he weren’t a licensed character.

    • That’s what I always assume. It’s better (from the comic’s point of view) to have Sonic’s relationships constantly fail so they can have loads of them, stretching out the plotlines, than just say “Let’s have Sonic and Sally get married and live happily ever after”. Though I thought they did get married…

      • jennytablina says:

        Technically Mobius 25 Years Later is a POSSIBLE future only, it’s not set in stone by any means. So in one future senario they do get married ect. but as Back to the Future shows, the future always has the possiblity of changing depending on ours and others decisions.

  16. lol i was going to have a negative remark but i simply couldn’t it’s too hilarious and everyone has an opinion so i must appreciate it. amy number six? she wouldn’t been six on my list i tell you that much, and i think i am the only one who did not have a problem with the princess, hate her maybe but that could be i didnt like 06 very much so she just made me more upset i feel most of hatred towards her is unjustified at times, but i agree her behind belongs in final fantasy lol

    • also this is something that bothers me, long time ago i heard that sega actually had some involvement with the creation of mina, is that true?

      • Nope, Mina is created by old ArchieSonic writer Karl Bollers. She just looks more SEGASonic-ish in design compared to the other SatAM and Archie Originals.

        • ok cause i remember reading on sonic hq long time ago, when they were coming up with a new love interest they ask sega, and sega said it should be a character who is similar to him in speed, or something like that i dont know it’s wrong obviously

  17. Say what you want about Elise, but you got to admit that she’s hot.

  18. When I was a kid, I always KNEW Sonic would end up with Sally, because of the playful flirting they’d always do. Now, not only is it painfully obvious, it’s frikkin’ CANNON (Can we say 25 Years Later?) so really at this point, should Archie continue constantly stretching out the obvious with these two? If it’s already set in stone, why not just leave them be, focus on the others for a while and let them do their own things.

  19. “So how does Sonic solve the solution of keeping Tails from being heartborken?”

    I lol’d.

  20. PK the Hedgehog says:

    Okay, I’m just gonna point this out right here and now… NOBODY complained about Sonic’s human girlfriend in the Sonic OVA, nor Shadow and Maria’s relationship (To be fair, though, we don’t really know much about it)

    • right?i am glad someone finally use that for argument, but to be fair she had a tail so i am sure she some hybrid of some sort, still good one ;)

    • Wait, so whatsherface from the OVA was actually his girlfriend? I just thought she was a slutty little President’s daughter…

    • I don’t think Shadow and Maria were in love, they just cared about each other a lot, kinda like brother and sister. As for the OVA…the less said about that the better.

  21. And people wonder why I’m not keen on ’06 or Archie. All of these relationships…. It comes across as out of character, because Sonic values his freedom. But, that’s just me because I prefer the games-canon Sonic.
    Hilarious and true article by the way.
    Mina and Fiona… I don’t care about them.
    Just bugged me about how Tails freaked out over that at Sonic. I mean, really?
    Sally is fine as character, but I think Archie has just gone on with that for too long. Kinda boring to me at this point, but atleast the newer issues are good.
    Bunnie is fine.
    Elise… No comment.
    I can live with Amy. She doesn’t really bug me.

    But anyway, they’re fictional characters. XD

  22. I do think that if the break-up between Sally and Sonic happened sooner, and the drama built to that eventuality, it would’ve gone a lot better. Elias’s existance was near…scratch that- COMPLETELY pointless and Maxy boy’s old-age ailments dragged out the relationship FAR longer than it should’ve. Say if Sonic kept getting hints that Sally didn’t want him to keep sticking his neck out, and kept getting more injured with each arc and journey. Then the break-up would’ve been more realistic. But with the issue where they split, it came way out of left field. Along with John Gray’s art (dont get me wrong, i love his work and wish he did more), honestly made me laugh. Hard. The break-up made sense, and there’s a lot of emotion that went into it, but the relationship was so prolonged and the break-up was literally instantaneous, that it flew over my head the first time.

  23. Brianzilla2004 says:

    #1 – Wait, so it’s okay for a mongoose, fox, rabbit, or chipmunk to get romantically involved with a hedgehog, but a human can’t? Not to mention the flirtatious bat that hits on an echidna, two hedgehogs and an incredibly under-aged fox. Or that romance between a fox and whatever Cosmo is supposed to be. I mean, seriously, just take a look at all of the inter-species relationships throughout the various Sonic universes.

    Also, while this isn’t Sonic-related, I can’t recall anyone complaining about Roger Rabbit and Jessica Rabbit getting together.

    The writing in the Sonic/Elise scenes were quite poor, as was the writing in the entire Sonic 2006 game, but considering the game takes place in a universe with giant, talking hedgehogs transcending time and space to save existence itself, I honestly don’t feel like it was as gross as so many people say it was. Elise was ultimately a lame character, and I can see her making the top spot for that reason, but I’m so sick of this stupid “bestiality” thing. And throwing “necrophilia” in just makes the writer look like an idiot. I suppose that people kissing their loved ones after they discover their dead bodies makes them necrophiliacs? Give me a break.

    • lol I can’t believe you took this article seriously!

