I always used to think that there’s a stigma with The Sonic Stadium that I had real trouble shaking off. The perception that myself and the writers here are ‘retrofags’ and that we bash on every new game that comes out without a word of reason. Seeing some comments fly around over the last few days, I’ve come to realise that it’s not me, or TSS, that has the problem. It’s a group of people that are otherwise known as ‘trolls’.

Trolls are people who try to ignite flamewars for no apparent reason other than the fact that they want to get a rise out of you. Their arguments make no sense, and they lower themselves to swearing and incessent idiocy. When you argue back, they argue more, causing a massive flamewar. If you do anything else, they’ll complain that you’re not allowing their opinion or voice to be heard.

Well, after having a brief influx of trolls on this website, I have decided to knock it on the head here and now. Anyone trolling on this website will have their comment removed and their IP blocked. This is a website that celebrates the Sonic series, and we don’t want anyone destroying the atmosphere for the rest of the Sonic fans that enjoy this place. Don’t confuse this with disagreeing with an opinion or review on TSS; you’re still allowed to voice your thoughts. Trolls don’t have opinions though. They have flamebait, and the mind of a basement-dwelling child.

Take our recent review of Sonic and the Black Knight. Apparently, I should not have written anything at all, despite the fact that I am obligated to write a report on it (for one thing, I’m a games journalist as well as a Sonic fan; for another thing I received a copy from Sega on the grounds that I reviewed it). Trolls think that the problem of awkward games will just go away if people stop talking about it. But if you’re not enjoying a game, why should one say it’s good?

Also hilarious is the notion that we hate every new Sonic game that ever comes out. OK, let’s review some of the games that we did enjoy then: Sonic Chronicles was received very well, Thumbs Up for all except Sound. Sonic Rush Adventure got a 10/10. Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games, 7/10. Sonic and the Secret Rings, 8/10. Even Sonic Riders got an 8/10… it’s really hard to argue that case all of a sudden, isn’t it?

Some more of the most common trolling dribble thrown our way are as follows:

1. That the site isn’t run by ‘true fans’ (usually followed by cursing us like ‘true intellectuals’).
   What is a ‘true fan’? Trolls can never seem to make up their mind. They either think that TSS is run by total non-fans or that we think we’re the only ‘true fans’. The only thing that’s true is, we’ve never implied or stated that we are ‘real Sonic fans’. We’ve never said you’re not a real fan if you like Sonic and the Black Knight. Or Sonic 06. Brad very expertly covered what a “true Sonic fan” is in a recent blog article – if you don’t care to read it, basically there is no such thing as a “true Sonic fan”. You like what you like.

   Trolls however, be they weaned on classic or modern games, want to make you believe what they believe. TSS? We say how we feel, but we encourage you guys to put your two pence in the discussion too. Nobody’s word is law. One man’s crap is another man’s treasure, etc. The only way to be a “true Sonic fan” is to be your own fan of the series.

2. Every single Sonic game is good/great/not bad in the least possible way, and if you think otherwise you’re not a fan.
   Not true. In fact, you’re not really a fan if you’re into being brainwashed like that. No studio is infallible. Nobody can make perfect games over and over. By this statement, Sonic Labyrinth is one of the best games ever made as is Sonic 06, Sonic Spinball and that Leapster game that nobody cares about. Now do you realise how ridiculous that line sounds?

   We don’t want to play crappy games. Nobody does. But we won’t shield ourselves from crappy gameplay or anything else just because we might piss off some trolls in the process. If you disagree with our reviews, fine – speak out (in a polite manner like a decent person). Cussing our website to pieces, saying “TSS sucks” and writing a massive insult with the only relevance to your thoughts on the game being “It’s not bad, it’s great” says more about you than it does about us.

3. Our opinion is unreasonable hate/bias against the game, yet their opinion is truth.
   I love this one. We write our reviews after hours and hours and hours of play. We enjoy Sonic the Hedgehog games all the time, so we make sure we put the time into it before we sit down and speak about how we feel. Some trolls seem to want to destroy a well-constructed criticism by myself from their two-hour sitdown on launch day. Then they take something I’ve said, complain about how I’m “hating” on it, and then provide their opinion on the same feature. An opinion that is no greater than mine, so how does their rose-tinted view of waggling a Wii Remote suddenly become more valid than my lament in doing the same? It doesn’t, and hypocrisy is the biggest identifier in a Sonic troll.
4. We keep moaning about the games long after the review.
   We joke about the Sonic series. That’s what we do. People need a sense of humour. It’s not moaning, it’s nothing personal. Go back to sleep, Grandad.
5. The Sonic series is selling well, therefore the games are automatically good.
   Well I have no comeback for this, because the sentence itself speaks volumes on how terribly absurd it is.
6. We are the reason for the community being ‘corrupt’.
   I’m sorry? We run a website celebrating Sonic the Hedgehog, organise a real life Sonic convention (that even the trolls want to go to) and support the worldwide community by Sonic Site Awards and links with Sega Europe, and we’re the corrupt ones?

   No, the corrupt ones are the trolls that argue, not because they may have a different opinion, but because someone dares to sully the name of the Sonic franchise. They argue to cause drama. They harass others who might have a different opinion and then parade themselves as ‘true Sonic fans’. That is what ‘No Drama 09′ is all about. To purge the community of trolls that whinge about game reviews as if IGN shot their family and spat on their corpses. To remove people who will curse and swear at you if your way of thinking differs from theirs.

   They don’t care about Sonic. They don’t care about the quality of the games. They just want to be in a little elite group that is perfect, and all our sane thoughts are doing is destroying that little perfection. You might as well call the trolls the ‘Sonic Defence Force’.

7. You can’t voice your opinion as the admins will delete it.
   This has never happened. We have removed trolls from firing up nerd-rage against IGN for no other reason than to vent at how their beloved Sonic franchise is going under due to ‘bias’. Like it matters. Sonic the Hedgehog is still going strong, no amount of reviews or whatever is going to bring that down. The only thing that will bring it down? Senseless vomiting of ‘true Sonic fan’ nonsense, arguing with one another about games and hating on sites like TSS for saying a game could do better.

I didn’t really want to write this, but there has just been so much misinformation about this website that I figure, it being Spring and all, that some cleaning of the house is in order. That includes trolls. You’re not welcome here. You never were, and we never will be the diabolical website you seem to think we are. That is your misperception.