      • Brianzilla2004 says:

        Well, that’s kind of an odd thing to say. Yes, the article is completely trivial and silly, but it’s also written in a way that, as far as I can see, portrays accurately how the writers feel about the characters and their relationships. It’s sort of like if I went off and wrote an article about how awful the relationships in Jaws: The Revenge are. Nobody takes the movies seriously, but nonetheless my words would be representative of how I really feel.

        Equally important is the fact that the “bestiality” issue has been poked at again and again and again. So even if the author wrote all of those with tongue in cheek, I have no reason to assume that he wasn’t one of the people complaining about it all along.

        Based on your response, you seem to be under the impression that I don’t realize that this is just a silly nothing article with no real value other than to be a time waster, and perhaps a source for a few mild laughs. I’m not getting my panties in a knot of anything, although I do find you slightly annoying.

        Look around. Other people are responding to the article too! Specifically giving their take on characters from the list and their relationships with Sonic. Who would’ve thought, people reading an article and giving their opinion of its content!

  24. The-Master-Board says:

    Lol. All I’m reading is “blah blah blah I hate romance” someone not get any chocolate today?

  25. JasonTheJackass says:

    Glad to see most folks are not taking this too seriously. I know other folks have their opinions on Sally and such. If you love Sally, great! This was an opinion piece and a rather tongue and cheek one at that.

    As far as Sara and Maria go. That’s a whole ‘nother ball game. Whereas Elise was a realistic looking human who’s scenes with Sonic had a very romantic tone to them, Sara was a cartooney, mostly human catgirl and most of her scenes were done comically and involved Robotnik. Also, there weren’t any lovey-dovey scenes between Sara and Sonic like they’re were in Sonic ’06.

    Shadow’s relationship with Maria was non-romantic. He looked at her like a sister or mother who helped raise him. Nothing else.

  26. TheHumbleFellow says:

    In fairness, Amy’s never actually got together with Sonic. (And probably never will. Apparently, Sega have some sort of mandate preventing them from offically becoming a couple. Sorry Sonamy fans.)

    Honestly though, I actually think Amy would be the best fit for Sonic’s girlfriend. They’re both adventurous, have strong morals, unbeatable determination, powerful abilities, and short tempers XD.

    If Sonic were to get a girlfriend, it would have to be someone who would willingly want to share his adventures. And Amy’s proven that she’d follow him to the ends of the Earth (Or Mobius, whatever they’re calling it these days.) Sounds like a winning candidate to me!

  27. sonic and amy is better sally its bad

  28. Maybe Sega and the comic should take a smart lesson from One Piece and actually have no romance going and focus on the action. Problem solved.

    • “What ya see is what ya get! Just a guy that loves adventure!”

      Adventure: *whispers* “I love you too….”

  29. I’m not that bothered with Sonic’s girlfriends or whatnot. Though I do think Amy is the ultimate girlfriend!
    And it should stay that way in the games if nothing else. (Referring to 06 -_-)

  30. The ending with Elise and Amy almost gave me a heart attack from laughter.

  31. YoshiAngemon says:

    In a fan-based reality, the only person that he could ever LOVE back would be Rainbow Dash, because she would think that Sonic is awesome enough to keep up with her, and the feeling would be mutual. But it would never work out. He’s a hedgehog, and RD is a Pegasus Pony.

  32. ROFL XD Awesome article I lost it at the end with Elise & Amy LOL XD

  33. My rant on Sonic girlfriends and other what-nots is …….. romance in MY sonic game? RUINED FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  34. Just my two cents on the whole bestiality thing…it never happened.
    http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/bestiality

    Their “relationship” was odd and awkward, but don’t blow it out of proportion…I’m tired of people using the term so inaccurately.

  35. lolz, thats all so true.
    sonic has had alot of bad relationships.

  36. AllSeeingEye says:

    Ok, very good list, some very valid points. However, I have to object to Mina being put on the list. I’ll admit you had some very good points on the bad side of things which kinda deserves her #4. But in my opinion (and yes it is my opinion, not speaking for anyone else here :p ) she had some moments that redeemed herself. The best one being how, despite just having her heart broken, decided to take the bullet to save Sally and keep Sonic happy. Se took a bullet to protect her rival. Christ, the girls a bloody saint!

    Only point I wanted to make though, so meh. Otherwise, brilliant listing! Not that we think about this sort of thing often. XD

  37. Without-Wings-I-Can-Still-Fly says:

    Heck, at least Amy appeared in the games, giving her some real purpose. If it wasn’t for Amy, there’d be a whole lot more fan fics out there revolving around Elise and Sonic, and we ALL want that, don’t we?

    • <_< I'm pretty sure those *COUGH* 'interesting' shippers of SonicxTails would out class both of them. Now if you'll excuse me, that thought made my stomach uneasy.

  38. TheHumbleFellow says:

    Btw, that second pic of Sally is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

  39. Well, this has been hilarious. While I don’t read the comic as I lost track of it since before Sonic went 3D, this was just funny. And man, Google-ing for this article might make you hate other fans. Either actual perverts, or some kind of freakish fetish. And crappy art. Who doesn’t love Google.

    But still great article and no one can not look something up if told not to.

  40. TheLightSpeedDash says:

    Looks like Sonic’s Heart Broken YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

  41. Based on this, I can just assume that this article is 87% right about everything.

    Bunnie – Good Friend
    Mina – Dating a jerk
    Fiona – Evil two-timer
    Sally – Royal Brat/Ball ‘n Chain of Mobius
    Elise – Out of series outsider

    Amy – Only FEASIBLE girlfriend (was fine until she started getting aggressive on Sonic X, which carried on to Sonic Riders series and SATBK). Make her nicer (and less obsessive) and BINGO!

    But yeah, I never did care for Sally. She has NO combat skills or abilities. She’s not even an official Sega character in Japan.

    But there’s still TWO female girlfriends that were overlooked:

    Madonna (Sonic 1 JPN) and Tiara Boobowski (Sonic X-treme)

    • um who cares if sally is not an official char in japan? Not like the japanese care much for Sonic anyway and she does have combat skills (martial arts for Archie), just not super abilties like speed or flight like every SEGA char just so they can have something to do in a game (whch most don’t need to be in). And you might as well make a whole new char if you take away those traits you listed from Amy. It might make her more like Sonic’s perfect gf, but it wouldn’t really be Amy IMO.

      I think Madonna and Tiara just would be Elise and Sally all over again really. But I’m sure Sonic will find love (actually scratch that last sentence, I agree with previous commenters and that Sonic’s true love is that ChiliDog from Generations, that is the true reason Sonic even saved the world from Time-Eater)

      • Amy was still Amy before Sonic X.

        Chili Dog = Favorite thing (Not romance). Also, avoid spoilers.

        • What spoilers? If you mean Time-Eater than the word spoiler is being used VERY broadly in that context. Then saying Fiona is an evil two-timer is kinda spoilerish. And the Chili-Dog thing was a joke, but you can’t say Sonic doesn’t love those things lol

  42. I laughed a lot with this article! It made perfect sense, though.

    Anyway, after the two Sonic Rush and Sonic and the Black Knight, I’m into Sonaze now, but, I remember about Eggman’s statement about Sonic being “the embodiment of the chaos” or something else. By this, I assume Sonic works better as a free spirited character than a romantic rascal, but, it’s just my two cents.

  43. You forgot to tell a VERY IMPORTANT thing about Sally – All that selfishness moment was made when she was traumatized and become depressive after events of #125. When her mood returned to normal, she admitted the mistakes she made. The way you put here gives a wrong impression about she.

  44. after reading all the comments I’m surpised no one mentioned or remembered Breezy (AoStH). Granted she was a android Hedgehog built by Eggman (Robotnik), but what if she wasn’t a robot but a real hedgehog. IMHO Breezy could most likly put Amy in her place.

    • Breezy would’ve been too easy, considering how whipped she had Sonic in her first appearance. And anyway, she ended up hooking up with Robotnik Jr. (guess noone can accuse her of being shallow, at least).

  45. Tsk, tsk. It’s bad enough that the other fanfic writers forget but a professional article writer? Come on…

    Why didn’t you at least acknowledge the existence of Sonic’s girlfriends from AoStH and the movie? Bad form, sir! I was surprised Sara didn’t make the list… If you’re going to write an article about Sonic’s worst girlfriends, you have to show that you’re not ignorant of the other Sonicverses.

    PS: It’s spelled, ‘D’Coolette’.

  46. That whole Sonic/Bunnie kiss just seemed like a TOTAL random ass-pull. Did noone on the writing or art staff wonder to themselves “what the hell did we just put here?”; was there some sort of crack-pairing fetishist working there or something?

    And I really wish people would lay off the Elise thing. Yes, SHE liked him, but Sonic being Sonic, HE is either too oblivious or doesn’t care for the love thing. For better or worse, the woman was a female Chris (surprised he wasn’t listed here; boy was obsessive to almost Amy levels…).

    As far as Mina’s concerned, is anyone else wondering when we’re going to get some sort of explanation of how she hooked up with Tails in 25/30 Years Later? I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it (hell, nice job, Tails!), but considering there’s little to no interaction between the two in current events, it just comes out of nowhere.

  47. Metamorphia. Led him on and then tried to kill him…

  48. *Completely agrees with Elise’s ranking*

    Had to lol at Amy XD

  49. Sonic with a girlfriend? They couldn’t even keep up with him…except Blaze…hmmm

  50. Whats anyone’s thought on Nicole and sonic?? i always though they were the best pair, even thought shes like way past genius her sort of sense of being like totally nieve makes her and sonic work all the better. I wish there was more stuff (fan art, fan fics, or comic time) for these two like together, cause i think it would be cool.

  51. Natalia Nee-Sama says:

    I am not a Sonaze, but I think since Sonic and Blaze “romantic” interactions on Rush series, I think I like her being Sonic girlfriend someday.

  52. Antione (as opposed to Antoine), Lea (as opposed to Leia). Carboard. Heartborken.
    The article was a pretty fun read, and I’m not usually this much of a spelling nazi, but for the sake of author integrity, proofread, proofread, proofread!!